CLOSE, CLOSER, GONE, BUT STILL IN MY HEART.

I have told my siblings for years,
for years :

Be where you need to be. 

Even if we go through periods of being geographically distant from one another, I would rather have physical distance than emotionally distance. 

The two don't have to be related. Geographic distance with emotional distance. But you gotta fight, ya gotta fight for what's important. A little fight goes a long ways.

Of course there's a certain amount - a lot - that you lose with not seeing someone regularly. But I would rather support people I care about being where they need to be and doing what they need to do, even if it means giving them up, then have them stay geographically close just to stay safe and secure.

But man, man, man oh man it's hard some days.

Some days, some days are just harder than others when you miss someone.

That's circa 1994. Jonny's bigger and buffer and smarter and a whole long ways away now.

But we are still connected.

Forever.

A COMMA, NOT A PERIOD.

The first thing you'll probably notice is how well-composed this group selfie is.

That's because I took it, and I am very good at taking group selfies. My left arm, like that one foot of that one Daniel Day-Lewis character, is very dexterous and surprisingly lengthy.

The other thing you might notice is that the people contained within this frame do not appear happy. Or rather, joyful. There is not a song in these hearts, or if there is, it is likely a Black Heart Processional song, or maybe one of more Adele's more weepy ones, which would be pretty much anything she's ever sung.

My dear brother Jonny and his beloved, Meilani, are moving. At this point, they have moved. Rather, they have left; departed with a trailer full of mostly unnecessary belongings, and their bunny, to the locale of Toronto. Toronto, Canada. A 38-hour drive away, according to maps, which means probably 48 hours with a trailer, and 96 hours if there were children involved. There are not, unless they impregnate themselves along the way, which I have strongly urged them to do.

#stay warm

For many years, I have told my siblings:

I want you to be where you need to be. I always want you geographically close, but more importantly, I want you to be where you need to be, to follow your dreams and the path to achieving your dreams, and sometimes that means sacrifices that take you physically away from your family. But you gotta do it. 

And I will support those decisions even when they're painful. And this was so painful. And when I say was, what I mean is...is. Will be. I'm still in denial and it hasn't really sunk in yet. It will.

I don't know the number of times Jonny and I have talked on average per day for the last decade, and I don't know the average length of those different conversations, but they would be interesting numbers to analyze.

Little tiny talks, many many times, most frequently about mundane topics that have no introduction and no ending and generally conclude with abrupt:

Talk to you in five minutes.

Okay, love you, talk to you in four. 

Click.

Lots of little ones. Little, guilt-free, trivial conversations that have laid a bedrock for the occasional more substantive ones that deep-rooted relationships are built on.

It's so hard saying goodbye. I had to say goodbye to one of my other best friends several months ago, and her absence is still such a big hole. Now the hole's bigger.

#thatswhatshesaid #michaelscott Funny television to make me laugh even when I don't want to.

I've always been pretty good at making goals and finding little things to look forward to. I've lost some of that skill though. Trying to get it back.

It's a cliche that 'change is hard.' But I think the hardest kind of change to face is when everything seems to be changing around you and you want to change, but the brutal heel of reality makes the steps toward active change seem so difficult and almost impossible.

I do believe in that idea that you absorb the mores, attitudes, philosophies, etc. of the six people or so you spend the most time around. That's a powerful concept, and a lot to unwrap. The influence of those you're surrounded by.

Who will step in?

Or, who will I find to step in?

Or, will I wait for someone to step in, or will I charge ahead, facing change, finding the track back to dreams I've had, continuing to assist in others' actively along the way?

I hope that one. I'll try. It's hard, when you love someone so much to let them go and face their dreams. I wanna be a support system, a cheerleading squad; I wanna build the best thing possible from afar, and hope that it'll be near again soon.

There's not some big inspiring wrap-up to this. Change happens. You either flight it, fight it, or accept it. Or ignore it.

I'm proud of those who charge forward and make change happen. Thanks for being an influence on my life and others and carpe dieming the flipping lights out of life.

Anyway. All the love. Thanks ahead of time to the Postal Service, Pony Express, and FaceTime. And cheap airline tickets.

- Josef.

THE DAY IS WRONG.

