NOTHING SAYS CHRISTMAS LIKE...HARMONICAS.

There is nothing that symbolizes the holiday season like playing harmonica in the rain with siblings and cousins.

Unless you have a kazoo or tuba. Those are the only two things that could possibly be better.

THANK YOU TEDDY, NANCY, AND FRIENDS.

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This could be any number of things other than what it is. Thank you, thank you, thank you to the people and organizations, like #friendsofthegorge and #nancyrussell and #teddyroosevelt who have helped set aside land to be what it is for today and tomorrow: wilderness. Available for humans to enjoy and interact with respectfully. For us now and for the children of our children’s children and beyond. Thank you. Thank you! ___ #columbiagorge #44pacificnwplaces #childreninthewilderness #44children #pnwonderland @countessbecca @gorgefriends

THE DAY IS WRONG.

The mountain is dead
Little exaggeration
But it feels empty.

The roads we have run
Trails we have walked often
It is too quiet.

Upside down today
The day is leaving, like you
Days come around though.

Sun comes tomorrow
That’s good I guess, for the heat
Heart weight big today.

Change is tough, and dumb
But it’s good I hear, painful
And tears are not bad.

Streaked cheeks meant you love
To know how much, good thing,
I can imagine.

Mountain floats away
Isn’t anchored without you
But it will balance.

With a little time
A lot of time, memories
Stories in its earth.

Always missed, you all
You all have a hill, and hearts
With spaces waiting here.

You will find more hills
And mountains and trees; a home
Happy home you’ll have.

We will see you there
Six hours, road trip, coffee stops
Leave a light on late.

May goodness and fun
And fresh experiences
Brighten your new town.

We will text, phone, fax
And come visit, sometime soon
The mountain is sad.

It will be happy
Again, but today is wrong
Mountain’s not right.

The night will roll on
And the day will start again
New lives will begin.

Photos to be shot
Memories to be made lots
New discoveries.

This is sad, but not
It is, but it will dissolve
Into happiness.

But tonight, sad hill
You’re missed, loved, remembered lots
The day is wrong now.

A day askew, tears.
A mountain, real off balance
A moon, pale and sick.

The sun is coming
And winter too, it’s pretty
Thanks for the years, you.

Real good times, lots, yes
Equilibrium we’ll find
A new normal, yep.

Remember the years,
Sometimes remember; thank you
And we love you lots.

Nighty night, Joe peeps
May your slumber be peaceful
And your days real fine.

We’ll anchor things here
So the mountain is ready
When you come again.

The day sunshiney
The hill in place again firm
Always a light on.

So the day is wrong
But you are strong, so are we
Trying hard to be.

Happy we are, most
For your new fun times ahead
Best for you, the best.

The mountain is here
So are we; maybe halfway
We can meet someday?

Until then, say ‘onward!’
Best of all to you, the best
Do well, smile, eat lots.

We’ll see ya real soon
On mountain, or somewhere else
It’ll be real great.

With high affection
We send everything good
To you all, much love.

From our mountain high
To you in Joseph, your home
We love you so much.

FAVES. (in which I ponder some favourite things while hunting and illegally going back for seconds on free hot chocolate).

FAVES. (in which I ponder some favourite things while hunting and illegally going back for seconds on free hot chocolate) Adventure minus maps She & Him's silver bells and ten-minute power naps Calder, Norm Rockwell; Pacific swell, Carol of the Bell, the dad William Tell, evergreen smell. Those with spark and song Wild spirit King Kong The invention of quests Rachmaninov, reading without rests These peeps surrounding, def some of my bests. ____ #christmas2016 #washougal #44washougalcamas #hunting #vegetarians #pnwonderland #longx4

A post shared by Joseph Long (@josephivanlong) on Dec 6, 2016 at 9:19pm PST

(in which I ponder some favourite things while hunting and illegally going back for seconds on free hot chocolate)

Adventure minus maps
She & Him's silver bells and ten-minute power naps

Calder, Norm Rockwell;
Pacific swell, Carol of the Bell, the dad William Tell, evergreen smell.

