FILMS : RUDY AND A PROPOSAL IN FAVOR OF INTENTIONAL ATTENTION.

A few years ago, we watched The Karate Kid with the kids.

Last year, we watched Hoosiers. 

And this weekend, we watched Rudy. 

( image: https://www.collectors.com/autograph/rudy-ruettiger-signed-notre-dame-rudy-movie-poster-8x10-pho/4889367550548704066 )

1984, 1986, 1993. Some good years.

These three films have something in common. Something besides being sports stories or movies about underdogs.

All three are ones I loved as a kid, and was a little afraid to watch later with our children, for fear that I had mis-remembered, and the magic would be gone. Just a good childhood memory from my past that the kids won't understand and that I'll watch with my adult eyes and be unimpressed; tarnishing the beloved recollections of the past.

That's happened. But not with these three. The above three films are ones that I loved when I was younger, and loved possibly even more after seeing them with my own children. 

Beautiful.

Rudy is the 1993 true story retelling of an undersized, underachieving kid who refused to let anyone stomp on his dream of playing football for Notre Dame.

How does everything end up? Watch the movie. Three things though that stand out. I made up an acronym:

ATTENTION

I don't wish to go through life grumbling about "...how good things used to be." What a waste of time. At the same time, it's valuable to look to history and to the past if we really care about learning and growing - learning from what worked, what didn't, and figuring out what we can do better.

Camille Paglia, in her aptly-titled collection of essays Provocations writes about the "...preoccupation with our own modern period." Did she envision or intend for an essay on her problems with modern university campuses and free speech be used as a defense for the beauty of a tiny little sports film? Maybe not. But I couldn't help but note the relationship between a particular character trait of Rudy's and the way in which that particular trait seems more and more archaic. Without wishing for all to return to how it was, I was reminded of some of the ways in which as a society at large, we did...better. Specifically with attention.

As a culture and country, we used to give better attention. Educators and parents and many people love to bemoan the decreasing attention spans of youth today, and they frequently bemoan these things without offering the best thing they can offer:

themselves as model for what it means to be present and to give your attention, your focus to what's happening in the moment and to what is important to you in the future, and to hone in on that with intensity and drive and purpose and stay after it. 

We've been reading and studying Shakespeare this year with the kids. Not his original words, not yet. That'll come. The wonderful Charles & Mary Lamb adaptations early in the 19th century. Written for children.

Written for children. Designed to "...make the stories of Shakespeare's plays familiar to the young." A focus on plot and character, with simple forays into theme and language was a way to introduce young readers to the beauty of the Bard...and ideally provide a gateway to exploring his work in all its complexity and richness.

Here's the thing: they were written for children at the time. Early 1800s. But now you crack open the first pages and compare them to the majority of children's lit written today, and your first impulse is to say...huh? This isn't for children! It's over their heads! The language is weird and those words are too big for them to understand and they won't be able to follow what's happening and...

Here's the thing though. It's not.

It's not.

Our expectations have changed, and our ability to give attention, to model attention, and to teach attention has changed. In perhaps a not-so-positive-way. The net affect the attention dilution has had is in lowering expectations.

When you lower expectations, you lower people's ability to rise and become their best. Children are still capable of understanding, comprehending, and enjoying Shakespeare - including the Lamb siblings' adaptations - but we need to reframe our expectations of what they're capable of and help show them the importance of sticking with something; of giving attention to something because we know they can. And we know that it will bring them joy, satisfaction, and a sense of competence and confidence once they achieve that threshold. 

That's what Rudy did. He set his sights on something difficult, if not impossible, and went after it. And kept his attention on it.

There's a point where some teammates become irate at him for making him look bad in practice because he's going too hard. He's pushing them too hard. Just chill, man. Slow down. Take it easy. it's just practice.

What does he do?

He stands his ground. He does not back down. No. I will not give less than what I'm capable of. If I don't give you everything I have, then I won't be helping you be as prepared as you can be when it's game time. 

He stands his ground and he demands that his teammates give everything. Starting with their attention and focus in every moment they are preparing.

He's not a great student, but it's imperative that he figure out how to get better grades because if he doesn't, his dream will fail and he'll never play football for Notre Dame.

So he gives his attention, his focus, his everything to whatever will help him achieve that dream. He doesn't do one thing one day, and something else the next, and get distracted by this or that.

