Proposed Names for the Kid

JEREMY:
Henriatta


JONNY:
Brutus
Leo
DeShawn
Ricky


MEILANI:
Nothing involving "Jr." - it's not individual enough, just use that name as the middle name
Corey
Peyton


JAMEY:
Fentonella


SUE:
Jasmine
Serena
Amalie


CHIEF:
(proposed name for the Kid to call ME)
Grampa
Umpa
PoppaLee
BIG Poppa


JOSEPH & BECCA
secret, except for Amélie, which we will certainly name one of our children

Predictions, pt. 1

NOTE: we still do not have an "official" due date

MFG Vicki : Girl, July 5
Big D : Girl, July 14

Casey : Boy, July 4
Rachel : Girl, July 5
Torsten : Boy or Girl (interpreted by Uncle Joseph), November 4

Matt :
Marc :
Mary :

Gma Floss : Girl, June 26
Nanny : Girl, July 4

Grendpeppy Poppa Lee : Girl, June 27
Grendmema Sue : Girl, June 11

Leanna : Girl
Joshelina : Boy
the James : Pretty sure it will be a boy or girl, but there's no way to be sure. JUST A GUESS.
Jonny : Boy, June 23
Jeremy : Boy, July 7 at 7:37 pm
Lanessa : Girl

Joseph : June 27
Becca

Meilani : Boy, June 23

Brad : Girl, June 25, 2:15 a.m.
DeeAnna : Boy, June 30, 3:23 a.m.

Letter #2 : Jamey

Written: 11-24-06

Dear Fenton(ella) Jamey,

Welcome to the world.

Your first few years will be filled with wonderment and joy. Soon thereafter you will realize several things. Your daddy's (?) fashion sense is not to be trusted. Do not take his advice that you will look "really sharp" at the prom with athletic goggles. Speaking of girls (hopefully), your adolescent years will be filled with conflict. There will be pain, tears, broken bones, and laughter, in that order (after the laughter, ask daddy's forgiveness; he pays your car insurance).

As to the tribulation caused by girl problems, take heart! It gets MUCH easier!

...Actually, just kidding. It doesn't.

You will be asked by your uncles on an ever-increasing basis which one is your favorite. Chuckle and play their game, but remember to always remind them that your Uncle Jamey is your Number One.

Be friendly and forgiving to everyone. Especially the wealthy. And your parents. Pushing the myriad stupidities they seemingly cannot cease to commit, they love you, want the best for you, and want to see you happy...this does not mean you should wear the goggles or wear a comb-over to church.

Play music. It fulfills two objectives:
1. It will make you invincible to women, and
2. It will feed your soul...in the grand scheme of things it's mainly about the girls, however.

Be happy. Love your family (the Longs are like the Mafia, only tighter). Listen to your parents (unless it has to do with clothing selection). Love God. Revere me.

Love,

Uncle Jamey

Naming a Kid

Thus far all my siblings have attached "Junior" to the Kid's name. As in:

Leanna Jr.

Joshelina Jr.

Jamey Jr.

Jonny Jr.

Jeremy Jr.

Lanessa Jr.

My dad refers to the Kid as "Elsie" or "LC," which coincidentally happen to be both the name of his truck as well as the first two initials of his name.

(Lee Claire)

Henry, Portrait of an Official Introduction to Parenting

The Very Long Empire will be welcoming a new associate sometime in July.

For the time being, we are referring to him/her as "Henry." We have chosen "Henry" as a codename for a few reasons:

1. "Henry" is easier to remember than "Genghis Anders" or "Jackomo," both suggestions of Uncle Matt.
2. "Henry" is a bi-gender name, meaning it can be used for either a dude or a girl.
3. "Henry" is not one of the actual options for the real name, just a good placeholder. The real options will be kept under tight security until a yet-to-be determined date, so as to ward off nefarious name-stealers. You know who you are.

Regarding employment with The Company: we are strong believers in Nepotism as a viable - and fair - hiring practice, so Henry will be eligible for some immediate perks, such as breastfeeding from the President's Wife, and perhaps occasionally - OCCASIONALLY - getting his diaper changed by the President himself.

It goes without saying, though it shall be said regardless, that The President is delighted with this news.

(this is The President writing)