DR. JOSEPH HAS A NICE RING.

In case anybody is planning on doing anything dangerous in the Portland/Vancouver area in the near future, I would say go for it. I just earned my CPR and First Aid degree* and it's good for two years, so I should be able to handle pretty much any medical-type catastrophe. 

Correct me if I'm wrong**, but I think it's almost like being a doctor, except I'm not owned by a specific hospital or office, sort of like those independent contractors for theCIA, and unfortunately for legal reasons I can't refer to myself as "doctor." But I've definitely got the chest compression thing down, and man, they teach it better now than they used to.

30/2, 30/2. It's pretty much med school in four hours, without all the loans, technology, and clipboards.
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*paper card
**please don't