Showing posts with label Facebook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Facebook. Show all posts
6.25.2015
POLITICS: THE ANIMAL ALTER EGOS OF 2016 PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES.
I was watching an episode of Wild Kratts, and there was a cheetah, which made me think of how unlike a cheetah Jed Bush is, and so I put together a short list of what animal most closely represents each candidate this year. Most of my analysis is based on science, but there is a certain portion I've had to guess at, so I would advise a certain caution in treating this as anything more than a supplementary voting guide.
Vice President Joe Biden,
who is currently Vice President; a role which I feel uniquely qualified to assess after watching portions of both West Wing and Veep. Animal doppelgänger: Quokka, which is a cat-sized marsupial who enjoys smiling.
Jed Bush,
who has visited the White House.
Animal: Holstein cow.
Hillary Clinton,
who used to be almost-President.
Animal: Bonobo Ape. Interesting creatures and fascinating socio-familial interactions.
Ben Carson,
who used to be a Pediatric Neurosurgeon.
Animal: Bottlenose Dolphin, who sometimes can be very smart, depending on what task they're doing or what test they're taking.
Lincoln Chaffee,
who used to be Governor of Rhode Island, and has the most Presidential surname of all candidates.
He has dabbled in being a Republican, an Independent, and now a Democrat.
Animal: Golden Tortoise Beetle, whose colors fluctuate seasonally.
Ted Cruz,
who is distantly related to Penelope, or may not be, and who is from Texas. Favorite historical landmark: Great Wall of China. Also a Senator.
Animal: Cockatoo.
Jim Webb,
who used to be a Senator from Virginia, and possibly considers the diminutive former NBA leapfrog Spud to be a friend and family member. Not confirmed.
Animal: Red Squirrel, which is native to Scotland.
Rick Perry,
who is former Governor of Texas - there's also a Rick Parry from New Zealand who plays ice hockey, but I think that's not the one who's running, although perhaps he ought. Former Governor Perry is allegedly no relation to Ted Cruz or Richard Nixon, so we will shut that rumor mill down right now. If he had been around during the French Revolution, he would likely have been volunteering to run the guillotine. Again, conjecture.
Animal: Hairy-legged Vampire Bat. Normally they're native to South America, but one made its way up to Texas. Truth.
Carly Fiorina,
who was a former CEO of Hewlett-Packard, apparently a company that does something with computers (disclosure: I use Macs). Also, I have confirmed, via Internet, that she is not a close relative to Carla Gugina, the mom from Spy Kids and Lily from Sin City; two films which have nothing to do with politics, therefore there's no point in discussing them. She is 5'4". Again, that is Carla Gugino. I have no idea how tall Ms. Fiorina is, and it doesn't matter. Not relevant. Apparently Ms. Gugino also appeared in the disaster film San Andreas, but I have not yet screened it, so I cannot say whether it is relevant to politics or not. It probably is not. I do not know if Carly Fiorina has seen it, because she is busy running for office. Which is not to say Carla Gugino is not not busy acting, because that is a taxing occupation as well. In fact, if you wanted to write her in as a candidate, you probably could.
Animal: Anglerfish.
Bernie Sanders,
who is still a Senator from Vermont, and does not sport an earring.
Animal: Bull African elephant. They live alone.
Donald Trump.
(no relevant information available).
Animal: Congo Peacock.
Marco Rubio,
who is currently a Senator from Florida.
Animal: Gopher Tortoise. They can actually burrow into tunnels and holes forty feet long, and that are wide enough to turn around in!
Martin O'Malley,
who used to be a Governor of Maryland. He also plays the banjo and his middle name is Joseph.
Animal: Deer.
Bobby Jindal,
who is apparently still the Governor of Louisiana, although a current 31% approval rating might be evidence that his mind is elsewhere.
Animal: possibly a Ferret or a Rabbit. One of them is really good at doing cool tricks if you train them right. I don't remember which one.
John Kasich,
current Governor of Ohio, a state which inexplicably is home to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Animal: Baltimore Checkerspot. A butterfly.