The mountain is dead
Little exaggeration
But it feels empty.

The roads we have run
Trails we have walked often
It is too quiet.

Upside down today
The day is leaving, like you
Days come around though.

Sun comes tomorrow
That’s good I guess, for the heat
Heart weight big today.

Change is tough, and dumb
But it’s good I hear, painful
And tears are not bad.

Streaked cheeks meant you love
To know how much, good thing,
I can imagine.

Mountain floats away
Isn’t anchored without you
But it will balance.

With a little time
A lot of time, memories
Stories in its earth.

Always missed, you all
You all have a hill, and hearts
With spaces waiting here.

You will find more hills
And mountains and trees; a home
Happy home you’ll have.

We will see you there
Six hours, road trip, coffee stops
Leave a light on late.

May goodness and fun
And fresh experiences
Brighten your new town.

We will text, phone, fax
And come visit, sometime soon
The mountain is sad.

It will be happy
Again, but today is wrong
Mountain’s not right.

The night will roll on
And the day will start again
New lives will begin.

Photos to be shot
Memories to be made lots
New discoveries.

This is sad, but not
It is, but it will dissolve
Into happiness.

But tonight, sad hill
You’re missed, loved, remembered lots
The day is wrong now.

A day askew, tears.
A mountain, real off balance
A moon, pale and sick.

The sun is coming
And winter too, it’s pretty
Thanks for the years, you.

Real good times, lots, yes
Equilibrium we’ll find
A new normal, yep.

Remember the years,
Sometimes remember; thank you
And we love you lots.

Nighty night, Joe peeps
May your slumber be peaceful
And your days real fine.

We’ll anchor things here
So the mountain is ready
When you come again.

The day sunshiney
The hill in place again firm
Always a light on.

So the day is wrong
But you are strong, so are we
Trying hard to be.

Happy we are, most
For your new fun times ahead
Best for you, the best.

The mountain is here
So are we; maybe halfway
We can meet someday?

Until then, say ‘onward!’
Best of all to you, the best
Do well, smile, eat lots.

We’ll see ya real soon
On mountain, or somewhere else
It’ll be real great.

With high affection
We send everything good
To you all, much love.

From our mountain high
To you in Joseph, your home
We love you so much.

MY FAVOURITE LIBRARIAN.

Right before our first child was born, I told our families, "...I don't like all this 'I'm gonna be favourite uncle, favourite auntie' stuff I keep hearing from people. I know it's said to be funny, but guess what? Some of you are going to see our daughter more frequently, others less so. This whole "am I your favourite uncle/aunty?" thing starts off funny, but eventually feelings start getting hurt. Thank you for loving her already and being an important part of her world, now it would be awesome if we can all can build the best thing possible with her that is unique."

Unique. I've held to that through the births and development of our other children. The idea of building relationships that are unique and special, not better. Do some end up stronger than others? Do some end up deep and frequent and embedded? Do our kids gravitate to some family more than others over shared interests, personalities, and familiarity?

Yes, certainly yes. That's how life is. But we have never referred, or tolerated the idea of some relatives or family being referred to 'as favourites,' even in jest. Because again, those jests are a short distance away from cutting deep eventually. The types of cuts that can lead to resentment, jealousy, hurt, and the devaluation or damaging of relationships.

We're all hypocrites, of course.

My favourite librarian is leaving.

My sister-in-law. More than a sister-in-law and more than a librarian, but those are good starting titles.

I am a hypocrite. Because she is my favourite.

I love our little community library for many reasons. The books. The environment. The employees. A peculiar, odd, unique little public library.

And she is my favourite. Technically, she's not a librarian, per se. She is a library assistant / supervisor (Librarian is a term generally denoting the director of the branch and is a specialized and specific degree...I think). But since the article says 'librarian,' and I've referred to her as such accidentally and not over the years, I'll continue to use it here.

I have watched and marveled at her patience, kindness, and genuine affection for patron after patron who comes in. Anyone who thinks public libraries aren't relevant today hasn't spent time in one. You want a cross-section of humanity? Go hang out for a couple hours. The academics, the homeless, the cultured, the students, the kids, the parents, the teens, the city employees, the millennials, the elderly, the infirm, the thinkers and makers and adventurers and discoverers and inventors and wanderers and wonderers and...

they're all there, with their infinite personalities and questions.

