Hiding

Earlier, I hid under the crib.

I would make a good sniper, except for the fact that I wear deodorant and prefer not to shoot people. 

I was gleefully hiding from Becca and Magdelana, who were laying on the bed next to the crib. Mags caught Becca up on the serialized story I have been telling over the past month that features a cast of colourful characters and their adventures in the southern France countryside.

Adrenaline. Anticipatory adrenaline leading up to the moment when I would burst out and surprise them, to screams and panic.

But then I got caught up listening to them chat, as Magdelana explained the particulars of each character and summarized my tale from the previous night:

So, he was called "Big Bad Wolf" when he blew the first two cottages down, but when he tried to blow the third one down then he blew too hard and he fell down and Mige´ rushed out to help him and she put a bandage on him and was really nice to him, and she told the piggies that they should just call him "Wolf" and not "Big Bad Wolf," and every single day Wolf and Lamaunje get nicer, and then Giant and Jack and Philippe are at the farmhouse...

I listened as Becca created a fresh story using these characters. Splendid job. Such a splendid job that it put both of them to sleep. Almost me too.

Finally crawled out, to Becca's sleepy surprise. Magdelana awoke enough to whisper,

Now it's Daddy's turn to snuggle with me.

So I did, feet crammed through bars on her mini-bed.

Anticlimactic. But still refreshing. Hiding teaches patience and an appreciation for anticipation. It is the antithesis of instant gratification.

Hiding is completely worthless by any time management or productivity standards: you are silently lying in wait for someone for no reason other than to find a perfect moment to pounce...and show that you think they're important enough to...take the time laying in wait hiding from them. It's a respect thing.

I suppose technically we are talking more about Spying than Hiding, as it is difficult to really hide from someone if they're not looking for you.

Hiding is beneficial in the same way that Playing is beneficial.

There is no reason behind it. You do it because it is fun and unnecessary and unquantifiable.

Tip: if you are hiding under a load of laundry, make sure it is a clean pile.

-excerpted from 1.26.11