Those with spark and song
Wild spirit King Kong

The invention of quests
Rachmaninov, reading without rests
These peeps surrounding, def some of my bests.

IN WHICH THE SUN.

                                   PJ Harvey                                        Nick Cave                    

                    John                                                      Lou                                       David

                    Buckethead         Duff          Steven    Axl             Slash

AND THE SKY WAS BLUE.

VIDEO GAMES.

Playstation (Deluxe Classic Edition with Unlimited Bonus Levels*).

Washougal River / ©2015 Joseph Ivan Long

*until bedtime

EXPLORATIONS: CAPE KIWANDA, KHAL.

Albert Einstein, Albert Schweitzer, Isaac Newton, Fred Jones, Steven Spielberg, and Genghis Khan, as well as Khal Drogo, were all children once too.

And some of them probably played on the beach. I hope Einstein did.

The ways in which childhood shapes every person differently.

I'm considering writing an unauthorized novel about a young Marlon Brando and the summer he visited his great-uncles at the seashore.

This is the book cover. Now I just need to write the book.

NEAKUC

NEAKUC (Ninja Exploration, Art, and Karate Undertakings* Collective).
*I just needed another vowel

THE LITERARY LIFE.

Powell's Books / ©2015 Joseph Ivan Long

NINETEEN YEAR-OLD POSING WITH TINY PEOPLE.

This is a posed photograph.
Bam.
Nailed it.
I believe I may have some interesting ideas for adding some
pizzaz to wedding photography, were I to pursue that as a venture.

LAY VS. LIE?

One of the greatest gifts you can give someone is the gift of stealthily lying in wait, then scaring the living daylights out of them.


It will remind them that they're alive.

GUEST PHOTO: GANG AFTER SWIM LESSONS.

Such a small, subtle, unassuming group of angels.. I'm certain no one heard or noticed them at all ‪#‎lovethistribe‬ @wandervogelsoul @josephivanlong @countessbecca

photo: Sharika Kim

CHORES AND THIRD TIME'S A CHARM.

I don't really feel like doing chores. 
he said.
Can I lay down on the couch...just for a little bit?

Okay.
I said.
Just for a little bit. The chores are waiting.
____

RITUAL, OR, LOU GEHRIG (ICE, ICE, BUDDY).
Buddy,
I said.
In response to your question: no. We are not doing the ice bucket challenge right before bed.

Okay Daddy,
he said.
Can I please have a cup of water?

Sure.
I said, not connecting the dots.
And brought him his cup.
With water.

I waited, absentmindedly, for him to drink it, and realised nanoseconds too late that his intent was never to drink it. With a deft turn of the wrist and sharp intake of breath, he turned the cup upside down and immolated himself. With water. Sans ice.

Yes, pre-emptive ha-ha. He now has a waterbed.

Incidentally, it appears that my turn may be coming - does anyone, perchance, have a horse and chariot I could borrow for a short video tomorrow evening? Preferably, a stallion that's very wild and untamed, but that's okay with pulling a chariot and doing whatever I ask him to?*

Thanks. It will be for a good cause. Sleep dry tonight, all.

*within reason**
**what a normal person*** might consider "reasonable"
***me

MR. JONES.

I say it's time to reboot the Young Indiana Jones franchise.

CHARGE!
Carpe diem is so last century.

According to Google, "attack the day" is expressed as:

"Impetum facturus est hodie."

Especially if you have nunchaku sticks with you. 

Hand-crafted on the fly by my inimitable little big brother.

Go attack, with a roar and friendly smile. 

ANGER MANAGEMENT, OR, WHAT DOESN'T COMES AROUND AT BLUE STAR DONUTS.