And time and time again, she helped with a smile. A real smile. I think of the many times after work, outside work, where she would affectionately refer to different experiences or interactions and her love for her job and the people who inhabited and passed through. To say nothing of the joy she passed along at being able to talk about and recommend books across genres. It was real. A real and true investment of pride and love that she made for sixteen years.

I remember when she was working hard to get a position within the library system. Working another full-time paid job, doing unpaid volunteer time at the library to get hours, going sunup to sundown to pursue her dream of working there. And then she did, and has left a mark, and is leaving for another dream.

I'll go back. But she has been such a joyful and vibrant presence for so many years that...it's gonna be hard.

I will go back. But I'll have to work up to it. And it's gonna take time.

Au revoir, Rach. Thanks for your service, always with a smile, and frequently accompanied by humorous banter, witty observations, and interesting recommendations.

You were my favourite.

MINISTER OF SOMETHING.

This one time Jeremy and I went out to breakfast. We ran into some other people. You know, if Jeremy ran for President against Tom Hanks, I'd probably vote for Tom, but I would strongly be in favor of Jeremy being Secretary of State. Or Minister of War.

MARCHING IN MY HOMETOWN.

Honored to march in my little hometown with some of my faves, and in solidarity and support with many others across the country.

Never too young to stand, at least metaphorically. Some people are, quite literally, not able to stand yet. In that case, we can still help each other out.

Also, had a great conversation with the children afterwards about what it means when people driving by wave with their middle finger. One of the fellows next to me said it well:

"It means you just smile even bigger to the next person going past!"

LET THERE BE BLOODS.

BLOODS.* double-helix sharing ferocities; sometimes fighting with, often fighting for, back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back through everything. by my side, in my heart, sevenstrong. Forever. ____ *a phrase borrowed from other beloved brother Bobby James; where he pillaged it from I do not know. But I love it. ____ #siblings #flyviewaerial #pnw #selfportrait

A post shared by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on Dec 31, 2016 at 4:34pm PST

BLOODS.*

double-helix sharing ferocities;
sometimes fighting with, often fighting for,
back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back through everything.
by my side,
in my heart,
sevenstrong.

Forever.

____

*a phrase borrowed from other beloved brother Bobby James; where he pillaged it from I do not know. But I love it.

I AM BOOK.

First off, thanks to Sharika for the Echo Donut Lounge recommendation! Been there twice now; love the space and the people
Second, my mom came up with the great idea, while we were coffee-ing and donut-ing, to each choose a book on the shelf that best described us. We approached this task with thoughtfulness and careful deliberation.

BICYCLE RACE.

Art School, minus grades and clear delineations of student/teacher roles, where beards are optional and perfection frowned on. Draw on. 

Fashion changes. Style is forever.

ICE BUCKET: JONNY & FIERY CHARIOTS.

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10152614434355569&set=vb.517175568&type=2&theater

BIRTHDAY: MDL #7.

1.

Why are you staring at me like I'm the birthday girl?

she asked.

Because,

I said.

You ARE the birthday girl. Literally. It is your birthday.

I know.

she said.

But you're staring at me. Can we go to Powell's now since it's my birthday?

Could we possibly wait,

I asked,

until I've gotten dressed, and possibly until it actually opens?

Fine.

she said with resignation.

2.

Who did you guys FaceTime without my permission?

I said, storming into the bathroom to find our son on the toilet with iPad in his lap, chatting away while his techno-Svengali sister stood by with a satisfied smile.

Daddy!

he shrieked.

Please leave! We're having a conversation with Uncle Jonny, and it's like the best conversation ever!

His sister confirmed this assertion.

He tilted the screen my way, and yes, my brother's face filled the screen as he also confirmed this. I shook my head, crossed my fingers, and exited the best conversation ever, since I wasn't invited.

3a.

Okay dudes.

I said.

Let's grab some lunch.

But Daddy!

she pleaded.

Can we please go to the library first? It's the most important thing in the world to me.

I sighed, and headed to Don Pedro's for burritos.

3b.

