MY FAVOURITE LIBRARIAN.

Right before our first child was born, I told our families, "...I don't like all this 'I'm gonna be favourite uncle, favourite auntie' stuff I keep hearing from people. I know it's said to be funny, but guess what? Some of you are going to see our daughter more frequently, others less so. This whole "am I your favourite uncle/aunty?" thing starts off funny, but eventually feelings start getting hurt. Thank you for loving her already and being an important part of her world, now it would be awesome if we can all can build the best thing possible with her that is unique."

Unique. I've held to that through the births and development of our other children. The idea of building relationships that are unique and special, not better. Do some end up stronger than others? Do some end up deep and frequent and embedded? Do our kids gravitate to some family more than others over shared interests, personalities, and familiarity?

Yes, certainly yes. That's how life is. But we have never referred, or tolerated the idea of some relatives or family being referred to 'as favourites,' even in jest. Because again, those jests are a short distance away from cutting deep eventually. The types of cuts that can lead to resentment, jealousy, hurt, and the devaluation or damaging of relationships.

We're all hypocrites, of course.

My favourite librarian is leaving.

My sister-in-law. More than a sister-in-law and more than a librarian, but those are good starting titles.

I am a hypocrite. Because she is my favourite.

I love our little community library for many reasons. The books. The environment. The employees. A peculiar, odd, unique little public library.

And she is my favourite. Technically, she's not a librarian, per se. She is a library assistant / supervisor (Librarian is a term generally denoting the director of the branch and is a specialized and specific degree...I think). But since the article says 'librarian,' and I've referred to her as such accidentally and not over the years, I'll continue to use it here.

I have watched and marveled at her patience, kindness, and genuine affection for patron after patron who comes in. Anyone who thinks public libraries aren't relevant today hasn't spent time in one. You want a cross-section of humanity? Go hang out for a couple hours. The academics, the homeless, the cultured, the students, the kids, the parents, the teens, the city employees, the millennials, the elderly, the infirm, the thinkers and makers and adventurers and discoverers and inventors and wanderers and wonderers and...

they're all there, with their infinite personalities and questions.

And time and time again, she helped with a smile. A real smile. I think of the many times after work, outside work, where she would affectionately refer to different experiences or interactions and her love for her job and the people who inhabited and passed through. To say nothing of the joy she passed along at being able to talk about and recommend books across genres. It was real. A real and true investment of pride and love that she made for sixteen years.

I remember when she was working hard to get a position within the library system. Working another full-time paid job, doing unpaid volunteer time at the library to get hours, going sunup to sundown to pursue her dream of working there. And then she did, and has left a mark, and is leaving for another dream.

I'll go back. But she has been such a joyful and vibrant presence for so many years that...it's gonna be hard.

I will go back. But I'll have to work up to it. And it's gonna take time.

Au revoir, Rach. Thanks for your service, always with a smile, and frequently accompanied by humorous banter, witty observations, and interesting recommendations.

You were my favourite.

INTERSECTIONS. i can't do that, there's no money in it (dummies)

What you love.

What you're good at.

What people need from you. 

Finding the intersection of those points. 

Although this thought is one I have thinked about prolifically over the last decade, this specific articulation is from listening to Chase Jarvis chat with Jeff Goins, author of Real Artists Don't Starve. 

I got some extra calories, so I guess I'm mostly real.

HEROES AND VILLAINS : JAMES COMEY AND THE OTHER GUY.

You don't have to like him.
You don't have to agree with his judgment or decision-making.
You don't even have to agree with some of his interpretations.

But do his responses so far indicate someone with an interest in facts, appropriate transparency, and an unequivocal, unswerving interest in protecting the United States and the offices sworn to protect it and its bedrock principles?

Yes. Absolutely yes.

When someone welcomes the release of potential recordings of their meetings, a priori and carte blanche, it says, to me, a great deal about that person's relationship with truth and integrity.

I remember watching the Iran-Contra Hearings when I was ten or eleven. Didn't follow a lot, but they helped ignite a lifelong interest in government, the investigative process, the pursuit of facts and/or truth, and the use, misuse, and abuse of language.

Someday, our children, all of ours, will be reading and studying THIS point in history in their schooling. Not as current events. History. And it's happening right now. Just like every story, there's gonna be heroes, there's gonna be villains, and there's gonna be those caught somewhere in between.

I hope there's a good ending.

LEE AND JIM, BUDDIES.

