INTO THE WILD.

Please Eddie Vedder, please write a song about this summer, and this place, and make something bittersweetlybeautiful out of heartbreak.

BETTER LATE, AND ALSO I INTERPRET THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH.

What time does the eclipse start tomorrow?

Also, I listened to the President's speech while making supper. It's not word for word, but pretty close. Hope it's helpful in learning about the plan for Afghanistan and South Asia.
_________________

"America's enemies must never know our plans. There is a reason for this. I don't know our plan either, but I'll figure it out, and it will be a great plan when I do, and I will tell you, so everyone will know when I know - and follow me on Twitter, I'll update the plan there first, but in the meantime, because I don't have a plan, our enemies won't know our plan, because I don't have one, and I think that's a good plan, and rest assured that when we attack, and we WILL attack, it's because of my terrific plan.

So that's the plan, family - and rest assured, here in America, we are all a big family, and we have to remember that, and love is good, so no more hate, and by hate I mean no more hating good plans, because I make great plans, and we are going to have the best plan the world has ever seen, you can bet it's going to make history and it's going to be fantastic, and as I'm talking, a plan has come to me, and I can't go into details, but the enemy would not like it, not one bit if they knew, and excuse me while I end this speech and go share it to Twitter, and remember, do not let the enemy know about the plan, which is that they're going to lose very badly,

I mean really, really, really badly, and you can count on that. Support America, and the best way you can show your love and patriotism for this country is by supporting my plan and not hating my decisions and being unified in support for me and not Steve Bannon, so goodnight America and - what's that guy's name? Oh yeah, God. God bless America. Have a terrific night."

MY SON ACCOMPANIES ME TO A GRADUATION, AND THEY ALL SMILE AT HIM.

#buddiesforlife Also, definitely listen to Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros this week. Just pick an album. Also, listen to a bunch of ABBA. As you should every week between Memorial Day and Labor Day. #evel0

A post shared by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on Jun 5, 2017 at 10:32pm PDT

IN WHICH A THOUSAND TUBAS BLAST CHRISTMAS GOODNESS TO CHICAGO FROM PORTLAND.

When you can combine one of the greatest shows on earth (the annual Portland Tuba Christmas Fest, duh) with some of the greatest people on earth (pictured), then it's definitely an extrasuperspecial Christmasy day of celebration. Also, our son spotted both Bernie Sanders AND Matt Damon's brother in the crowd. He was positively certain on both counts. __ Pic: a kind woman named Alex - thanks! ____ #tubachristmas #portland #longx4 #mattdamonsbrother #ormaybenot

A post shared by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on Dec 10, 2016 at 11:44pm PST

IN WHICH WE CONSIDER KINDRED SPIRITS.

In which I think deeply about a recurring theme in the Anne of Green Gables sagas about this person or that person being "...a kindred spirit" - a sort of shared bond over a particular outlook or insight on life. Always have loved that idea. Got to make some good holiday memories with some new buddies who are kindred spirits; good conversation is a quality I treasure greatly and every human in this selfie is a titan of vibrant discourse. Kindred spirits with vivid personalities and infinite array of topics to kick about from one end of a Thai table to the other. I think one of my defining characteristics is an interest in simply having interesting conversations and repartee with people of all ages. I've never really understood the concept behind talking down to children, in that sing-songy, uplifting-at-sentence-end voice that says: I am treating you like a kid because you're not on my level yet. Of course adults have experience and knowledge that simply comes from being around longer, but it doesn't necessarily make you a more interesting person or better at dialoging, and it doesn't, I think, provide justification for speaking in a tone and manner that shrieks condescension. Anyway, off high horse. Every time I'm at a small town public event in December, it reminds me of the previous year's resolution to become a multi-mega billionaire, so I can hire an architect and city planner to build me an idyllic winter retreat modeled EXACTLY after Whoville; the Seussian winter wonderland utopia populated by New England charm, cirque du solei antics, and cheerful building design equally inspired by Calder, Kafka and Rube Goldberg. Somehow, the 'make a billion bucks' plan keeps climbing down my priority list and I forget it about. Possibly because I'm too busy focused on some microtopic convo with a sub-ten year old, such as: is corn actually a grass? (Yes, I was reminded, it is) So yeah, it was a pleasant evening of hanging out with great peeps, seeing a giant tree light up (thank you Edison, thank you Tesla), and chowin on some Thai cuisine over acrobatic dialog. #christmas2016 #camas #longx4 #pnwonderland #parenting 12-02

A post shared by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on Dec 4, 2016 at 11:18pm PST

LITTLE TRAVELS: Everything is not Awesomeous (But Stevenson, WA is) Video

Everything is not awesomeous. In which I provide a brief list of things that are not awesome, or anti-awesome, or simply not very high awesomeness, and then conclude with something that is simply sort of awesome, and free. Hint and spoiler: Skamania County Fair.

JIM THORPE.