He gives his attention. And here's one of the things I love about this movie: he doesn't just give his attention in a big sense to pursuing the dream. He gives his attention in all his interactions with others. Parents, professors, priest, coaches, groundskeeper, friends, teammates. He gives his attention in the moment.

And that is a reminder that is timeless.

SINCERITY

I love Rudy's sincerity; his transparency about his dream. He owns it. He doesn't pretend like it's something that he'd like to happen, but if it doesn't, well...no big deal. No. He lets people know it's everything. He cannot understand why anyone would not give everything they had to be part of something important.

He fights hard and he isn't afraid to let people know when something's gotten to him. When he's betrayed in a big way by people close to him, he doesn't hide or try to disguise how it affects him. It hits him hard and he acknowledges it.

Even as he's made fun of, over and over and over by those close to him, he still keeps his relationships with them, even while they're hurting him. He lets them know in spite of their cynicism, their belief in his inevitable failure, he still keeps coming back to let them know: this is still important to me and I'm still going after it.

He doesn't take the sneering, slouching, post-modern tack of "..whatever."

No. He is not a "whatever" guy. He is a "whatever I need to do" fellow.

SUPPORT

“My whole life, people have been telling me what I could do and couldn’t do. I’ve always listed to ’em, believed in what they said. I don’t wanna do that anymore.”

Who's in his corner? Who's fighting for him? Who's saying you can do it!

Uh, it's a small list. Mostly himself and his indomitable, inextinguishable dream.

I asked the kids, as his family mocked him repeatedly, "...is that the kind of support you'd like to be for your family's dreams?"

He pursued his dream mostly alone. He made some friends and built up respect with his teammates and those around him, but he fought alone. And that is so...

...sad.

We all feel alone at some point. Pretty sure of that.

I feel like the biggest hypocrite in the world when I feel like that - and I do sometimes - because if there is someone who can never use the excuse that "I've done it alone," it's me.

(the face of an active dreamer who has been busy dreaming while working)

I've had incredible support my whole life, beginning with my parents, siblings, family. Unlike Rudy.

He went it alone, and eventually...well, watch the movie.

But how sad is that, to have to pursue your dream alone?

I want to be a dream-enabler.

I want to help be a support system for other people and help provide both emotional and tactical support for their focused dreams.

I don't know if I'll ever be on a stage accepting an Academy Award.

But maybe I'll someday be watching and have somebody say:

"...and thank you to Joseph Long, who listened to me, who supported me, and who believed in my dream. Thank you."

That would mean something to me too.

That's something important to me. To provide dream support with everything I've got to those important to me.

A DAY, A TUESDAY.

01
The cafeteria. A terrifying environment for many of us with vivid memories of high school. Also, a terrifying place for people who pay attention to cross-contamination issues. Also, a terrifying place for people with food sensitivities, allergies, or specific dietary needs.

Now picture an eight-year old boy, dutifully, every meal, trudging to the back to check in with kitchen staff and find out what vegan option is available.

Also knowing that at least half the time, even if they’re nice which they sometimes aren’t, that they will likely make some reference to him being a girl, due to his long blond hair. He will apparently not notice ninety-nine percent of the time.

Pancakes. Pancakes and oatmeal and some toppings. No peanut butter, because it’s a peanut-free camp this summer.

I had oatmeal with seventeen raisins, a small spoonful of brown sugar, and a bunch of toasted walnuts. There were no wieners.

02
I would like a boat. Also, I would like somebody to take care of my boat, because everyone I know who has a boat says they soak up a lot of money and time taking care of, and I don’t feel like doing that.

I might like some kayaks and a canoe. Maybe we’ll go that route.

But it is important to make and maintain friendships with people who have boats. Because they’re good friends.

03
Magdelana waterskiied this morning.

It looks so simple. “Keep your tips up. Just let the boat pull you up. That’s it.”

It reminds me of the advice I got for trying to land a backflip snowboarding. “Just hit it hard, and kinda lean back and tuck, and then land it.”

Instructions are so easy to give when something comes naturally to you. That’s why I think the best teachers are the ones who struggled. Because they give better instructions and don’t have the mindset that it just comes easy. They had to fight their way to an understanding of a particular subject or skill.

