ACADEMY AWARDS SELF-PORTRAIT.

Oh, it's just the Oscars, no big deal. ____ #oscars #academyawards #longx5

What a crazy Oscars; I can't believe Suicide Squad took Best Picture.

#watchtotheend

CHRISTMAS CARD PORTRAIT 2016.

What a year. ____ #longx4 #pnwonderland

A post shared by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on Dec 28, 2016 at 7:17am PST

IN WHICH I BRING NEAL STEPHENSON INTO THE CHRISTMAS SEASON.

Dear Santa, A couple commitment-free days to put a dent in my Neal Stephenson book would bring us* some Christmas cheer, and if you wanna knock off a couple Luke Cage episodes with me in between deliveries December 24th, ten bucks and you can watch with. Also, bring your own cookies. Love, Joseph "Grinch" Long ____ *me ____ #dearsanta #nealstephenson #44books #longx4 #selfportrait #christmas2016

A post shared by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on Dec 20, 2016 at 9:32pm PST

IN WHICH THE ELVES LEAP THROUGH THE LIVING ROOM WHILE I PERUSE VINYL.

In which five of my favourite activities are on display. Frohes Weihnachtsfest! ____ #longx4 #christmas2016 #vinyl #selfportrait

A post shared by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on Dec 11, 2016 at 9:12pm PST

IN WHICH A THOUSAND TUBAS BLAST CHRISTMAS GOODNESS TO CHICAGO FROM PORTLAND.

When you can combine one of the greatest shows on earth (the annual Portland Tuba Christmas Fest, duh) with some of the greatest people on earth (pictured), then it's definitely an extrasuperspecial Christmasy day of celebration. Also, our son spotted both Bernie Sanders AND Matt Damon's brother in the crowd. He was positively certain on both counts. __ Pic: a kind woman named Alex - thanks! ____ #tubachristmas #portland #longx4 #mattdamonsbrother #ormaybenot

A post shared by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on Dec 10, 2016 at 11:44pm PST

IN WHICH WE SEE CHRISTMAS VIOLENCE COMMITTED AGAINST MYSELF.

When reindeer games turn deadly. ____ #pnwonderland #longx4 #christmas2016 #rudolphtherednosedreindeer #dadsofinstagram #mtnorway

A post shared by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on Dec 9, 2016 at 11:44pm PST

___
THINGS I NEVER ENVISIONED NEEDING TO SAY BEFORE I WAS A PARENT.

"Please, do not lock your brother outside on the porch, in the snow, in his underwear, AGAIN!"

IN WHICH WE NAP, AND THERE IS WHIP CREAM.

It's amazing how refreshing a quick family power nap can leave you feeling. ____ #longx4 #christmas2016 #redbull #powernaps #pnwonderland

A post shared by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on Dec 8, 2016 at 8:35pm PST

IN WHICH WE CONSIDER KINDRED SPIRITS.

In which I think deeply about a recurring theme in the Anne of Green Gables sagas about this person or that person being "...a kindred spirit" - a sort of shared bond over a particular outlook or insight on life. Always have loved that idea. Got to make some good holiday memories with some new buddies who are kindred spirits; good conversation is a quality I treasure greatly and every human in this selfie is a titan of vibrant discourse. Kindred spirits with vivid personalities and infinite array of topics to kick about from one end of a Thai table to the other. I think one of my defining characteristics is an interest in simply having interesting conversations and repartee with people of all ages. I've never really understood the concept behind talking down to children, in that sing-songy, uplifting-at-sentence-end voice that says: I am treating you like a kid because you're not on my level yet. Of course adults have experience and knowledge that simply comes from being around longer, but it doesn't necessarily make you a more interesting person or better at dialoging, and it doesn't, I think, provide justification for speaking in a tone and manner that shrieks condescension. Anyway, off high horse. Every time I'm at a small town public event in December, it reminds me of the previous year's resolution to become a multi-mega billionaire, so I can hire an architect and city planner to build me an idyllic winter retreat modeled EXACTLY after Whoville; the Seussian winter wonderland utopia populated by New England charm, cirque du solei antics, and cheerful building design equally inspired by Calder, Kafka and Rube Goldberg. Somehow, the 'make a billion bucks' plan keeps climbing down my priority list and I forget it about. Possibly because I'm too busy focused on some microtopic convo with a sub-ten year old, such as: is corn actually a grass? (Yes, I was reminded, it is) So yeah, it was a pleasant evening of hanging out with great peeps, seeing a giant tree light up (thank you Edison, thank you Tesla), and chowin on some Thai cuisine over acrobatic dialog. #christmas2016 #camas #longx4 #pnwonderland #parenting 12-02

A post shared by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on Dec 4, 2016 at 11:18pm PST