HARRISON FORD.

Do you know,
he asked me.
what you should do for your 40th birthday?

It sounds like you have an idea.

I said.

Yeah,
he said.
I think that you should pierce your ears and start wearing Mama's earrings. That would be really cool.

Son,
I said.
You and I are in total agreement.

REALLY, REALLY SUPER GOOD IDEAS.

I'm thinking of writing a commencement speech.

LEONARDO DA VINCI THE PORPOISE (HOW TO DO A REMAKE).

Daddy,
he said.
I'm going to make a movie that's sort of like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles but it's going to be called 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Tortoises.'

Okay.
I said.
Sweet idea. So now you can start writing a script, and then begin drawing up some storyboards. And of course you'll need to line up some funding.

Okay.
he said.
I can start drawing the pictures, but I'll probably need somebody to help me make the pictures move.

Yep.
I said.
We'll start learning some stop motion animation techniques that may be helpful. And what is the story about - how is Teenage Mutant Ninja Tortoises different from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Well.
he said.
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Tortoises will be fighting a villain who is a colossal squid.

I am so excited about this production.
I said.

And it's true.

MATRIX REBOOT.

Time to reboot The Matrix franchise. I nominate me, Chris Nolan, and Joel Cohen to hammer out a script. Jonny, Jonathan, and Ethan, why don't you come hang out too?

I AM BOOK.

First off, thanks to Sharika for the Echo Donut Lounge recommendation! Been there twice now; love the space and the people
Second, my mom came up with the great idea, while we were coffee-ing and donut-ing, to each choose a book on the shelf that best described us. We approached this task with thoughtfulness and careful deliberation.

SURPRISE!

Daddy?
he asked.
Do you know what I really want?

What?
I asked.

I want,
he said.
A motorhome.

A motorhome?
I said.
Why?

Because then,
he said.
We could drive it instead of our car, and I wouldn't have to ride in a carseat.

Oh.
I said.
That is actually a good idea.
Maybe we should surprise your mom and trade our house for a motor home.

Yeah!
he said.

So, I guess Craigslist is a good place to start. Guess we can sell the mower too.

SOMETIMES COMPLEX SITUATIONS HAVE SIMPLE SOLUTIONS.

I do enjoy the Olympics, but I don't think they'll ever be all they can be until heads of state are required to compete against each other head-to-head. 

Obama vs. Putin ice dancing? Yes please. 
François Hollande vs. Queen Rania ski jumping? Yep. 
Shinzō Abe vs. Manmohan Singh bobsledding? Absolutely. 
Angela Merkel vs. Helle Thorning-Schmidt on the giant slalom? So there.

No more national "pride by proxy." Put your own necks on the line, literally, leaders.

Too much talking, not enough play. That's what these people need.
Solutions for world peace. I am full of ideas.

Antioxidants

Been saying this for half a decade: breast milk will someday be the next fashionable health trend for adults. Breast boutiques where you can skip the half-and-half and order your skinny latte with an extra pump of Mum's Milk. 

Call me Nostradamus. It has begun. A London restaurant is selling ice cream made of human breast milk. It's called Baby Gaga, comes with a wafer, and is donated by a 35-year old named Victoria. £14 a pop. It is organic.

Story's at Digital Journal. Enjoy. Better go check on Johannes now. I hear him trying to cop a free drink...