Becca and I are such a good pair. We had a great run with the two of us. Just the two of us, for almost five years. Her, I like. Still.
I've always loathed "ball-and-chain" analogies when it comes to relationships. The whole idea of "you better do _____ now, while you're still young, before you get tied down, before you have the whole wife and family and job tying you down..."
Anyone who knows me knows my aversion to accepting "accepted protocols" and absorbing conventional wisdom about how to do this or that. So why would I approach marriage, or childrening, or my career any different?
My bride. My children. My family, they are a part of almost everything that is part of my life. When I got married, I didn't have some massive lifestyle shift. I continued doing the same things I did, but I added a constant partner into those activities, as well as adding some additional ones. Activities, not partners.
And then Magdelana, and now Johannes. My priorities may be reframed from a decade ago, but my interests, my lifestyle, and the type of person I am is still the same. They are a part of my world now. I make art, and Magdelana throws paint around with me. Editing or designing, Johannes hangs out in my lap. Night rolls around, Becca and I snuggle up for an episode of Big Love, Psych, or Globetrekker. Okay, when she falls asleep I may occasionally switch over to True Blood or Sons of Anarchy.
Also, Magdelana has been helping me mow. Sitting on my lap, with huge ear protectors and safety goggles, steering one-handed and helping me mow most of our 1.5 mowable acres. Maybe she will remember someday, and maybe she will not. I certainly will.
Point: I grow weary of so many people complaining about their kids, their spouses, their families, as if they were forced upon them. There is no idyllic existence 24/7 in any family, but when you make a choice, a pre-existing choice ahead of time to have fun with your family, to involve yourself in each other's lives and activities, then you prime yourself for successful, healthy relationships.
Successful, healthy relationships not only within your own family, but with the rest of the world.
I don't know who I am musing to...just chilling to Beach House while Becca and Johannes snore on the couch, and I wait for Magdelana to pop out of bed and come join us in the next hour.
Their Teen Dream from this year is a beautiful, hazysexy album of dreampop delights. Great for late summer evenings. And nights.
Also, we hit the zoo concert last Wednesday. Rocked hard to the gypsy electro-swing stylings of Parisian coolsters Caravan Parade. So good. One of the best outdoor shows we have ever seen. Danced the night away.
We bought a family pass to the Oregon Zoo this year. $130. One of the best investments we have made - it also gets us free admission to the Summer Concert Series every Wednesday evening. Families, food, music, dancing, great atmosphere. Blast.
I am highly enjoying your recent posts. Keep them coming.
ReplyDeleteAhhh. You make family life sound much less scary! Can't wait to do a zoo concert with your lovely family! Jodi
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