The Olympics start tonight.
I, like seventeen billion other people, am a sucker for them.
Because sometimes they're awesome.
Despite the fact that, indefensibly, there's still no speed reading, synchronized wrestling, or sand dune jumping events.
Four-hour tape delay?
Hmmm.
I wish NBC would hire Chuck Klosterman to do commentary.

GUEST POST: RYAN & AMY'S WEDDING

The Dream Team, Photographer Edition.
Congratulations to bride and groom, Amy and Ryan White!
‪#‎TetherowGolfClub‬ ‪#‎BendOregon‬
@jonnylong15 @josselynpeterson @josephivanlong

- Meilani Long

photo: Meilani Long ©2015

WEDDING: ANGIE & LUKE ERWIN

*PHOTOS BELOW FROM WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER - THANK YOU!

MATES OF STATE DATE.

We are the nerdliest of nerds. Waiting for our beloved Mates of State to appear after 30 months away...which was also about the last time we were on a date proper. A little coffee and a lot of giddiness will keep us going. Rock and roll. ___ #long2015 #matesofstate #44portland

A photo posted by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on Jan 22, 2015 at 8:41pm PST

A lovely evening with @matesofstate and @josephivanlong :)

A photo posted by @countessbecca on Jan 23, 2015 at 12:10am PST

SOME THINGS NEVER GET OLD.

photo: a nice stranger (from Countess Becca's FB timeline)

Post Oregon Children's Theatre's Ivy + Bean The Musical.

Hilarious and especially fun to experience with jolly good friends.

photo: Julie Natiuk

ROCK THE VOTE, AND, A PERFORMANCE: Lanessa "Nel cor piu non mi sento (from La Molinara)

I'm really proud of myself for voting! Again! I feel pretty good - I think I got a bunch of them right (or rather, correct), but then again, I felt good about that one calculus test in college that didn't turn out so well. I handed my ballot over, and just like previous years, they don't take credit cards. She did give me a big smile and a sticker, so I think she suspected I did exceptionally well. Cross your fingers; we'll find out soon! If you feel like giving it a try, there's some good deals on it for the next few hours, so it might be worth it. 

Every vote doesn't necessarily count, because some of them get tossed out for poor penpeopleship or misattention to directions or simply poor choices, but you never know: yours could be the one that counts, like those old firing squads where only one rifle was actually loaded. So go vote now! The future is you. Or, it might be.

Happy right to vote, peeps. If you don't make it count, someone else will (passive-aggressive guilting strategy with a hint of paranoia).
____

screen capture video from Lanessa's vocal recital at CalArts. Beautiful, Sister!

ROSE CITY COMIC-CON.

The mutual respect of superheroes crossing paths.

Go be incredible and design your own capes.

Happy day, Dudes.

A time to carry others,
and a time to be carried.
What it means to be human.
Or, to be a humanistic superhero.

OSCAR'S ACADEMY AWARDS.

A SECRET.
I agree to watch the Super Bowl
with my wife,
and
she agrees to watch the Academy Awards with me.

Compromise at its best. Bam. 

MY LITTLE OSCARINA.
My six-year old daughter, by my side, 
filling out Academy Award ballot for all the films she has yet to see, asking for details on each category...


my heart is so Happy right now.

CINEMATIC BLACKJACK.
I have done poorly in Oscar voting for years; confirming my long-held belief that they are nothing but serendipitous guesswork.


As I look at my almost flawless score thus far tonight, an epiphany is striking me: there really IS a huge amount of savvy intelligence and cinematic knowledge required in order to do well. Wow.

VALID.
Not: "...may your dreams come true."

This: "...no matter where you’re from, your dreams are valid."

Love that.


- Best Supporting Actress Winner Lupita Nyong’o

FIVE: BABY, IT'S COLD OUTSIDE: MY SON'S LIST OF ESSENTIAL TOOLS FOR SURVIVING THE SNOW.

1. Swords. To knock thorns down.
2. Sticks. To make a fence to keep the snow out.
3. Bananas and fruit.
4. Grapes.
5. Leaves. To protect us from the coldness of the wind.
6. Spyglass. If you see something cool to look at.
7. Machines. To help us to not be bitten by bugs or poisonous centipedes. The machines will suck them up (Ed. note: I don't completely understand this).

That's it. Comprehensive. Follow this to the letter and you'll be fine. Stay warm, folks!

CAMAS CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTING.

I see the stars coming down there
Coming down there to the yard
I see the stars coming down there
Coming down there to my heart


- "Star of Wonder" - Sufjan Stevens

WHY RUN, RUN, RUNNY RUDOLF?
Daddy, my nose is running! I need tissue quick! And then can I please have a candy cane?

- Here's the tissue, son. And no on the candy cane. But good for you for trying, and saying please.

Why?! Why?! Why Daddy?! Why not? Then can I please have ice cream after I wipe my nose?

- Would it actually help you get better?

Yeah. 

- Umm...I was thinking that it's not good to have sugar when your nose is running, but maybe I'm remembering wrong. I better check with your mom. She's a dental hygienist and she's kinda smart with that stuff.

Just a little candy cane?

- Why?