Without these two guys in my life, I would probably have turned out much more normal, which would be sad. Truly two of the greatest and most eccentric people in the known universe. My uncle and dad. To hear them banter and argue...they'll probably go to their final resting places someday never realizing there's a name for their relationship with each other: BFFs. When aliens eventually land here, please let these two be the first humans they meet. They'll love us. Or they won't. One of the two. Titans. ____ #dads #uncles #pnw #leica #oregoncoast #44people

A post shared by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on Apr 15, 2017 at 11:35pm PDT

FAREWELL, 44 (video).

"...but knowing that here on earth, God's work must truly be our own."

I shot and edited this short on my phone a year or so ago, with the musical assistance of Jeremy Long and the voices of MLK, JFK, Winston Churchill, and others. Most of the time, when I rewatch something I've done, I'm very critical and self-aware of the many things I would do different and improve on. But this...I gotta say, I'm still proud of this little iPhone 5 film we put together about the personal and the universal . This may indicate a specific point in time...but I am reminded, again and again, of the importance, especially at critical points in our lives, of standing up. Of standing up.

To fight for the rights of all who wish to be free, to be free. And to never surrender.

Farewell, 44.

Our older children's childhoods have been spent as citizens of a country led by President Obama, an era that is now ending. Much has happened. I believe in a thankful spirit and fostering a spirit of gratitude. Mr. Obama, thank you for eight years of service. Just like family, you don't always have to agree in totality to respect, to love, and to acknowledge the commitments and spirit of service a person devotes their life to. Oh, the vid's three minutes. If anyone wants a director's cut three hour version, let me know. I stole the title from Jeremy Long's track. He did the music. Stud. Farewell, 44. You did a lot of good.

THANK YOU, PRESIDENT OBAMA.

I am proud that two of our children were able to spend their entire early childhoods in an America under this leader. A man I have often disagreed with, but always had respect for and believed in his love and commitment to a big-visioned, inclusive world, in a world often filled with mean-spiritedness, unkindness, and lackadaisical thinking. Thank you, Mr. President. Their younger brother faces a different sort of situation. #farewellobama #barackobama

A post shared by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on Jan 11, 2017 at 8:10am PST

___


After watching TV this morning, I cannot think of a more appropriate show to premiere this month than A Series of Unfortunate Events.

BIRTHDAYS: My Dad.

Dad.

There are so many moments I could choose as a microcosmic explanation of what I think is so great about you, but my current favourite is this: you are the only person in history I know who is torn over which movie to watch on his birthday:

Deadpool or
The Notebook.

And the truth is,
I know that you would truly immerse yourself and thoroughly appreciate either.

My great regrat for today is that I am not there sitting next to you with a bottle of RB watching an impossibly romantic love story with you. Or, we could also do The Notebook.

You are awesomeish. Glad you're my dad. Enjoy the rest.

Sincerely,

Joseph Long (one of your sons)

THE FAR SIDE (VIKINGS, AND THE IMPORTANCE OF STRETCHING BEFORE AN ATTACK).

One of the great joys of my life recently has been seeing our children discover The Far Side; Gary Larson's classic one-panel depictions of life-forms at their ludicrous best. Many of them require additional explanation from me about WHY it's funny, which would, under normal circumstances, dilute the comedic value considerably. But in the Far Side world, somehow explaining them has given me a whole new level of appreciation that I didn't think was possible (I was already a big fan). And after explanation...we all laugh uproariously.

TFS, along with A Series of Unfortunate Events, root beer, and Franz Ferdinand, is becoming another key piece of shared family bonding. Gary Larson's odes to life and biology and extreme-anthropomorphism are not only hilarious, but such a great gateway to imagination and what-if? curiosity about biology, anthropology, psychology, and even history. 

Thank you, Mr. Gary Larson, for making the world laugh. And reminding us to be aware and care about creatures of all brain sizes.

OVERHEARD, AND FAREWELL, ROBIN WILLIAMS.

Post by Joseph Long.

OVERHEARD. 
(television spoiler ahead).
I strained to hear the woman as she alternated between her phone and her friend next to her:

"I watched the finale of Secret Life of the American Teenager last night. It was horrible. I hated it so much. In the end, she left her four-year old son so she could go back to school. I was so mad. I can't believe they can even put that on TV. I can't believe I even watched that show."

NOTE: I went to Wikipedia and it appears that it was not only the season 5 closer, but
the Series finale. So, that's one more show I can cross off my Never Need to See Now That I Know the Ending List. Whew. And I was debating starting either that or The Wire next...

THEODORE GEISL, ARCHITECT.

I think if I could hire any architect, from any era in history, to design our dream house, it would probably be Dr. Seuss.

