TARANTINO LULLABYES.

Daddy?
he asked.
Shall we build some swords when we get home?

Yeah.
I said.
Have I ever told you about Hattori Hanzō?

Yep.
he said.
Who is he?

Well.
I said.
He's not really real, but his character is a Japanese sword maker in a film and he makes incredible swords that are like no other sword.

Oh.
he said.
What film is it called?

The name of the film.
I said, gliding through a green light.
Is Kill Bill. And the woman who uses the sword is called The Bride and is very acrobatic and dresses in yellow.

Oh.
he said.
Daddy?

Yes?
I asked.

Daddy,
he said calmly.
Will you please stop talking about the movie because I don't want you to give everything away about what happens.

Oh buddy.
I said.
Good call on the spoilers. You know what?

What?
he said.

How about,
I said.
How about we wait a long, long time for you to see it, so we can make sure that you have plenty of time to remember to forget anything I just gave away. Deal?

Yeah.
he said.
But I still want to watch Star Wars for my next birthday.

Well.
I said truthfully.
I'm confident that George Lucas is going to come before Quentin Tarantino in your cinematic education.

Oh.
he said.
Who's Clint Uhn-tear-uh-teen-oh?

Oh look!
I said, pointing out the window.
A deer!

LINK: "FOUR WORDS ALL DADS OF DAUGHTERS NEED TO HEAR"

Love this article. Love. Short, simple articulation of an idea I agree strongly with. Summarizes well my loathing of archaic 'waiting with shotgun on porch' references and patronizing, patriarchal fears of all the things to dread in a daughter's future.

Thanks for the link, Annamae!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jeff-bogle/4-words-all-dads-of-daughters-need-to-hear_b_5695257.html

TOKYO SUMO CLUB (HOMAGE TO JAMES CLAVELL AND BETTY FRIEDAN).

"Daddy,"
my daughter asked.
"Why aren't there any girl sumo wrestlers?"

I thought briefly.

("For a long period of time, men called samurai followed a code of honor called bushido; this paralleled an era of isolationism and feudalism in which these male samurai warriors served powerful lords called daimyo, and this may have had a certain and frequent impact on the contemporary expectations of gender roles in modern Japan today; thus perhaps being an underlying cause for the dearth, or rather, total absence of female sumo wrestlers today.")

That is what I THOUGHT. Then I realised I was subconsciously pulling together the first several chapters of Shōgun, which I last read in 2003. So what I SAID may have been closer to something like this:

"Umm...hey, let's get a cookie!"

So we haven't yet finished the female sumo conversation, and she's too young to read James Clavell yet so maybe we'll just take a field trip to Tokyo next weekend and find someone who can satisfactorily answer this excellent question. 

Anyone wanna save us a long flight?

WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER NOW (REZNOR REMIX).
I've been thinking a lot about mistakes we've made as parents, like the time we let our kids eat chips and salsa in the car a couple weeks ago while driving, and how glad I am it was Becca's idea and not mine, so I guess it sort of wasn't so much my mistake; I guess we can all learn from those big mistakes and try to move on. 

GUEST POST: EXPOSED (JEREMY LONG)

Jeremy Long

November 4

JOSEPH LONG:EXPOSED

Earlier, I called my brother Joseph on the cell phone. Within 3.3 seconds, he hung up on me without an explanation, promising to promptly call me back. Since then, he has posted three lengthy anecdotes on Facebook.

YOU HAVE BEEN UNVEILED.

Sincerely,

Abandoned

365Unlike ·  · Share

• You, Jonny Long, Leanna Long Serrano, Sue Long and 32 others like this.
• 

  Alanna Augustin A travesty.

  November 4 at 6:10pm via mobile · Unlike · 2
• 

  Joseph Long What? I must have tried calling you at least 37 times!
  
  I suppose it is fruitless to tell you that my phone literally died mid-sentence.
  
  And that I have tried twice since. 
  
  Well played, Six. Looking forward to a very expensive cuppa coffee with you.

  November 4 at 6:41pm via mobile · Unlike · 5
• 

  Joseph Long ...two. And not lengthy. Lengthy is The Past is a Grotesque Animal or War &
  Peace.

  November 4 at 6:43pm via mobile · Unlike · 2
• 

  Joseph Long ...also, probably the best post title I've seen this month, and I am well-qualified to judge. Flamboyant and sensational.

  November 4 at 6:44pm via mobile · Like · 3
• 

  Spencer Tonack How interesting. I can't wait to see how this story plays out.

  November 4 at 10:55pm · Like

Drew Barrymore vs. My Mom, Plus: Girl on Bicycle

I miss the good old days of taking a family trip to the video store to search out a movie. You want to learn the art of compromise, negotiation, and learning how to work well with people? Go choose a movie together.

The B.R.A.T. Patrol or Parent Trap? The Court Jester or Dr. Syn: The Scarecrow of Romney Marsh? The Scarlet Pimpernel or Seven Brides for Seven Sisters? The Apple Dumpling Gang or Blade Runner?

Tough choices. And sometimes I don't want a billion choices on Netflix. And I don't want dozens of choices at Redbox. I want HUNDREDS of choices at a physical rental place where I can sneakily educate my kids about the fundamentals of good poster design and warn them not to look at bad movies like Firestarter like my mom did, even though it turned out she was wrong and it actually is kind of good. My kids deserve the right to prove me wrong someday.

And now they'll never get that chance.
____

Daughter of Non-Motorized Anarchy, with a Tinge of Law & Order.

I Bet She Better Not Forget (Again), But If She Does, I'll Hurry Up and Finish My Time Machine Yesterday

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