Chris Christie,
who is Governor of New Jersey, and distant relative(?) of Kevin James, but this is not confirmed. Middle name: unknown; possibly Kris?
Animal: Wild Boar, possibly caged.
Rand Paul,
who is a Senator from Kentucky. No relation to L. Ron Hubbard that has been proven. Father: Ron Paul. Apparently has a short temper, which is understandable, considering the frequency with which he likely gets confused with iconic graphic designer Paul Rand. Sometimes he is Libertarian; a word which has a lot of letters in common with "Librarian," but which is not apparently related.
Animal: Wolverine.
Paul Rudd,
who has appeared in many American films, and currently has announced no plans to run. There is no evidence to suggest he will, or that he has any interest, which is a shame, because he is certainly one of the top three actors between 30 and 50 in the world not named Matt Damon.
Animal: probably most like a human. Note: I know he's a human. I just think he's a really good example of a human.
Scott Walker,
who is currently a Governor of Wisconsin, if he is not impeached, which there is no reason he should be, unless he has done something reprehensible and illegal that would be cause for him to be impeached, but he probably hasn't, so there is no reason to think he will be, and thus a moot point and no need to bring it up. He does not get very many Christmas cards from Wisconsin unions.
Animal: maybe an animal that hunts Beavers or Eastern Cottontail Rabbits? I was going to look up ones that do this, but got lazy.
Rick Santorum,
who is male, and also a former Senator from New York. He is not afraid to wear a bold tie and won the silver medal in the 2012 Republican Primary.
Animal: maybe a Rain Forest type of Bird? But one that's in a zoo.
____
I apologize for the brevity of this post, but ideally the candidate field will Darwin itself to a point where I can talk a little more in depth about each one, and possibly chat in person with them, as I have a lot of questions I'd like to ask, such as this one:
"What's your favorite magic trick?"
Regardless of how the candidate answers, I would then pounce on them, like this: If they didn't have a favorite trick, I would aggressively question their commitment to representing America, in which Magicians make up twelve percent of the population*, and if they answer with what their favorite trick is, then I would aggressively question how they manage their time, if they are able to simultaneously run for President and be obsessed with magic.
Those are the kinds of trick questions I'm interested in being a part of; the kind that craftily tell you a lot about character, intellectual agility, and empathy.
In eternal vigilance of quackery, steampuffery, and buffoonery detection,
Joseph Long
*I might be confusing this fact with lefthanders, so don't quote me on this statistic in too many places.
UPDATE, PER WALTER COX.
Walter Cox Your bit on Santorum was a little light... Next time maybe google him perhaps? You'll learn *ALL*KINDS*OF*THINGS. Knowledge is power man, embrace its exploration.
Unlike · Reply · 2 · June 26 at 10:14pm
Vice President Joe Biden,
who is currently Vice President; a role which I feel uniquely qualified to assess after watching portions of both West Wing and Veep. Animal doppelgänger: Quokka, which is a cat-sized marsupial who enjoys smiling.
Jed Bush,
who has visited the White House.
Animal: Holstein cow.
Hillary Clinton,
who used to be almost-President.
Animal: Bonobo Ape. Interesting creatures and fascinating socio-familial interactions.
Ben Carson,
who used to be a Pediatric Neurosurgeon.
Animal: Bottlenose Dolphin, who sometimes can be very smart, depending on what task they're doing or what test they're taking.
Lincoln Chaffee,
who used to be Governor of Rhode Island, and has the most Presidential surname of all candidates.
He has dabbled in being a Republican, an Independent, and now a Democrat.
Animal: Golden Tortoise Beetle, whose colors fluctuate seasonally.
Ted Cruz,
who is distantly related to Penelope, or may not be, and who is from Texas. Favorite historical landmark: Great Wall of China. Also a Senator.
Animal: Cockatoo.
Jim Webb,
who used to be a Senator from Virginia, and possibly considers the diminutive former NBA leapfrog Spud to be a friend and family member. Not confirmed.