MOTHER'S DAY 2014

Sometimes when I was younger, I would worry that my mom might forget about me, or lose me, and that is why I developed an interest in creating systems and processes that solve recurring problems such as this, as illustrated here. The genius of my system has been validated in the decades since, as my mom has rarely forgotten about me, and has always gotten my back, although she's not strong enough anymore to carry me around anymore in a backpack, which is sad and makes me question her physical endurance. 

Mom, there are so many liars out there today that I don't want to compete with, so I'm going to avoid using the B-word and just say: thanks for not merely teaching your kids how to win at games other people have invented, but to create our own games, thus perpetually ensuring success. I still wish you would have taught me how to win at basketball though, because it would feel good to be the best basketball player in the world, and I'm not, so that's definitely an area where you could have done better. Aside from that, you have performed competently, with flashes of magnificence, and in many ways, you remind me of a really good mom, and actually you are. Thanks, and we've got your back too. HMD.

...I HOPE THAT TOADS START CRAWLING ALL OVER YOUR FACE.

We have started watching Anne of Green Gables for our Thursday Night Cinema Series, and I am suddenly missing my Grandpa.

I suppose I certainly see Anne as a kindred spirit not only in terms of melodramatic musings and wonderfully imaginative insults, but heightened sensitivity to the importance of spelling a name correctly.

And following the example of people like Matthew and my Grandpa, maybe I will try to be a little more kind for a while, at least until someone is mean, at which point I will wish something dreadful upon them (see title above).

THE VALUE OF KINDNESS WITHIN A WELL-DESIGNED PRISON INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX.

Of course inspiration can be found all around us. For example, I picked up a book, which I do sometimes. And read it to my children. It was very inspiring.

About Elizabeth Fry, the early-1800s prison rights activist and humanitarian who helped bring about reforms in the treatment and conditions of inmates, particularly women and children. She showed kindness to people who were largely forgotten and abused. Pretty good lesson there.

So it was a great story, and it was inspiring to me, and I'm pretty sure it inspired the children as well, because I walked into my son's bedroom a few minutes later and it had inspired him to create something:

"What are you building?"

I asked.

He looked up from the massive DUPLO construction site.

"I'm building a prison. It's going to be a really really big prison."

So yeah, inspiration hits all of us a little differently. Respect, Ms. Fry. Shabbat shalom, world.

____

(this snippet soundtracked by System of a Down's Prison System)

WHEN CROSSFIT AND LEGO COLLIDE.

with Uncle Marc Guipilan

HOMAGE TO SPACE NEEDLES

Daddy, can we visit North America this year?

my son asked between bites of rice.

Well,

I replied,

We're actually in North America right now, so yes. 

This led to further discussion of where else we would like to travel this year:

Seattle!

my daughter said.

Asia!

my son said.

Sweden!

she said.

South America!

he said.

Madagascar and Australia!

she exclaimed.

Yay, Australia!

he jumped up and down.

Well...

I thought carefully,

I will talk with your Mom about it, but I think what we'll do is plan on visiting ONE of those places this year. I can't promise exactly which one right now, but we'll go through the list you named and see which one might be the best adventure, and also within our budget this year, sort of a combination of factors. Okay? 

Clapping with glee: Okay!

I hope it's Sweden!

she said.

I hope it's Australia!

he said.

Me too, I thought.

Soon.

POST HOC, JESSE OWENS.

We waited until after our children were born to name them, so I see no reason to be hasty about making New Year's resolution lists. Maybe this weekend. Maybe. Don't wanna rush it. The whole tortoise vs. bunny thing. Unless you're a sprinter with fast-twitch muscle fibers like Jesse Owens, who won FOUR GOLD MEDALS in 1936 on Hitler's home turf while the little dictator watched in fury. Still one of my favourite sports stories ever. So, in the spirit of Jesse Owens, I have not made a list of resolutions yet. I think it makes sense, as one of America's greatest Presidents, Jed Bartlett, once said:

"Post hoc, ergo propter hoc."

Which is Latin, also one of my favourite dead languages. 

Happy #3 of two-zero-one-four, one of my favourite years. To the fleet of foot off the starting block goes the gold, unless you're running a marathon, which Mr. Owens never did, sadly. Happy day. Go listen to some Turtles now.

So happy together.