And a good waterski instructor understands how terrifying the experience of strapping sticks to your legs and being told to hang onto a rope attached to a very fast boat might possibly be a scary thing for the ninety-five percent of people who don’t grow up  going out on a ski boat every weekend during the summer.

“You can do it, Mags!”
I yelled at her.
“Just keep your tips up and let the boat pull you up!”

04
When I was a kid, I painted a ceramic lion at camp. Yellow. Still have it. It’s not very good, but I loved doing it. There’s an instructor there now, name is Trish. She has transformed the ceramics area into something quite remarkable. Taken it from being a dumpy little hobbyist’s corner into being a charming, fully functional little teaching studio for all ages to learn ceramics.

The power of one driven person with a will, a vision, and a bankroll.

05
I love it when you discover you have an incredible aptitude for something you’d never known about before. Like unicycling. I was walking down the road and saw these kids unicycling. A unicycle is like half a bicycle, and only has about approximately one wheel. Anyway, these kids are hugging this fence, straddling these one-wheel cycles and trying to figure em out, and there’s a spare so I pop on a helmet and give it a go, and turns, out, whoa! I’m pretty good.

By ‘pretty good,’ I can go 20 or 30 feet before gracefully crashing, and I have not emasculated myself, in the most literal sense.

It is fun, very fun, and dangerous, which is how I go about life, carefully.

06
I don’t know what we had for lunch because I didn’t take any pictures. And that gets to a fundamental reason I document much of what I do: the fragility of memory.

I don’t need to remember everything. I don’t need to know exactly what we ate for lunch. I’m okay with it. I wish I had taken a picture, because I did for every other meal (I think). But, like a big puzzle with one piece missing...you gotta learn to be okay missing the things you miss and not wishing otherwise.

So I don’t know, I might have eaten a pastrami sandwich,  I don’t remember. I don’t think I did, because I’m vegetarian and I haven’t usually forgotten that before.


07
I guess one of the five valuable things I learned from my parents about being a parent is the value of of playing. Lifelong playing. Playing as metaphor, but also literally playing. Getting down on hands and knees and physically playing with kids. Wrestling, running, sitting, crawling, sculpting dirt, swimming, throwing mud.

I watched my little brother Jonny (ignore the below reference to a different completely non-related Jonny) swim with his nephews and nieces and spit water on them and throw them seven feet high and terrorize them in the lake and I thought,

“That is the is beautiful spirit of our dad being carried on. Wouldn’t he be proud if he were here right now?”

Then a few minutes later, I realized our dad actually was there, and was busy reading a David Baldacci novel and ignoring his grandchildren playing in the lake.*




*this part is not true, but in befitting the truth-adjusting times we live in, I felt this fact fitted the story I wanted to tell better, so I adjusted it to fit.


08
When I was a little kid, we didn’t wear helmets when we rode bikes, snow skiied, or inner tubed behind boats.

Now, I wouldn’t think of biking or snowboarding without a helmet.

Should I be wearing one innertubing? Yeah.

Especially when you’re five feet in the air, hanging on for dear life at 20 miles per hour and the tube perpendicular to the water and your daughter’s butt is about to crash down on your head because you didn’t allocate your weight properly on an 85-degree nanosecond turn by a crazy guy named Steve Hopmann. Also known as Friend With Boat (FWB).

Johannes asked him if his original name was Steve or Stefan. Apparently it’s Steven. Sometimes he drove with no hands.

We wore no helmets, and I was grateful to be alive in the end. Steve laughed.

09
They assign groups at the beginning of the week, ostensibly to simplify and streamline certain processes, but really it allows the camp authorities to more readily identify problematic figures. So we are the Pink Group. I’m happy to be pink. There’s people here who don’t know me very well and thus are not familiar with many of my common sense philosophies that have led me to become a feminist. So it’s interesting being engaged in certain conversations with those people who assume they’re speaking to a friendly audience (i.e. choir) about certain topics. Because we’re in Idaho, and there’s a bunch of white people, and a lot of them are dentists, doctors, or in this case, a physical therapist.

In this case. This one guy. Nice guy from Canada. On the sandbar, something like this. I’ll start partway through. Greek storytellers would call it in media res. Starting the story in the middle. So we’re talking. I’ll call him Jonny, because he has the same name as one of my brothers, but it’s not Jonny.

We could definitely learn a few things from Canada about hospitality,
I said.

