Five Things: the Countess Loses Another Race.

A. My wife ran in a race. She didn't win. We are all disappointed. Except her. 

B. I had a doughnut. 

3. We went to a lovely sandy river beach. With beautiful sunbeams showering us. My son found an ant by the public bathrooms and hung out there, playing in the shade. 

4. I had a great conversation with a guy named Patrick and his eight-year old son about music (Loggins & Messina, Steely Dan). They were skipping rocks and whittling spears on a little cove off the Columbia. 

V. I told my children a story in which I was the protagonist, and in which I was incredibly brave, and in which I leaped off a cliff, and their peals of laughter led me to believe they enjoyed it; a post-story discussion uncovered their mis- interpretation of the story, in which they decided I was very un-brave. That made me very sad. 

So, all in all, a horrid day. Thanks for asking.

The Art of the Deal
"Okay Daddy, I will give you a choice: you can either buy us doughnuts OR...you can tell us a story." 

Two hours later, as I finished off an apple fritter and responded to a Q&A regarding the murky details of my cliff-jumping tale of bravery, it dawned on me that I had gotten played. 

Never again, I vowed to myself, as we headed to the river, and then the playground.