I have a cookie please? Can we get a sample? Are these types of cookies good for my throat? Can we keep them in mind to buy? I really want to save up for a fire engine. Am I little or big? I'm scared of thunder and lightning but Sissy isn't. If I had a scimitar I would chop the lightning up. I sort of like soy milk, but mostly I like chocolate milk. When I'm six can I watch Batman? Hey! There's Despicable Me, we've only seen a preview, can I get it?"
- No.
"Okay, can we keep it in mind? Can I watch bad parts in movies when I'm three? Because I'm three now and if you're three then you're big. I wish I was a knight. My favourite kind of sword is a scimitar. Are burglars good or bad? I sort of like dolls. Can we get an American Girl toy? Can we keep it in mind? Hey! A dinosaur book! Spider-man drawing pencils! A bug set! Can we get them? ...
...or can we keep them in mind?"
- Yes.
I said, smiling.
We'll keep them in mind.
Happy Christmas, all. Be nice extra nice to people in long lines this week.
ABRAHAM HIPPOPOTAMUS LINCOLN LOG.
"Children,"
I began,"in a rare moment of niceness, I just want to tell you how much - "
My son cut me off aggressively.
"Daddy, please don't say 'thank you for being wonderful kids' again. I'm tired of you saying that. Please don't say that we're wonderful anymore."
His sister assented.
I returned to my quiet reverie of driving and listening to them play Twenty Questions in which the answer was frequently either a hippopotamus or Abraham Lincoln.
Happy Mondays.
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