Animal: Red Squirrel, which is native to Scotland.
Rick Perry,
who is former Governor of Texas - there's also a Rick Parry from New Zealand who plays ice hockey, but I think that's not the one who's running, although perhaps he ought. Former Governor Perry is allegedly no relation to Ted Cruz or Richard Nixon, so we will shut that rumor mill down right now. If he had been around during the French Revolution, he would likely have been volunteering to run the guillotine. Again, conjecture.
Animal: Hairy-legged Vampire Bat. Normally they're native to South America, but one made its way up to Texas. Truth.
Carly Fiorina,
who was a former CEO of Hewlett-Packard, apparently a company that does something with computers (disclosure: I use Macs). Also, I have confirmed, via Internet, that she is not a close relative to Carla Gugina, the mom from Spy Kids and Lily from Sin City; two films which have nothing to do with politics, therefore there's no point in discussing them. She is 5'4". Again, that is Carla Gugino. I have no idea how tall Ms. Fiorina is, and it doesn't matter. Not relevant. Apparently Ms. Gugino also appeared in the disaster film San Andreas, but I have not yet screened it, so I cannot say whether it is relevant to politics or not. It probably is not. I do not know if Carly Fiorina has seen it, because she is busy running for office. Which is not to say Carla Gugino is not not busy acting, because that is a taxing occupation as well. In fact, if you wanted to write her in as a candidate, you probably could.
Animal: Anglerfish.
Bernie Sanders,
who is still a Senator from Vermont, and does not sport an earring.
Animal: Bull African elephant. They live alone.
Donald Trump.
(no relevant information available).
Animal: Congo Peacock.
Marco Rubio,
who is currently a Senator from Florida.
Animal: Gopher Tortoise. They can actually burrow into tunnels and holes forty feet long, and that are wide enough to turn around in!
Martin O'Malley,
who used to be a Governor of Maryland. He also plays the banjo and his middle name is Joseph.
Animal: Deer.
Bobby Jindal,
who is apparently still the Governor of Louisiana, although a current 31% approval rating might be evidence that his mind is elsewhere.
Animal: possibly a Ferret or a Rabbit. One of them is really good at doing cool tricks if you train them right. I don't remember which one.
John Kasich,
current Governor of Ohio, a state which inexplicably is home to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Animal: Baltimore Checkerspot. A butterfly.
Chris Christie,
who is Governor of New Jersey, and distant relative(?) of Kevin James, but this is not confirmed. Middle name: unknown; possibly Kris?
Animal: Wild Boar, possibly caged.
Rand Paul,
who is a Senator from Kentucky. No relation to L. Ron Hubbard that has been proven. Father: Ron Paul. Apparently has a short temper, which is understandable, considering the frequency with which he likely gets confused with iconic graphic designer Paul Rand. Sometimes he is Libertarian; a word which has a lot of letters in common with "Librarian," but which is not apparently related.
Animal: Wolverine.
Paul Rudd,
who has appeared in many American films, and currently has announced no plans to run. There is no evidence to suggest he will, or that he has any interest, which is a shame, because he is certainly one of the top three actors between 30 and 50 in the world not named Matt Damon.
Animal: probably most like a human. Note: I know he's a human. I just think he's a really good example of a human.
Scott Walker,
who is currently a Governor of Wisconsin, if he is not impeached, which there is no reason he should be, unless he has done something reprehensible and illegal that would be cause for him to be impeached, but he probably hasn't, so there is no reason to think he will be, and thus a moot point and no need to bring it up. He does not get very many Christmas cards from Wisconsin unions.
Animal: maybe an animal that hunts Beavers or Eastern Cottontail Rabbits? I was going to look up ones that do this, but got lazy.
Rick Santorum,
who is male, and also a former Senator from New York. He is not afraid to wear a bold tie and won the silver medal in the 2012 Republican Primary.
Animal: maybe a Rain Forest type of Bird? But one that's in a zoo.