Yeah...I don’t know.
Jonny said.
There’s a lot of Canadians pretty upset at the U.S. about the tariffs Trump set last month.

I don’t blame them.
I said.
If I was Canadian, I’d be mad too.

Well there’s a lot we don’t know,
He said.
Of course all the news is liberal and they never say anything about the good things Trump has done.

Uhh,
I said.
There’s a lot of respectable people of integrity in journalism, and if Trump ever does do something good, I am certain they will report on it.

Well they don’t like him,
Jonny said.
I mean, the economy and jobs, they’re doing the best they’ve been since the recession, so I guess he’s doing something right.

Yeah...
I said.
Trump is very good at taking credit for anything that goes well, such as those things. Regardless of what nonpartisan economists have to say about how those trends work and the factors that affect jobs, inflation, and the economy that were set in motion long before his presidency.

Well,
He said.
The media is so liberal it’s hard to know exactly what the truth is I guess. I’m not really into politics anyway.

We stood there for a few more minutes. Then I ran into the water to attack defenseless little children. He stood on the shore, deeply pondering and reflecting on the wisdom I had shared with him moments before.

I am certain that’s what he was doing.

___

I walked through the sand in my wet swimsuit late in the afternoon and thought of what I would be doing the following Tuesday: trying to catch up on being away from work for a week. There is cell service, but very poor cell service. There is internet, but very poor internet. I almost wonder if it would be better to have neither at all versus a poor version of each. I don’t know. There are a handful of times throughout the week that I truly actually need both for financial and work reasons. I don’t know.

Potatoes, meatballs, bad kale, corn on the cob, apple crisp for supper. The food has been decent. The kitchen service...not so much.

We had KP duty, which means sweeping the entire caf and cleaning tables. I am quite skilled at sweeping.

10
Every evening, there is an activity known as “The Big Event.” Some are enjoyable. Others, such as the Mega Marathon, less so.

Tonight was the Mega Marathon. It is an event which I do not anticipate with excitement, primarily because there are two types of philosophies for its competitors:

1. those who are playing to win
2. those who are playing to get children involved, bond with them over some shared friendly and supportive competition, and help them learn some core life lessons about teamwork and good sportsmanship.

I am a bit aggressive about making certain that every child who wants to be a part of it has the opportunity to do so, and have willingly sacrificed both my spot as well as other adults spots in order to make sure that they are able to be on the team. This has not endeared me at times to some adults who have more of a Type 1 mentality (see above).

Also, there was an infamous incident last year in which me and two unnamed teammates capsized a canoe during one leg; an action that left us roaring with laughter, and other teammates not so pleased, as it dropped us from second-to-last place to last place by a wide margin.

So the Mega Marathon. There is running, cycling, stair running, chair obstacle crawling, swimming, canoeing, paddle boarding, and so forth. Magdelana ran a leg of the stairs and Johannes ran anchor on the four-person sprint relay. I ran with him. Just because. We waited in a hornet-infested conclave outside the camp parking lot, and after an initial handoff that resulted in my eight-year old teammate starting off in the wrong direction, we Jesse Owens-ed ourselves pull mell to the next phase : the canoes.

I was not asked to be a part of the canoeing this year.

We finished in last by a wide margin, and our team had the biggest smiles and the grandest high-fives afterwards. For another year, I was grateful we did it. I still dread the next time.

11
Some things I love to do at night, like skinny dipping and watching movies and drinking Italian sodas, not always simultaneously, but sometimes. Tonight I got to do one of those. Hint: it has to do with the country shaped like a boot and it’s a drink.

As an adult, technically, I often forget what it’s like to experience events through the lens of Childhood and how seemingly trivial events can be huge and exciting during that part of life.

Like walking around a lake late at night drinking an Italian soda with friends. Why should that not be exciting now? What’s stopping us?

It is helpful, in that scenario, to have both a lake and friends.

Elevating the trivial to the level of spectacle. That is one of my foundational mantras. Yes, I did coin that.

So that was a day.

CLIFF-JUMPING VS. BASKETBALL.

