INTO THE WILD.

Please Eddie Vedder, please write a song about this summer, and this place, and make something bittersweetlybeautiful out of heartbreak.

ENTHUSIA (THREE COWS AND A BEAR).

STOP!!!
he screeched from the backseat.

I responded immediately, pulling over a half mile down the road.
What is it?
I asked.

I SAW A BEAR!

Really?
I said.
Are you sure?!

Pretty sure!
he said enthusiastically.

Let's go find it!
I said more enthusiastically.

I carefully maneuvered a seven-point turn and U-ied around, trying to keep our speed to under 15 miles per hour on the backwoods highway; a decision not all in my rear view mirror were thrilled with.

THERE!
he gasped enthusiastically.

I wrenched the wheel over and gently sloshed through the puddles, onto a wide shoulder, adjacent to a fence.

Pretty sure I saw it over -
his eyes alit.
- THERE!!

He pointed.
I looked.

Whoa!
I said enthusiastically.
That is a black creature!

I know.
he said, not without enthusiasm.
Because it's a black bear.

Awesome!
I said.
It almost looks from here like it could be...something else! Let's get the binoculars out!

We pulled them out, and I quickly racked focus to check out the hulkian predator lurking in the farmer's field off yonder.

I think -
I began...
And the binocs were enthusiastically departed from my grasp. He fitted them to his eyes, checking both ends to ensure proper functionality, before settling on the smaller end to inspect in detail.

I think...
he said, setting them down.
...that it's definitely a bear.

Do you think,
I asked.
there's a possibility they might be cows? There's four of them all laying there along the edge of the forest...or do you think they're all bears?

That's what I was thinking!
he said enthusiastically.
Except I think maybe three of them are cows.

He gently ripped the binoculars off the seat and thoroughly inspected the scene again, setting them down four seconds later with finality.

Yep.
he said.
I was right. Most of them are cows.

Are you sure?
I asked cautiously.

Yep.
he said.
I'm pretty sure three of them are cows.

And the other one?
I asked.

That one,
he said enthusiastically.
Is definitely a black bear.

So,
I asked.
You're thinking that the black bear is hanging out, just taking a nap with those three black cows? Kinda funny, how they all sort of look like cows from here!

I know!
he said enthusiastically.
They all definitely look similar!

Well,
I said.
That is one of the coolest things I've seen.
Three cows and a bear napping together.

I know,
he sighed enthusiastically.
Can we go look for some salamanders now?

Yes.
I screeched enthusiastically.

DAYS OF RAIN.

days of sun and rain
days of dark and pain
always mountains to climb
never knowing heights others have to scale

every adult I see facing enormous challenges,
I imagine them as children once.
children who should have possibilities and adventures
and tools and support for the tough ascents

my heart is ever sad for those with seemingly unscalable mountains,
and I want to race back in a time machine and figure out what will help them get through
and over
and around the tough ranges.

one thing I know; I know with so much certainty, is that I don't
imagine myself ever having regrets over
listening to too much music,
or
being kind one too many times to one too many persons.

I think it's tough to go overboard with those things.

____

Chris Cornell 1964-2017

WHO SAYS FOURTH PLACE DOESN'T GET REMEMBERED?

I told our son I would read one page of Calvin & Hobbes at bedtime for every President he could name, up to 25.

After burning through some 19th century fellas, he began to slow:
"Umm...John Kasich?"
he asked, grinning.

No!
I yelled at him constructively.

He shrugged.
"Well, can I get half a point since he was SO close to ALMOST being President?"

Twenty-seven pages of Spaceman Spiff later, I think he got that half-point bump.

Despite missing both Madison and Monroe, which was so disappointing. We have really got to go see Hamilton this weekend. Anyone have some tix to hand out?

NEKO VS. SHARON.

DC? I used to love Neko Case, but I'm kind of on a big Sharon Van Etten kick currently. Speaking of current...(see image). And speaking of current, our son (foreground) inadvertently recited Nikola Tesla as the third President yesterday. Ha! I'm sure he would not have made an optimal Pres, as everyone knows it requires the utmost highest level of qualifications to achieve that position. Most of the time anyway. Everyone knows that Thomas Edison made a much better third President than Mr. Tesla would have. ____ #presidents #inventors #44pacificnwplaces #mthoodnationalforest #armycorpsofengineers #sharonvanetten #nikolatesla

A post shared by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on Nov 17, 2016 at 8:42pm PST

DIALOGS: VENI, VIDE, ET TU?

When the dusk. ____ #44pacificnwplaces #pnwonderland #44landscapes #mtsthelens

A post shared by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on Nov 15, 2016 at 8:37pm PST

UNFORTUNATE BOOKS TO TRAGIC SERIES.

...the infinite joy of January 13 signaling the launch of A Series of Unfortunate Events on Netflix, although this will likely be followed by devastating grief following its inevitable cancellation; there is certainly no happy end in sight.

MR. LEMONY SNICKET (ADVICE #473).

ALWAYS PREFACE TRUTHFUL THINGS WITH 'HONESTLY.'