It would help my nose feel better.


- Good point.

SUPERGROVERJONNY ALT-J.

I am lucky to have this guy as a brother.
They are lucky to have this guy as an uncle.

photo by Jeremy M. Long????

ALT-B.
I'm tired.
I said.

- Go anyway.
She said. 

I have a lot of work to do tonight.
I said.

- Go.
She said.
And stop grumbling. Work hard tomorrow.

They won the Mercury Prize, but it probably won't even be that great of a show.
I said.

- Go.
She said.
And quit whining. You might regret not going.

I can hang out with my brothers anytime.
I said.

- It's a memory.
She said.
Go.

So here I am. Crystal Ballroom, Alt-J on Monday night.

ALT-J "SOMETHING GOOD."

People in Black (Post-Family of the Year Show)

After the Family of the Year show at Mississippi Studios //// March 20, 2013

Olympians in London, and Elsewhere (post-analysis).

Finished watching the Closing Ceremonies of the Olympics earlier, and several thoughts came to mind. Eleven of them, as a matter of fact.

01. As a competitor, is it more desirable to get fourth place or to get last place?
That was a trick question. It's more desirable to get a gold medal. But, barring that, I would rather supremely succeed at failing by taking a dead-last place trophy than be in the agonizing position of being so close to the medal stand, yet failing. In a rather mediocre and heartrending way.

02. Simply seeing Usain Bolt walking on a track gives me goosebumps. I wish he and Michael Phelps could race each other, in a neutral competition. Like bobsledding.

03. There was a boy band playing at the ceremony. Forgot their name already. Also, there were such past luminaries as Eric Idle, Pet Shop Boys, and Madness performing, which was a well-deserved cherry atop luminous careers. Somehow, it bothers me that this nameless quintet of nimbies should have the opportunity to have this on their resume without having a proper appreciation of the magnitude of the honor.

04. Becca informed me that she would be happy if I started competitive diving or swimming. Yes, dear wife, all of the divers and swimmers are exceptionally lithe and muscular. I will try and start exercising sometime. Soon.

05. Where is Olympic dodgeball? Olympic stilt sprinting? Olympic hippety-hop aerials?

06. I really really want to visit London. And visit Scott Free Studios while I'm there.

07. The 1988 Seoul Olympics are the first ones I remember watching and really caring about. Florence Griffith-Joyner. Carl Lewis. Jackie Joyner-Kersee. Greg Louganis. The Ben Johnson steroid scandal. Those were the days. Legends.

08. I wonder which Gold Medal Winner will be the Least Successful Human Being in ten years? I.e. end up hocking their medal on eBay.

09. Bob Costas. Carson Daley. Old stuff. Let's get some fresh blood in there as commentators, like Stephen Colbert or Steve Carell. Or…both.

10. I am inspired by the Olympians; the competitors who trained and prepared and gave it their all. I am inspired to watch the next Olympics in Rio. Thanks for inspiring me, Olympians. Gonna eat some licorice now.

11. I am glad I chose not to compete in these Olympics. I have done so many more fun things over the last four years than train and exercise and prepare. I am just so glad I didn't compete. Good move, me.

RUN SISTER, RUN!

We believe in cheerleaders, and cheerleading, and we are cheering our beloved sister Leanna as she runs the Hood to Coast relay. Do not fail, dear sister. One billion eyes are watching.

Fly, fly, upon your little feet, and do not consider failure, or second place, or the darkness of the cold night, or the danger of the crumbling roads, or how you still have twelve hours to go.

Shun your mind of negativity. You are Spartan; we are your banner-waving Dionysus. You inspire us all, and now I'm going to go find the chocolate I hid in the back of the refrigerator now that my wife is sleeping. Go, Leanna Joy, run.

OSCAR'S ACADEMY AWARDS.

Academy Awards at my sister's place.

I believe in intense competition and am not above cheating if that's what it takes when I'm with people I respect. Which is usually what it takes, though invariably I get caught. So when I found myself falling behind my sis-in-law Rachel in our predictions competition, I realized I might be forced to start cheating, which made me sad. I didn't want to be forced into that choice, but if she didn't want me to do so, she shouldn't have started winning.

Also, she was semi-gracious and I was not, so she had everybody rooting for her. That was difficult. Really hard.

Fortunately, I came through in the end, battling to a stalemate, which was disappointing, due to the fact that I had been boasting and behaving arrogantly most of the evening. Mostly because I felt invincible in my stunningly-hip choice of attire.

Although I am a firm Coen brothers fan, gotta say I really wouldn't have had issue with Michael Clayton beating out No Country for Old Men for Best Pic.

Our daughter did not enjoy the show much. But she had a delightful time trying to steal her cousin's toys.
____

Best Pic
No Country for Old Men

Actress
Marion Cotillard, yum. La Vie en Rose

Actor
Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood

Actor, Supporting
Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men

Actress, Supporting
Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton

Director
Joel & Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men

Screenplay, Original
Juno

Screenplay, Adapted
No Country for Old Men

Animated Feature
Ratatouille