@countessbecca asked me recently : “Didn’t you used to love playing basketball? How come you don’t play anymore?” I said : “Yeah. I did used to love playing. But after 41 years of existence, most of the injuries I’ve had came from basketball or organized sports. What’s important, more important, to me now, is to be able to hike, and run, and be active in every way with our kids. I want my body intact for that. I wanna be cliff-jumping at 80.” So yeah. River jumping trumps hoops. Maybe both again someday. @7makeitcount7 I wanna hit some jump spots in Montana sometime in the next year or two! Whaddya say?! ___ Thx for shooting, @countessbecca ...and in slo-mo! #washougal #44washougalcamas #pnwonderland

A post shared by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on Jul 15, 2018 at 1:08pm PDT

PROMO FOR J.M. LONG MUSIC "Tennis"

@jmlongmusic - #pdxmusic #camas

A post shared by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on Jun 27, 2018 at 9:05pm PDT

POEM : REST STOP.

The temp was 86, I reckoned.
Call of sweet ice caffeine to me beckoned.
My cool dude sons, I told
We gonna get some drinks, super duper cold.

This would be time well spent, I knew
Me and my boys make quite the crew.
We’d chill and chat and talk about Leonidas
And tell stories about creatures that could potentially bite us
One was excited to talk of Athens and Sparta too.
One was not and would rather play peekaboo.
where there’s a way there’s a will
And where’s there’s this guy there’s a pill.
Strolled into the conditioner cooled place
Thump thump Ace of Bass smile to my face
Boys, we gonna hang in here a real short while
You be good for pops, please go the extra mile?

The seven nods, the one-year toots
Old guys look up, mustachioed cowboy coots
Little fists my chest for YES
Relief immediate I have to confess,

We gonna chill guys, I firmly say
Boy look up: I obey dad, pretty much almost every day.

So here the plan
Clock go tick tick man
We keep a low profile
Then we leave after a little while

I order my drink while one boy starts math
The other one, I notice, needs a bath
But his help is immense
As he shakes my wallet of dollar and cents
Set him down to the floor,
He make a run for the door
Hey you buddy! I shout!
That whole low key thing, what that about?

He looks around frantically, frenetic concern
That his whereabouts I’ll soon completely discern
I already have, certainly so
Because I am dad, and I told him no go.

His eyes scan the coffeehouse place
And search for a comrade kinda face.
He sees a middle age man
And swiftly devises a plan,
Waddling over to overstuffed chair
He points and he grunts like an underfed bear.
His Morse code bleeps and dot dashes
Are too incomprehensible for the man with mustaches.
I stalk over to both parties of men
He wants outside, I explain, but that’s somewhere he’s already been

Boy puffs and he huffs and he gets super mad,
But I remind him again of who is still dad.
You’re not escaping from here,
I remind him.
Your mind is bright but your memory is dim.
I win, I win again, I win all the time,
And whoever you bribe, will take more than a dime.

He listened real close , well most
except for two teen girls to whom he could boast.
In line they stood for some afternoon treat
A beverage to nullify eighty six heat.
He attracted their attention with focused intention,
His plan was something I’d rather not mention
But involved a loud thunder from down under,
His diaper shaking, almost ripped super asunder.
They giggled and chuckled and smiled at him.
That was all needed to blow kisses to them.
Low profile! I hissed.
The idea was that we’d never be missed.

He laughed and climbed up out of my lap.
Please oh please I breathed; maybe a nap?
Upon the communal table we shared
He laid down his plumb body and head blond haired
Stretching out to full length on back
He gathered lungs for a vocal attack
Attack of the singing boy song
Who might ever think it to be very wrong?

Well, when a profile presence tiny is what you’ve desired
But singsonging diaper poet instead is what has been hired
Then the table dancing song sing diaper man
Is simply not on the list of good plan, no nuh uh man.

I turn to help other son with some numbers
Instead make mistake and brain feeling dead or under deep slumbers.
The escape artist sees a break and makes it happen
Irrepressible spirit no thwarten or dampen.
He runs to a friendly 20ish fellow
Who perhaps seems appropriately mellow.

The year old criminal marches up to this millennial cool dude
With the moxie and grace of a hipster elite attitude
And picks up his juice bottle and keys
With nothing so much as a please
I race over and redact them from dirty fat hand
And scream what did you super not understand?

He cries for a while
But five seconds after with apparentless guile
He smiles and points to the newspaper stand.
Look I say but don’t touch.
If you do, I won’t probably like you more much.

