SUPER BOWL 2017

ONGOING COVERAGE BELOW. YOU'RE WELCOME.

3.37pm
I keep waiting for a coin toss where it ends up on its edge. Game over. #change

3.40pm
I am adamantly opposed to the idea of a commercial-free Super Bowl. #whyiwatch

3.48pm
Anyone else watching the Super Bowl primarily because their wife reminded them to?

4.09pm
Oh, how I'd love to see the President line up for just one play. #patriot?

4.21pm
I definitely think Anthony Hopkins could outrun Christopher Walken.

4.32pm
I have been an Atlanta Falconers fan forever, so it feels so good to be winning finally!!!!!! #dominiquewilkins #4evrfan

14-0, sorry #Giselle

4.35pm
If I could trade my children for 2nd half Super Bowl tickets, I probably wouldn't.

5.23pm
Goo Goo Dolls or Lady Gaga?

5.47pm
Might go for New England now. #truefan #thisiswhoiam

6.42pm
I'm not going for the Patriots, I just want a close high-scoring game. Hopefully 85-79.

6.49pm
What if football was exactly the same as it is now, except players also carried samurai swords? I think the game would have a different feel, honestly.

6.49pm
"When you have the right gloves, the ball pretty much catches itself."

- Jeremy Long

6.58pm
How does Joe Montana feel about this game? As the one person whose legacy may or may not be shifted historically by what Tom Brady does or does not do in the remaining three minutes?

7.07pm
Truth.

7.17pm
Both teams could walk off the field hand in hand now and make a statement to the world. #couldhappen #cowinners

SUPER BOWL XLVIII: Seahawks vs. Broncos.

MY FIRST FIVE SUPER BOWL REMEMBRANCES.
1. First one. 1985. 49ers vs. Dolphins. Or, Montana vs. Marino. Joe got my allegiance then and I never looked back, though I did later meet Miami coach Don Shula, who was a fine and articulate gentleman.

Final: S.F. 38-16

2. At a 1990 pizza parlor in Bend, Oregon, watching San Francisco thump Denver 55-10. Went to the bathroom, came back two minutes later, and Jerry Rice had scored yet again. Pyrotechnics. Poor mile high.

2b. 2004. Janet Jackson's malfunction. There was a game, but I remember almost nothing about it, except that it was a very good one.

3. The 1991 heartache of Buffalo kicker Scott Norwood's wide right 47-yard field goal attempt with eight seconds left to dash the Bills hopes against Jeff Hostetler's Giants as they lost the closest Super Bowl ever. 20-19. The first of Buffalo's four consecutive S.B. losses. Whitney Houson National Anthem; New Kids on the Block halftime show. 

4. The 2000 heartache of Tennessee Titan wide receiver Kevin Dyson lunging for the goal line and coming up a yard short with no time left in a play that would have tied the game. Final: Rams 23-16. Greatest S.B. ending ever.

5. The calm and resolute three-minute march of the 49ers as the clock ran down and Montana hit John Taylor with 34 seconds left to top the Bengals 20-16. Jerry Rice: 215 yards receiving.

5b. 2003's Buccaneers vs. Raiders, in which I attend a massively fun party with a bunch of fellow film geeks and aficionados for a Super Bowl Commercial party; during which we discuss Sergio Leone westerns during the game, and wait for the commercials to actually tune in. I do remember that Oakland's Rich Gannon threw five interceptions, which is not generally helpful to your team when you're the quarterback.

Happy Bowling, all!

ELEVEN MINUTES BEFORE GAMETIME.
Anybody up for some afternoon Scrabble in the park? Meet up in about ten minutes or so?


#sportsismylife

THIS IS LOVE.
"I can never truly accept you or love you for who you are until you have a commercial in the Super Bowl."


- my wife

MY DAD: FOOTBALL ANALYST.
"What he needs to do is go around. He should have run AROUND them. Look! He would have had a first down if he had gone AROUND."


I agree.

FAIL.
Funny Volkswagen ad with the wings...but where are the female engineers? Seriously?!


Biggest sports event of the year, running a national spot, bunch of dudes only in lab coats. Don't get it. Little deal? Uhh, what am I not getting?

Alternate Super Bowl halftime show.

THREE MINUTES LEFT IN THE FOURTH QUARTER; POINT SPREAD ABOUT A BILLION: THE CRYING GAME (SPOILER).
I am watching on a 30-second time delay, so please delay any posts about who won until an hour after it ends, just to be safe. I like to be surprised.

Final of the Nailbiting Match.
Seattle Seahawks 43, Denver (not very bucking) Broncos 8

SUPER BOWL XLVII 49ers vs. Ravens

Wrap-up of my online coverage for this year's Super Bowl.


Who is your favourite referee so far?


#sportingmatch #superbowl #49ers

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When is the NFL going to take my advice and eliminate punting?

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Where is Deon Sanders when you need him?

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I think football would be a different game if players weren't allowed to use their hands.

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Where is Bo Jackson when you need him?!

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Prepare for one of the great second half comebacks in history. Ronnie Lott, where are you?

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Where is Roger Craig when you need him?!

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There's a part of me that thinks it's a good thing the Super Bowl isn't on the metric standard.

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Fake field goal. Please.

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I don't necessarily think Beyonce is a BETTER dancer than me, but her longevity is probably stronger.

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I love how Beyonce always looks happy. I bet she's a good mom. But I don't know. We should have her and Jay over.

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"How much worse can it get?" said someone.

Welcome to the second half.

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I am the target audience for every single television show they've advertised. I want to see them all. Precisely why we don't have television.

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Jerry Rice is having a conniption right now. Gotta hang on.

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Here we go. May the spirit of John Taylor come upon you, San Francisco.

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If you could pick any non-sports commentator to do Super Bowl play-by-play...who would it be?

Me: Chuck Klosterman.

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Ooh...I love it when bad calls go our way.

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I wonder how big the Super Bowl would be if it was flag football. I would certainly watch.

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Baltimore has The Wire.

What is San Francisco's equivalent television program?

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Paul Rudd over Seth Rogen.

Every time. Good spot.

#sportingmatch #superbowl #49ers #commercials #samsung

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Do not punt.

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This could be an important possession.

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Best two games out of three?

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Good day to be a Harbaugh.

If your first name is John.

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Greatest last play in Super Bowl history coming up?

#sportingmatch #superbowl #49ers #eightlateralsoughttodoit

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For just a split second, I thought a miracle was happening. Then the miracle was murdered by a phalanx of 

Baltimore bullies.

#sportingmatch #superbowl #49ers #atleastyouveallgothugepaychecksstill

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The outcome was disappointing, but I will always have the great memory of a fabulous Super Bowl experience. Thanks Leanna and Micael for an incredible palette of culinary delights and goodies. Would you be interested in hosting a party for the National Speling Championship (just the Finals)? Surprisingly suspenseful. Consider it.

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FINAL:

Baltimore Ravens 34, San Francisco 49ers 31

SUPER BOWL XLVI: Giants vs. Patriots.