In the past, my son has had some creative ways of taking out his frustration when he gets upset:

- curling up on the floor and going to sleep
- closing his eyes and pretending to sleep 
- running to his bedroom, dramatically flinging himself on the bed and announcing loudly that he's going to sleep

But I think my favourite has to be his latest move. I mortally wounded his feelings in some way recently at the dinner table*, and he hunched up his shoulders, walked over to the corner, dug up my little video camera, turned it on*, pointed it at me and proclaimed with righteous, furious authority,

"I am going to video you, Daddy!"

Which he then proceeded to do, in tandem with his sister, for the next three minutes.

Oh boy. At least they don't know how to upload yet.
____

*might have had something to do with my suggestion that perhaps his superhero pajamas were too filthy to wear to bed that particular night 

**with the assistance of his often-willing conspirator in activities of opposition to their parents

DANISH PRINCESS WITH BODYGUARDS.

food carts around SW 10th & Washington

THIRD EAR.
My sneaking suspicion that the children are not completely asleep has just been confirmed by a shrill flute melody blasting from bedroom. It sounds vaguely Christmas-y, so I guess we'll just let things play out.

SAD.

Blue Star Donuts / Portland, OR

Cross this off your bucket list: now you have seen the saddest picture in the entire world. 

Boo.

The Middle (A Visual Illustration of the Complicated Relationship Between Management and Labor)

On the Path to Self-Sufficiency (Guess Who Has the Cookie Book?)

My Old Friend in the Sky; Also, the Fair and the Chocolate Factory

I saw a cloud skip past today; it looked familiar. 

I examined it closely and realised it is one I waved to 25 years ago, when I was eleven. 

I did not even know this cloud was around still. Good to see you, old friend. You've aged well. Thanks for the shade, and travel well. Say hello to Copenhagen for me, if you make it that way.
____

Tribute to Veruca Salt (Sunday Night Cinema)

Step Right Up (Visual Depiction of a Tom Waits Song in Progress).

2016 Rio, or, Joseph vs. Hulk vs. Isaac Asimov Newton and Lemony Snicket

Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand
10.01 pm

For some stories, it's easy. The moral of 'The Three Bears,' for instance, is "Never break into someone else's house.' The moral of 'Snow White' is 'Never eat apples.' The moral of World War I is 'Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand.

Hard to disagree. Thanks, Lemony Snicket.

Rio 2016
10.01 am

Inexplicably, I feel great sadness at how long it is until the next Summer Olympics. I paid only token attention to London 2012, but woke up this morning and am oddly full-on enthusiastic about Rio 2016. Where do I go for press credentials?

Joseph vs. Hulk vs. Isaac Asimov Newton
4:54 pm

I asked: 
"Okay guys, who is stronger: me or Hulk?"

My son answered immediately: - "You!"

"Nope."
I said. "False."

My daughter thought briefly.
- "Umm...Hulk."

"Yes!"
I said. "So, lesson for the day is that family loyalty should not trump the truth. And the truth is that Hulk is marginally stronger than me. Do you know what 'marginally' means?"

- "No."

"It means "barely,' or 'a little.'
So Hulk is barely stronger than me. That's a version of the truth that I'd like to perpetuate. Do you know what 'perpetuate' means?"

- "No."

"It means 'to keep going.' But we'll talk about that one more tomorrow. Who do you think is smarter: me or Isaac Newton or Isaac Asimov?"

- "You?"
My son answered.

"Nope."
I said sadly.

"Not yet."

Evel Knievel. Karl Wallenda. Batman.
They all had to start somewhere. Steady son, steady. Don't look at the crocodiles below.

Pet Lions
If I had a pet lion,
I hope he wouldn't smoke.
Or her; maybe it would be a her.
Lionesses do most of the hunting,
and I doubt many of them use tobacco products.


Richard Scarry has got to be one of the coolest cats ever. What a legacy. Although I still don't think lions should be smoking.