He obeys letter of law and leaves the Wall Street Journal alone
But begins scampering up newspaper RACK to climbing skills hone.
He gets up ten feet or so,
Stops to smile at me far down below
I shake my head and sigh with sadness
I thought we’d relax here, but it’s simply been madness
My drink is melting in sad little plastic
I thought this would be some relaxing fantastic

I reach up high to lift him all the way down
He disagrees with decision and scowls noisy clown frown.
But back at his seat he sits content
With a book that cost a buck ninety-nine cent
There’s animals in it and pictures of cows too
He lets the whole place know that chickens say cock-a-doodle-moo
But he tires of that whole reading scene soon
And begs and screeches for a knife or a spoon
Cause the best soundtrack for relaxation
In this beautiful nation of creation
Is to drum the beat of your heart
With something loud and noisy and do your part
To fill a room with huge massive noise
And remind everyone you’re not of those demure quiet boys

We finally at last do start to depart
I mentally list what to purchase at the grocery mart
As I drag him out under my arms
I remember a picture of sweet orangutan farms
And consider the notion of a donation far across the ocean, but ixnay this mental deliberation as a no-go motion
This child is funny and dirty and a little wild too
And has trouble remembering that monkeys don’t moo.
But I am fond of him most of the times
Even when busy with non-felony crimes.
I juggle a backpack some books, and squirmy big little him
And he grabs the lid of my drink by the broad icy brim
With grubby fingers he yank and yink
Too late instincts react as my heart sank and then sink.
He pulls the straw fully all out
And draws his arm back, five feet or so there is no doubt
He winds it around like a big league thrower
This boy who sprout up faster than a big weed grower
And he snaps the straw like a personal challenge or dare
With a laugh, a toot, and an air of what do I care?
The coffee drops fly in slow motion
Like a tidal wave from the deep ocean
I don’t stop to see where they land
Because customers won’t understand
They’ll growl at me and say why didn’t you raise him cute?
And before I’ll reply, he’ll cackle and smile and make a big toot.

So we’ll fly out of there really fast
Before I’m beat up and wearing a cast,
And I’ll remember so well, fleeing pell mell
This relaxation hour of coffee shop h-e-l-l.

And know that he’ll sleep super good tonight and be well rested
After another full day of dad battle-tested...

...oh no, please tell me he didn’t just drink half my fully-caffeinated coffee...

Some new buds. Kody, Christian, Jacob, and Cody (l to r). If you look closely at the middle of the photograph, there's also a really short person. “He’s gonna be a shredder,” Kody said. “For sure.” Super neat humans. Thanks guys. There’s always people looking up to you. #flyviewaerial #44pacificnwplaces #skateparks #battlegroundwa #allthepeopleinalltheworld #childhood #44children #scootergang #pnwlife

A post shared by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on May 14, 2018 at 9:00pm PDT

LEIF & LEONIDAS.

It couldn’t;
The sun could not be the center,
but then it was.

It couldn’t;
The earth could not be round,
but then it was.

It could not;
No one could score eight points in the final nine seconds to win a playoff game,
but then Reggie Miller did.

It most definitely could never ever happen;
A Viking and a Spartan will never be friends,
until they are.

And then you know anything is possible,
and all will come to pass.

CONVERSATIONS. Winona the Hair Stylist.

What are we doing today? 

she asked, not un-brusquely.

Well,

I said.

It’s been a while since my last haircut. I was thinking maybe I’d, uh, have you cut it so it looked kind of cool. 

You tell me.

she said. 

How short do you want it?

Well,

I said.

I was thinking definitely shorter than it is. Maybe enough to make it look cooler than it is right now. 

Your hair is very long.

she agreed emphatically. 

I’ll cut it. So you want like a more classic cut, or a more modern one?

What’s the difference?

I asked. 

The difference,

she said.

Is that with the modern, I’d just take it all the way up on the sides so when it gets longer, it doesn’t flop around. Like it’s doing right now. It’s low-maintenance. 

Oh.

I said.

I usually spend between five and fifteen seconds a day on my hair, so low maintenance sounds good.

Good choice,

she said firmly. 

That’s what I do with mine. Low maintenance. 

Oh, 

I said, appraising her hairstyle in the mirror: shaved sides and partial back, with a modified long mohawk-style streak of jet black going down the middle. 

Yeah,

she said. 

Except for having to shave half of it every day.

Serious?