Our son, who has shown total disgust and disinterest in ever watching any kind of sports, sat in our booth with eyes glued to the station broadcasting the World Cup match between Argentina and The Netherlands. In Spanish.

I'm going for the Orange team.

he announced in his little megaphone voice.

Orange is The Netherlands.

I said.

Yeah. I'm going for them.

He proceeded to provide a lively play-by-play that provided little* in the way of relevant information about the action, but did provide a certain clarity regarding his philosophies on a number of things, including optimal uniform colours, injuries that could potentially dismember an athlete, sports that involve kicking versus throwing, the quality of his bean and rice burrito, and the issue whether or not any of the players were evil. Nowhere in his discourse, however, was there any acknowledgment or discussion of the fact that the television commentary was in Spanish; a language he has not yet learned fluently.

Unless...his sister has been teaching him behind our backs...

4a.

Daddy,

she said.

I would rather have books than food.

Really?

I said.

Yes,

she said.

I wish we lived in a library.

4b.

How much would it cost to buy Powell's?

she asked. 

I wish we could live there. More than a hundred dollars?

Yes.

I said.

More than a hundred.

More than a thousand?

Yes.

I said.

More than a thousand.

More than a million?

Yes. 

I said.

More than a million. Maybe...50 million?**

Well.

she said.

Can you work harder so you can make fifty million dollars and then we can buy Powell's and live there?

Problem is,

I said.

I don't think it's for sale.

5. RECAP.

We made it to Powell's, where she whittled down her stack to...one, which she purchased herself and left with $1.01 in change, which is a small but not insignificant step toward $50 million.

Then we made it to the library, where I used my VIP pass to get us in for free, and we somehow exited with enough books to probably, should we sell them on eBay***, provide a big chunk of the 50 million $s.

But like I said, I don't know that Powell's is actually for sale. Cross your fingers for us.

____

UPDATE:

-Argentina, sadly, won.

-after she whittled down her book choices to ONE, her uncle (Jonny) picked up several of her precious alternates for her; a gift that was received with enthusiasm for three seconds and then headlong focus as she dived into them. 

____

*nothing

**off the top of my head - I have no idea. Anyone?

***which we would, of course, not do ever

BIRTHDAY WISHES.

Lee Long.

Happy birthdaY MDL "Claire". You're one of the funniest, most witty , smartest, sweetest people I know. I love you!

Sue Long.

Night night sweet daughter of yours and granddaughter of mine! I hope it was the perfect birthday, x's 7! I smiled every time I thought of her and am SO lucky to be her Gramma Susie. I look forward to hearing all about your Powell's Adventure, and the rest of the day. Hugs again, mixed with love! xoxo

HERE IS ADVICE.

I know parents who, after consulting the experts, have very carefully spaced their children out to ensure the right amount between each.

There is nineteen years between me and my youngest sister, who is now a senior in high school. Next month she graduates.

She called me this afternoon and asked if we could hang out. So we spent the afternoon caving*, along with my children and other friends (thank you, Trevor and Tina for putting it together).

My sister, in the final weeks of her final year, surrounded by any number of social options and friends, spent the afternoon with. Me. Us.

A lot of my disinterest in the dynamics of age disparity in friendships and relationships come from having the siblings I do. Almost twenty years apart; half my age, and this is what we got. Different lives, different priorities, different goals and friends and viewpoints, but always a rock-solid love of just being able to hang out, have good conversation, and laugh loud. I have known this person her entire life; her entire childhood, but I don't recall there ever being a specific point where I thought: "now we can be friends." It seems like it's always been that way. 

You are so rad, Lanessa Long. When I am a hundred, you will be only eighty-one, so hopefully you'll still have your drivers license, because I'm sure mine will have been confiscated decades before at that point. Or, we could just get Segways.

A good day. Thanks for hanging out.

MEILANI #24

Steve, Colette, Meilani, Jonny / photo: joseph ivan long ©2013

I remember the first time I met her. At an ice skating rink. She was about fifteen.

Nine years later, and I am so glad she is my vivacious, mischievous, one-of-a-kind sister-in-law. What a great addition to the family.

Happy b-day, Meilani.