____
I apologize for the brevity of this post, but ideally the candidate field will Darwin itself to a point where I can talk a little more in depth about each one, and possibly chat in person with them, as I have a lot of questions I'd like to ask, such as this one:
"What's your favorite magic trick?"
Regardless of how the candidate answers, I would then pounce on them, like this: If they didn't have a favorite trick, I would aggressively question their commitment to representing America, in which Magicians make up twelve percent of the population*, and if they answer with what their favorite trick is, then I would aggressively question how they manage their time, if they are able to simultaneously run for President and be obsessed with magic.
Those are the kinds of trick questions I'm interested in being a part of; the kind that craftily tell you a lot about character, intellectual agility, and empathy.
In eternal vigilance of quackery, steampuffery, and buffoonery detection,
Joseph Long
*I might be confusing this fact with lefthanders, so don't quote me on this statistic in too many places.
UPDATE, PER WALTER COX.
Walter Cox Your bit on Santorum was a little light... Next time maybe google him perhaps? You'll learn *ALL*KINDS*OF*THINGS. Knowledge is power man, embrace its exploration.
Unlike · Reply · 2 · June 26 at 10:14pm
REPLY
This is what else I learned about Richard Santorum in a full background check, in which I ran his name through not only Google, but Bing, and searched across additional social networks, including Orkut and Friendster, and tried** to look him up in my World Book Encyclopedia on CD-ROM, and I am not going to filter what I've learned, I'm simply going to include ALL of the relevant* information I've found on him. I think you'll be impressed.
1. His nickname is "Rooster," which may lead me to rethink the animal I associate with him.
2. He is a "staunch Catholic," but it appears that many Catholics do not vote for him, and my analysis leads me to believe that were he alive, John F. Kennedy would not be playing a weekly round of golf with him.
3. It appears that he is close friends with a columnist by the name of Dan Savage, which is mega points right there, because I believe in the value of being friends with people with cool names. I am not sure what their relationship is exactly, but their names are intertwined in a number of searches, so I think they are close.
4. He has appeared on Hugh Hefner's radio program to discuss same sex marriage; I do not recall his exact position on it, just as I do not recall if it was Hugh Hefner or Hugh Hewitt's program, and I have a vehement dislike of running the same Google search twice, so I'm not going to fact-check it. That's not what I get paid to do here.
5. Mr. Santorum is also very involved in pornography, although again I am unsure of his exact position. He is heavily involved with it, at a political level, and I believe - I THINK; and I am treading cautiously here due to my academic background and belief in the scientificish method - he is heavily in opposition to it, but out of respect for him and his campaign, I will not make that assumption, and we'll just keep it neutral and say that it is something important to him, without assuming exactly where he stands on it. Again, he has chosen to link his name with the topic in many search results, but that's between him and Sergei Brin to work out.
That's about it, and I hope that my exploration of knowledge has led to greater power for both of us. Thanks for spurring me to be all I can be, and more, Walter. Let me know if this is helpful.
____
*I will decide what is relevant
**I did not. I am hoping you don't read this note at the bottom, and instead choose to believe that I did find a use for my old WB encyclopedia on CD-ROM.
Like · 4 · June 27 at 7:40am · Edited
Walter, initially my response to your comment was defensive, considering the exhaustive research that I put into thoughtful analysis for each one. But then I realized you are right. I did not treat Mr. Santorum fairly. I took your suggestion, and am providing additional commentary. I think you'll find it helpful.
This is what else I learned about Richard Santorum in a full background check, in which I ran his name through not only Google, but Bing, and searched across additional social networks, including Orkut and Friendster, and tried** to look him up in my World Book Encyclopedia on CD-ROM, and I am not going to filter what I've learned, I'm simply going to include ALL of the relevant* information I've found on him. I think you'll be impressed.
1. His nickname is "Rooster," which may lead me to rethink the animal I associate with him.
2. He is a "staunch Catholic," but it appears that many Catholics do not vote for him, and my analysis leads me to believe that were he alive, John F. Kennedy would not be playing a weekly round of golf with him.