I said, seriously.

Yeah.

she said.

My hair grows extremely fast. I have to use a foil razor on it every day or it grows to like a number one length. 

I watched a documentary a while back,

I said.

About a type of bamboo in Southeast Asia that supposedly grows three feet per day. 

That’s crazy! 

she said. 

I don’t know if it’s true,

I said truthfully. 

Have you been watching the Olympics?

she asked.

I have!

I said. 

Saw the figure skating finale last night. Spellbinding! 

I missed it,

she said.

What happened? 

It came down to the very end.

I said. 

Between two Russian teenagers who were practice partners and teammates, and they were both incredible. The younger one ended up winning by barely a point, even the older one gave a stunning performance that was not only technically amazing, but emotionally...incredible. She started sobbing as soon as she was done. Gave it everything. 

Wow.

she said. 

I’ll find it on YouTube tonight. I have to see it. 

Yeah.

I said.

And if you want, you should check out a documentary on Netflix called Icarus. It’s about...doping in sports, specifically Russia’s longtime program for its athletes. An expose, I guess. Intense and suspenseful. 

Yeah.

She said. 

Sounds like I’d like it. I might. Netflix?

Yep.

I said. 

We settled in, and she cut a bunch of hair, and eventually she was done, and I paid and left my remaining hairs to be swept up and disposed of, in some way and in some manner. 

Someday I’ll get it cut again. Until then: low-maintenance. 

MANDATE.

There is a spark that every child has
- should have, deserves to have -
and it is our mandate to keep it alive,
and enable its spread.

The spark of adventure, curiosity, imagination,
intrigue,
truth-finding, connection-making,
and world-watching
that is the soul of every wandering wonderer,
no matter how many or how few moons have passed.

That spark will head toward an emberous death.
Or it will bonfire.
It will not stay the same.
It will head one direction or another.
To die or to
live.

We make choices.

Also, wear a helmet.

THOUGHTS ON COMPETITION.

Sometimes, it's not the winning that's important, it's the simple act of competing well and enjoying the process, and making sure you come in ahead of everyone else.

SPORTSMANSHIP NO COOL ANYMORE?

Regarding the team sports: what is the psychology behind never helping your opponent say, get up when they're knocked down? This is not a 'back in the old days rant;' it has appeared increasingly to me that it is a mandate for players to never, ever help up or give a hand or affirmative gesture in any way to an opponent during a game. I know the easy answer about toughness, posturing, 'psyching out,' et cetera, and I know that's all been around for ages, but it also SEEMS to me that it is a universal expectation that you never give an inch of support, affirmation, compliment, or a literal helping hand up to your opponent to an increasing degree. Am I wrong?

I'm not asking if it's a new thing, but if it has a) increased over the years and b) if it's an implicit or inferred idea, or one that stated clearly as an expectation.

Also, is it too late to fill out a bracket?

SUPER BOWL 2017

ONGOING COVERAGE BELOW. YOU'RE WELCOME.

3.37pm
I keep waiting for a coin toss where it ends up on its edge. Game over. #change

3.40pm
I am adamantly opposed to the idea of a commercial-free Super Bowl. #whyiwatch

3.48pm
Anyone else watching the Super Bowl primarily because their wife reminded them to?

4.09pm
Oh, how I'd love to see the President line up for just one play. #patriot?

4.21pm
I definitely think Anthony Hopkins could outrun Christopher Walken.

4.32pm
I have been an Atlanta Falconers fan forever, so it feels so good to be winning finally!!!!!! #dominiquewilkins #4evrfan

14-0, sorry #Giselle

4.35pm
If I could trade my children for 2nd half Super Bowl tickets, I probably wouldn't.

5.23pm
Goo Goo Dolls or Lady Gaga?

5.47pm
Might go for New England now. #truefan #thisiswhoiam

6.42pm
I'm not going for the Patriots, I just want a close high-scoring game. Hopefully 85-79.

6.49pm
What if football was exactly the same as it is now, except players also carried samurai swords? I think the game would have a different feel, honestly.

6.49pm
"When you have the right gloves, the ball pretty much catches itself."

- Jeremy Long

6.58pm
How does Joe Montana feel about this game? As the one person whose legacy may or may not be shifted historically by what Tom Brady does or does not do in the remaining three minutes?

7.07pm
Truth.