RETURNING FROM BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION (SEE ABOVE) TWO HOURS AFTER BEDTIME. WITH SCIMITAR AND GRANDFATHER.

PERSONS OF INTEREST.

FIVE SONGS I WILL ALWAYS ASSOCIATE WITH MY BROTHER JONNY.
1. Faithfully / Journey
2. I'll Be Your Shelter / Taylor Dayne
3. All My Life / K-Ci & JoJo
4. You're the Best / Joe Esposito (from the Karate Kid soundtrack)
5. Any power ballad that requires a voice able to reach the upper-upper octaves; a feat Jonny is usually willing to attempt in a sing-along. Respect.

Adorable, both.

Taking joy in living is a woman's best cosmetic. 
- Rosalind Russell, actress, who was also one of seven children.
____


(look at these people. man. they are beautiful. they must use the right cosmetic.) 

Merry, jolly, tuba-listening Christmas buddies.

FIVE THOUGHTS ON WRAPPING GIFTS, AND HOW TO GET A FREE MACBOOK PRO.

1. Forget perfection. If you have children, let them help. Even if there's ones they DON'T help out on, you can always blame shoddy work on them. I certainly do.

2. One Christmas, I bought my sister the soundtrack to Sister Act on cassette. Or maybe it was Roxette. Anyway, I wrapped it in a huge appliance box, surrounded by newspaper, and then stuck some bricks in for extra heft and anticipation. It took forever to unwrap, and the final unveiling was dictionary definition of Russian doll anticlimactic. Hilarious to no one except me, and everyone else there.

3. Why buy? Comic books, newspapers, burlap, duct tape, paper bags, old books, string, twenty dollar bills...the possibilities for an inimitable and memorable wrapping job are infinite.

4. My family is a very giving family, and has always looked for excuses to pile up as many presents as possible under the tree. Even when that means wrapping up someone's old dirty shoes and gifting them to a loved one. Sometimes, it's what's on the outside that counts.

5. One of my favourite memories is witnessing the exultation of my brother Jamey when he unwrapped a terribly-wrapped gift to find a brand-new laptop inside. It was a present from our brother Jeremy. Jamey's exultation was short-lived, as it turned out that Jeremy had found (other brother) Jonny's laptop laying around, appropriated it, and re-gifted it to Jamey. Truly from the heart. 

(Note: I do not recall which brothers were involved precisely. It was some combination of the above, I think. Could have been any one of them. Might have been Josh. Regardless of the details: brilliant.)

Happy wrapping, and make a mess!

JUST ANOTHER CHRISTMAS-TREE HUNTING EXPEDITION.

shot with a Gorillapod :)

Ran into some old friends at a Christmas tree farm recently. Merry holiday, Alvarezes and Hills!

TRIBUTE TO CORMAC.

“You have my whole heart. You always did.” 

- Cormac McCarthy

I love these people; it is not difficult.

THANKSGIVING DAY.

01. 
I might post stuff here today that I'm thankful for. Let's see, umm...I'm glad for Sherlock Holmes, and that there's finally some decent interpretations of the A. Conan Doyle classics on the screen. That's all I can think of currently to be thankful for. Now I have to go wrestle a trio of harmonicas away from children that seem to have a decibel level approaching a front row Who concert.
Maybe I'll think of something else soon.

02. HERB ALPERT.

I am thankful for things I don't miss until I don't have them, like whipped cream. I was planning on enveloping the top of my coffee this morning with three inches of Mt. Everest aerosol deliciousness, and then realised I wasted it on hot chocolate for the children yesterday. So we don't have any, and the day is ruined. I am thankful for what I dreamed of having, so at least I can cling to that.

03. ATLAS THE CUDDLY.
I love having six siblings who are snuggly. I can snuggle up with any and all of them anytime, even though all my little brothers are bigger than me now. And one of my sisters has bigger feet. We are hands-on, hug tight, snugglybuggly brothers and sisters and I LOVE IT, even when some of them smell horrid occasionally. Okay. Done with the cutesy stuff for a few minutes.


Happy day, all.

