3.18.2019

95% + 5 THINGS.

Said by a proud twelve-year old in a school hallway:

"My mom says that ninety-five percent of the time I'm really good at not complaining about stuff."

Not bad. I'm going to make a list of things I'm ninety-five percent good at. Stay tuned.

___

OTHER THINGS I DID THAT WERE IMPRESSIVE.

1. Changed an anonymous toddler's diaper in a public restroom in under 25 minutes; a task that would have taken a mere mortal at least 26 minutes to do. Seem like a lengthy amount of time? Read below please.

2. Exited the premises of this restroom inside a coffee shop having left the bathroom with the overloaded contents of an uncontained diaper in their garbage can (sorry!) and a bathroom roughly the aromatic equivalent of Chernobyl. Should management have chosen to call law enforcement on us to ensure we never again defiled their business bathroom, I would have completely understood. I used half a container of wipes to clean this anonymous toddler from the digestive contents of his rice-and-curry lunch that somehow made their way to every part of his body from neck down while he slept.

3. Went on not one, but two mini-field trips to monitor water quality at local streams.

4. Cleaned not one, but two absolutely filthy and wretched-smelling goat pens (see: #1, #2).

5. Beat not one, not two, not three, but all four members of my family in Sesame Street Memory Game.

THAT is impressive. And unlikely to be repeated for a while.


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