7.17pm
Both teams could walk off the field hand in hand now and make a statement to the world. #couldhappen #cowinners

SADLY, NO MORE POLITICS FOREVER, FOR A WHILE.

the infinite sadness of November 8 signaling the end of election season.

RIO 2016 OLYMPICS : usain bolt the sort of great.

I don't really care for Usain Bolt,
he announced.

Why is that?
I asked.

Well,
he said.
I just don't really like going for the people who keep on winning everything and try to act all cool about it.

Oh.
I said.
Pretty big Michael Phelps fan, huh?

No.
he said.

INSTEAD OF YOGA.

Nothing like some low-key Olympics-watching to relax at the end of a stressful day. Thank goodness we let our daughter take a break from gymnastics practice to snap this candid.
____

#iheartalyraismansparents

WERNER HERZOG.

...in case you ever wonder what Olympic athletes do privately after their big event.

pictured: first place, not first place.

[thanks for the visual assist, humans]


THE ANSWER IS NOT RUSH LIMBAUGH.

I truly cannot think of anyone I would rather have do Olympics play-by-play and analysis than Werner Herzog. How it has not happened yet is beyond me.

RIO 2016 OLYMPICS : diving

My wife loves all the Olympic stuff, but as our daughter noted, "...Mama, your eyes are just glued to the screen when the men's divers are on."

It's pretty awesome to be married to someone who loves the spirit of competition and comradery. I know that's what attracts her to the sport.

JIM THORPE.

The Olympics start tonight.
I, like seventeen billion other people, am a sucker for them.
Because sometimes they're awesome.
Despite the fact that, indefensibly, there's still no speed reading, synchronized wrestling, or sand dune jumping events.
Four-hour tape delay?
Hmmm.
I wish NBC would hire Chuck Klosterman to do commentary.

KATIE LEDECKY.

It's so hard to believe in just over nine decades, our daughter will be one hundred. They grow up so fast. Speaking of which, I had this sudden moment of clarity this morning, watching Michael Phelps talk about his 19th gold medal. I remembered that I have none. No medal. Zip (I am being serious here - I have never won any Olympic event*).

As I near the end of my fourth decade of existence, I have to ask myself: will I ever break his Olympic medal count record? (Again, I currently have zero) And the tough answer is: there is at least a fifty-percent chance I will never break his record. Reality is tough, which is why I strongly suggest not being too friendly with it.

*technically, I have not been to the [hashtag] Olympics as a competitor**

**technically, I have not been to the #Olympics at all, any capacity


___


LESS HOME, PLEASE.

Homeless people are so lucky.
she said dreamily.
One of my goals someday is to be homeless.

And why,
I asked.
is that?

So,
she said confidently.
I can live under a bridge. That is one of my goals.

Well,
I said.
That is something you'll need to work hard to achieve.

FATHER'S DAY 2016 : Thank you, Becca and LeBron.

Fellow dudes with kids,

I don't know what your wives and girlfriends and husbands and significant others have done for you this Father's Day, but my wife just informed me that she called
Lebron James earlier this morning and asked him to win a championship for me. Which he just *SPOILER ALERT* just did.

A little dumbfounded right now that she did this! I saw him look at the camera and point at me and mouth the words "this is for you." I was just blown away that they did this for me. I have been a long time Cavaliers fan (since the beginning of this series), so it meant a lot. I never suspected my wife and LeBron James would collaborate on a Dad's Day gift for me.

Thank you both. Best game seven Finals I've seen in over 20 years. The bar has been set and I'm excited for Christmas and what surprises may be in store. Incredible present. I don't even know how they pulled this off together. A little teary right now.
____

With LeBron James and Becca Nutter Long

A KID / KID A(T) SKATE PARK MINUS THOM YORKE.

It has taken me fifteen years, but I am starting to like Radiohead's Kid A. I knew I would at some point. I loved The Bends, OK Computer, Hail to the Thief, and most everything else, including Jonny Greenwood's cinema scores and Thom's solo surprises, but #KidA has been a very, very slow-grow on me. But after a long journey, I am finally getting there. Hail to the chief. Queue National Anthem. Now go listen to their new track. It's good the first time around. ____ #Radiohead #2016music #longviewwa #skateparks

A photo posted by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on May 3, 2016 at 6:57pm PDT

Longview Skate Park