04. DUKE VS. COUNT.

I am thankful for record players, which force you to listen to albums in sequence and try to appreciate the original sequencing of an artist, and that make you get up to change them halfway through, and serve as a reminder to be gentle with things. Every time I go over to change my well-worn Duke Ellington / Count Basie vinyl, I mark off another 100 calories burned. That's the analogue advantage talking there. I should start Strava-ing my record-changing.

05. CHEF CHIEF.
I am thankful for my Dad, who modeled for his boys the importance of real men helping out in the kitchen, and who loves Christmas music more than anyone I know, and who has the loudest laugh on the Oregon Coast.

06.
I am thankful for buddies far away that I see infrequently, but can pick up the phone and be deep in conversation about art, literature, and music in a heartbeat. People like Jonathan Ponder. Happy day, buddy. Hope you're listening to some good tunes today.

Jonathan Ponder Thanks, man! I'm thankful for you as well--your zest, vigor, creativity, playfulness, intentionality, and care are all things to be admired and valued and thankful for. Soundtracked the drive from New York City to Lowell, Mass. today with Bruce Springsteen's Greatest Hits, The Beatles Mono Masters Disc Two, and Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone read by Jim Dale. Happy Thanksgiving!

November 28 at 5:12pm · Like

07. VONNEGUT WAS VEGAN?
I am thankful for articulate visionaries like

Tolkien,
Lewis,
Heinlein,
Clarke,
Asimov,
Vonnegut,
Alexander.

Creators of stories and worlds that convey deep truths and insights into humanity and possibility via narrative fiction. Tales full of adventure and discovery; stories that are magical, wondrous, and entertaining on the surface, yet often deeply moving, relevant, and thought-provoking underneath.

Thank you. I wish you could join me for Thanksgiving dinner. I should warn you that I'm vegetarian.

08. 
I'm thankful for my Mom. She was around when I was born, and I'll always be appreciative of that.


Also, she says stuff to us (her kids) all the time like "I'm so proud of the kind, thoughtful, and successful person you've become," which is sometimes not always completely one-hundred percent of the truth. But then it kind of makes you want to live up to that, so it starts becoming a little more true. Wow, she is a clever one, now that I think about it. 

09.
Us, and a pink sword.
Thanksgiving 2013.

Thanks for snapping, Vicki.

A VERY SHORT INTERVIEW WITH MY THREE-YEAR OLD SON ABOUT HAYLEY MILLS, ETC.

(We have started watching the 1965 classic That Darn Cat this week. The following is in reference to this film.)

1. What is this film about?
- "It's about kidnappers. And lots of people who are good."

2. What have you learned from watching it?
- "I learned that kidnappers are not actually good. They're actually bad."

3. What is a good name for a police officer or FBI agent?
- "Umm....Bob. Or President Lincoln."

4. What do you want to be when you grow up?
- "A monster. So I can scare people. ROARRR!"

5. What are your favourite films?
- "Shrek. And...Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Karate Kid.* I like it when Shrek is fighting the kitty cat and he knocks the guns out of the soldiers' hands.

6. Do you like Hayley Mills?
- "Yep. And her sister. I like her lipstick and her sweater.

Right on. 
____
*the latter two mirrors his older sister's list, which she stated approximately six seconds before he did.

And I love Hayley Mills too. So adorable.

HOMAGE TO DEVOTCHKA AND DICK VAN DYKE.
I have started taking my children's keyboard with me everywhere, so we are always prepared to make music. It is perfect while waiting in line, and I think people will really grow to appreciate it. I wish the built-in speakers were louder. See you on the street; we're the Music People.

Triplets Minus One

Some of the Longs, plus Enrique Gomez and the Labonte family

Met one of the greatest little families recently. In the course of hanging out, I asked the boy how old he was. Turns out he's six. Same age as our daughter. So of course I asked when his birthday was. Turns out he turned six in July. Like our daughter. So then, of course, we had to find out what DAY in July. Turns out his birthday is July 9.

Exactly like our daughter.

After further dialogue with his mom, who remembers his birth more vividly than him, it turned out that he is a few hours older than our daughter. So I have been referring to them as the Long Lost Twins.

They were SUCH good sports when I asked them to let me snap off a few shots. Thank you, Nolan and Magdelana. You are kind, enthusiastic, stunning specimens of the human species. May our paths cross again very soon.