FILM: Five Thoughts on Martial Arts, Children, and the Karate Kid

1. First of all, with apologies to the Smith-Pinkett family, when I refer to "The Karate Kid,"
I am always referring to the 1984 coming-of-age film starring Ralph Macchio, Pat Morita, and the always adorable Elizabeth Shue. Always.
2. There have been few cinematic mentors that are as kind, as wise, and as eccentric as Mr. Miyagi. I love how he is so odd and how he pokes fun at Daniel, yet is also constantly affirming and positive about what he does well. Underratedly prescient for its time. 
3. Need to see the sad cultural disintegration of body image depictions in film? Check out the cheerleading scenes and ask whether any of them would have a chance at getting screen time in a teen flick today. Sad. Healthy, happy, well-figured...but far too robust in comparison to the twizzle figured skeletons who hog magazine covers and pass for mainstream today.
4. Daniel LaRusso is one of the most refreshing depictions of teenagers - wants to be cool, a little nerdy, a little romantic, a little athlete, a little clunky, a little smooth, a kid who stumbles his way through situations he doesn't feel comfortable in, has anger issues, yet also is respectful, open-minded, and learns to listen. Some sweet scenes with his mom where you're just waiting for some hip wisecrack, but they don't come. Just a bit of banter, but without the eyerolling meanspiritedness and self-awareness. 
5. It's all about Mr. Miyagi. What a character - a character that is easy to parody now, but almost 30 years on still has such a unique and fun chemistry with protege Daniel. And in the pre-Wikipedia days of the '80s, I wonder how many viewers raced to their encyclopedias to read up on Japanese-American internment during World War II, which is alluded to in a lovely little scene.
6. This movie is what kickstarted my lifelong love affair with headbands and bandanas.
7. My daughter kept saying: "This is a REALLY good film," and I squeezed her tight every time and said: "You are correct."
8. Elizabeth Shue is one of the best teen film actresses ever. Timeless. 
9. Use your heart. Find your balance. Concentrate. Nobody makes me want to go wax an automobile or paint a fence quite like Mr. Miyagi ordering Daniel-san to go perform another mundane chore in the name of learning karate.

So good. You're the best around, Mr. Miyagi.

The Power of a Good Dream to Start off Your Day Top-Notch, and also the Tale of a Good Cop

11 a.m.

Good morning, Johannes! Did you sleep good!?

- Big sleepy smile. "Yeahhh..."

What did you dream about?

- Smile expands. "Princess Leia."

Well...there are worse things to dream about.

- Yeah. A warthog came and ate Princess Leia.

Oh. You are turning into a fascinating storyteller.

- Yeah.


11 p.m.


Jangling to the Raveonettes across Highway 26 late on a Saturday night a short while ago and I see the red and blues flashing alongside the road. 

Human nature's first thought, closely chased by a second: a) poor sucker, b) glad it's not me.

Slow down and look over. It's a highway cop, full uniform, splayed out on the ground, cranking a tire iron and helping two teenagers change a flat. 

Score one for Oregon highway patrol. THAT is community relations.

My Accountant, and How He is Such a Stern Fellow, and How He Has Feelings Too

I said to him: 

"Dave, the first year I came in, a while back, you came down pretty hard on me. Gave me a long list of all the things I needed to work on, and you let me know, bluntly, what I would be improving on. I don't usually do very well with negative sorts of feedback, but you know what? Your voice was stern and your mandate was clear and the steps for me to improve were concrete. So that's what I did. I took your recommendations and I improved. And now I understand a great deal more about small business tax planning. Thanks for pushing me."

Dave looked up from balance sheet, his stern goatee softening. "Did I come down hard on you? I'm starting to get a feeling that I do that to people? Do I? I didn't realise I came across like that."

"Dave," I said. "It was a compliment. You weren't mean. You were straightforward. Very...straightforward. It was a good thing. And I appreciate it."

"Well I...I don't think of myself as reaming anyone over what they're not doing. I just tell them what they need to know and what they need to do if they're not doing what they should be doing."

"Yep Dave," I said. "I'd rather have you telling me that than the IRS."

He nodded. "That's the idea. I don't think of myself as mean, or reaming anyone, but maybe I come across that way."

I smiled, and didn't hug him, but I thought about it, and now the thought of hugging my accountant is making me smile, because I don't think he's a big "hugging on the job" kind of businessperson.

But I might be wrong. 

"Dave," I said. "Thanks."

I am appreciative for people who are skilled at what they do, and when they are not only skilled at it, but make an effort to clearly explain the process they're going through. Like Dave. 

Go hug an accountant today. Or take them some good coffee. Or ask Wolfgang Rickwalt about appropriate ways to thank them.

And if you're looking for a good one, message me.
____


I AM NOT A DOCTOR.


One of the primary reasons (probably the only reason) I did not become a doctor is that I get lost easily, especially in hospitals. Supposedly if you're a doctor you have to be able to find your way from one room to another without much difficulty, or get from the bathroom to the ER without accidentally ending up in the cafeteria. It would be great if hospitals were just designed as one giant open floor plan. I see no flaws with that scenario.

SNAP! RHYTHM OF A DANCING MALCOLM GLADWELL.

