A BILLION LITERATE SUPERMANS (REASON #7,431 CHILDREN ARE RAD. AS I LIKE TO SAY: THEY'RE ALMOST LIKE OUR FUTURE).
(composited from recent conversations with my son)
Daddy, can you go sew me some Batman pajamas now? Guess what I dreamed about? Warthogs. Can I eat a thousand cookies today, or a billion? Which one? Guess what? You're tiny, and I'm big. And Mama's a lot bigger than you because she's giant and you're little. She's really huge and you're the tiniest person in the world and I can defeat you a billion times. Can we go outside? I want to find a worm. Why don't worms have faces? I like Batman more than Superman. My Superman pajamas make my neck itch so I need Batman pajamas. Shall I look at a book on the potty? I like to, because it's really fun. When can I watch Spider-man...when I'm six or nine? Are we listening to Vivaldi? Can I draw in my bed after I go to bed? I'll just draw a thousand pictures, or a billion. I had a dream and I went hiking with Mama. Am I a good homo sapien? I'm still learning to like chips and tomatoes and spicy things. I don't really like Leonard Cohen; I'm still learning to like him. And I'm still learning to like the Beatles. Can I please have coffee cake? Guess what Daddy? Your Dad is the goodest person in the world. He's gooder than you. You're tiny and he's huge and he's good. Hey...I'm going to read a billion books today!
His sister:
You can't read.
(Beat).
Oh yeah. But if I could read, I would read a billion books today.
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