Honestly, the two best things we can do for our children are to love them mostly unconditionally,* and make them listen to NPR every morning.

____


*within reason

“There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.”


―the inimitable Monsieur Lemony Snicket

BOY AT BEACH ILLEGALLY USING COFFEE CUP TO COLLECT ROCKS.

Medium roast, hold the whip, with salt water and crabs.

THIS IS A POLITICAL POST : CHILDHOOD IN THE GORGE.

There is no better high than discovery.

- Edward O. Wilson

COUPLED WITH:
...follow the path of virtue. It will not be overcrowded.
- Lloyd Alexander*, Westmark

*one of the great underrated and frequently underappreciated authors of the 20th century

A KID / KID A(T) SKATE PARK MINUS THOM YORKE.

It has taken me fifteen years, but I am starting to like Radiohead's Kid A. I knew I would at some point. I loved The Bends, OK Computer, Hail to the Thief, and most everything else, including Jonny Greenwood's cinema scores and Thom's solo surprises, but #KidA has been a very, very slow-grow on me. But after a long journey, I am finally getting there. Hail to the chief. Queue National Anthem. Now go listen to their new track. It's good the first time around. ____ #Radiohead #2016music #longviewwa #skateparks

A photo posted by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on May 3, 2016 at 6:57pm PDT

Longview Skate Park

STEF CURRY RIP CITY.

Do you wish Stef Curry played for the Blazers? he asked. Yes. I said. I kinda do. ____ #Blazers #stefcurry #damianlillard

A photo posted by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on May 1, 2016 at 3:48pm PDT

STEF CURRY REEL.
Kids,
I said.
Pay attention: this is one special kid. Peeps gonna be payin mad props for decades.

GATEWAYS & CONVERSATION #47,319

It's difficult to say who has had more influence on me:

Gary Larson (The Far Side), in learning about science and the role of humanity amongst all living organisms,

or Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes), in learning about philosophy and the role of children amongst amongst all living humans. And Zorgs.

So grateful for both. Every time I stumble upon a collection of one or the other, I end up crying myself with mirth.

____

CONVERSATION #47,319

I've always wondered,

he asked from the backseat.

how actors in movies, in really long movies, 

go to the bathroom.

His sister burst in before I could reply.

They don't shoot the whole movie all at once!

she said.

They say 'cut!' when they're shooting. So they can take breaks.

Well,

he persisted.

That would interrupt the movie.

And also,

he continued.

The flushing when people go to the bathroom would interrupt the movie and make it sound not very good.

Movies,

his sister explained.

are different from plays. In a movie, you can take breaks. In a play, it's actually kind of easier, because if you were wearing a costume during the play and you had to go to the bathroom, you could just pee in your costume and nobody would probably know.

Oh.

he said,

pondering.

But,

she laughed.

Peeing would be okay, but I don't think it would probably be a good idea to poop in a costume.

KINSKI / HERZOG.

So what do you want me to do?
I asked.
We only have 25 minutes to shoot until your sister's finished with her music lesson. You're directing.

I want you,
he said assertively.
to start at the bus stop.

Okay.
I said.
I can do that.

And then,
he said, pointing.
Walk over to me, and go that way, and then climb that tree over there.

Uhh...
I said.
The lowest limb is fifteen feet off the ground!

I know.
he said.
ACTION!

AN EDUCATION (FINNISH WHAT YOU START).

Happy schooling, students young and elder and middle-lish, in the many varied venues and methods in which you choose to learn yourself an edukation.

INGRID BERGMAN.

Kvinnen hvem har ynde meg hjertet alltid.

(loosely translates as:
Les jeune fille qui a séduire mon coeur à jamais.)

EXPLORATIONS: HOOD RIVER, AND TWO VERY DIFFERENT THOUGHTS ON CHILDHOOD.

A) “It's never too late to have a happy childhood.”
― Tom Robbins, Still Life with Woodpecker

B) “Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

EXPLORING: HAPPY CAMP.

to go home.

THE WAFFLES AND WISDOM OF SUN-TZU.

"The key to good eavesdropping is not getting caught."

- Violet Baudelaire, from Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

Which brings us to my point, which is that finding high ground is good for at least six things, not limited to, but definitely including: reading a book, launching a blitzkrieg attack, defending against a wicked enemy with a horde of soldiers at her command, avoiding a flood, and hiding from tall polar bears, which is a potential situation worth considering. Also, you are closer to rainbows. Also, if you carry a portable* ladder around, it makes it easier. Or, always keep a tall person close by. I am five foot nine.

Happy Day, universe smile emoticon

*as opposed to non-portable, which is more challenging to move

NEAKUC

NEAKUC (Ninja Exploration, Art, and Karate Undertakings* Collective).
*I just needed another vowel

EXPLORATION: COLUMBIA GORGE (BONNEVILLE DAM)

Where no human foot has ever trod.*
____

*if you look closely, you can vaguely see a structure in the background that may or may not have had some assistance from homo sapiens, thus rendering our exploration not entirely a first. When in Rome.

Bonneville Dam in Columbia Gorge / ©2015 Joseph Ivan Long