I adore you, Malcolm Gladwell. Your hair and your books. But here's the problem: you're also a liar.

One of the most memorable concepts in Outliers, your mesmerizing 2008 book about tiny factors that lead to high levels of success, is the notion of the 10,000-Hour Rule.



You might remember it states that one of the foremost keys to success in any field is practicing it for 10,000 hours. That is a lie. A personally-verifiable one. I started seriously practicing my dance moves in front of the mirror when Snap's 1990 electronic masterpiece Rhythm Is a Dancer first came out, and since then, have put in around 65,000 hours of living room rehearsal, with occasional forays into public wedding reception bustouts, but my actual rhythm has only marginally improved (this could also lead to another discussion about the meaning of Irony). I have incredible and insane moves; it's just the rhythm portion that is vexing.

So I call you out, Mr. Gladwell. All respect, but if you've invested as much time as I have into something you love and have little to show for it, then something is wrong with your 10K Rule. Time for you to invent a different rule before someone else's dreams are shattered.



P.S. You're the greatest. When is your next book coming out? I would like a complimentary advance copy, please (thus, why I tagged you). Merci!



The Skeptic. { joseph ivan long 2013.01.17 }

SNAP!

Rhythm of a Dancer

The Madman's Return

1992

MGMT / KIDS + MIKE.

(in which I speak of the greatest song ever, MGMT and non-carbon footprints):

I have a relative. Mike. Really cool guy.
Skis hard all winter. Works hard the rest of the year so he can…
ski hard. 

I only see Mike once a year. But when I do, we have great discussions about the state of the world, about rock & roll from the 60s and 70s, which is best of the Qatsi trilogy, et cetera. 

One of our conversations from several years ago, he made the statement that when he dies, he wants all traces of him gone. He does not want to leave a footprint on the earth. I respectfully disagreed with him then, and still do.

I want to leave a footprint. Not in the carbon sense, but in the sense of leaving something behind that will transcend my own lifespan. When Errol Morris passes away, he will have left a body of work; a series of films behind him that will be watched far into the future.

When Mozart died, he left a beautiful body of work behind him that still has a passionate audience. 

The wheel. AC/DC power. The light. Penicillin. Velcro. The guy who invented coffee. And people who move the world in an emotional or spiritual or intellectual sense. Musicians, artists, architects. Filmmakers and craftspeople and writers and puppeteers who move the world. 

There are people who inspire change at a massive level. The Gandhis. The M.L. Kings. The Richard P.F. Hughes. The people who, by the power of their leadership, are able to set in motion changes that will affect hundreds or thousands or millions of people for decades to come. I guess I am fascinated by what people leave behind. It can be said that 'you bring children into the world to grow up and become responsible, caring, creative citizens of the world...and that is your legacy, that is your contribution.' 

That is certainly a priority. One of the highest priorities for me. But on a personal level, I do have the desire, the mandate to pursue - maybe not to achieve - but to constantly pursue the creation of a lasting contribution, in the manner of those I admire:

Mozart,an Agnes Varda, Frank Lloyd Wright,an Andy Warhol, a Duke Ellington andKurt Vonnegut, aMargaret Meade or Tom Waits,Errol Morris or Alexander Calder or Richard Scarry.

I want to leave something behind that is unique and beautiful enough to survive…me.

Sort of like MGMT's Kids. The Penny Lane of last decade. A song that will survive the passings of its creators. Because: with its gritty, fuzzed-out electro chorus, it is an anthem - one of the first important anthems of this century - that many acknowledge (including myself) as the greatest song of all time. I would like to have my Kids, my Ode to Joy, my gift to the future.

Mike: as long as we keep having conversations, and I keep remembering them and writing bits of them down, your footprint will have at least have a shadow. It will live. You rock.
____

MGMT
Kids
Oracular Spectacular
2007

What do you like to do?

I like to:

- sew, experimentally. which means I do not possess the discipline to use a pattern.

- talk about music, particularly with Jeremy, Meilani, Becca, and a few others I may list if they express discontent at not being on this list. right now I am loving Lightning Hopkins and Caravan Palace.

- drink coffee, alone, and with people. and in the morning, and the evening. and during the week, and on the weekends.
- make and take pictures.
- paint with Magdelana.
- read Jorges Luis Borges late on Friday nights when everyone is asleep, and there is little light, and no sound except Sigur Ros gently seesawing from the next room.
- read. right now I am finishing Bicycle Diaries by David Byrne. it is a terrific adventure memoir about his musings from around the world, as seen from his...bicycle.

- plagiarize Meilani's blog when she has good ideas, which is frequently.
- this is a good start. I am never bored, ever.