3. It appears that he is close friends with a columnist by the name of Dan Savage, which is mega points right there, because I believe in the value of being friends with people with cool names. I am not sure what their relationship is exactly, but their names are intertwined in a number of searches, so I think they are close.
4. He has appeared on Hugh Hefner's radio program to discuss same sex marriage; I do not recall his exact position on it, just as I do not recall if it was Hugh Hefner or Hugh Hewitt's program, and I have a vehement dislike of running the same Google search twice, so I'm not going to fact-check it. That's not what I get paid to do here.
5. Mr. Santorum is also very involved in pornography, although again I am unsure of his exact position. He is heavily involved with it, at a political level, and I believe - I THINK; and I am treading cautiously here due to my academic background and belief in the scientificish method - he is heavily in opposition to it, but out of respect for him and his campaign, I will not make that assumption, and we'll just keep it neutral and say that it is something important to him, without assuming exactly where he stands on it. Again, he has chosen to link his name with the topic in many search results, but that's between him and Sergei Brin to work out.
That's about it, and I hope that my exploration of knowledge has led to greater power for both of us. Thanks for spurring me to be all I can be, and more, Walter. Let me know if this is helpful.
____
*I will decide what is relevant
**I did not. I am hoping you don't read this note at the bottom, and instead choose to believe that I did find a use for my old WB encyclopedia on CD-ROM.
Like · 4 · June 27 at 7:40am · Edited
WALTER'S REPLY TO MY REPLY.
Walter Cox That response is exactly what my comment deserved. Kudos!
11.13.2014
QUESTION: ARCTIC OR ANTARCTIC?
I ask, not only because of the inclement weather in the Pacific Northwest today, but because I have been listening to a great deal of Polar Bear and GoGo Penguins; two fabulous (instrumental) ensembles melding together flavors of sound and genres together in interesting ways dipping into jazz, classical, and electronic.
And, of course, ne'er shall polar bears and penguins ever meet outside of a zoo, as they represent their respective Poles. So, are you a North Poler or a South Poler?
Stay warm, friends and others
[might I suggest sampling GGP's Kamaloka or One Percent and PB's Be Free or Lost in Death, Pt. 2?]
And, of course, ne'er shall polar bears and penguins ever meet outside of a zoo, as they represent their respective Poles. So, are you a North Poler or a South Poler?
Stay warm, friends and others
[might I suggest sampling GGP's Kamaloka or One Percent and PB's Be Free or Lost in Death, Pt. 2?]
10.24.2014
QUESTION: John Denver or James Taylor?
Raleigh Clough JT every time!
October 24 at 6:03pm · Unlike · 2
Matt Nutter Jim Croce
October 24 at 6:08pm · Unlike · 1
Joseph Long There are two options. Talking to you, Matt.
Neither would be in my top listening choices, but I do have a strong preference for one over the other
October 24 at 6:09pm · Like
Joseph Long ...and Matt, feel free to go with Jim when it's him or Yusuf Islam.
October 24 at 6:10pm · Like · 1
J Matthew McKern James Taylor. No contest.
October 24 at 7:15pm · Unlike · 2
Holly Irland Dovich James Taylor.
October 24 at 7:20pm · Unlike · 1
Jaimy Oettel Hill I've always been a jOhn Denver fan!
October 24 at 7:23pm · Unlike · 1
Troy Scholz That's s a tough one! I love the Scotsman song that John Denver did, but I also love me some Steamroller Blues by James Taylor
October 24 at 7:31pm · Unlike · 1
John Jutzy JT!
October 24 at 9:38pm · Unlike · 1
Joseph Long I want to like James Taylor, but honestly, he's one of those musical sacred cows that I'm still not a big fan of - my experience with both fellows is mainly through their 'big hits,' as opposed to digging deep into their catalogs, but if I was to listen to JT's classics (not Timberlake) versus JD's...I'd go Rocky Mountain Montana Skies for sure.
James definitely takes the cool cat credentials though. And if anybody can give a couple track recommendations beyond his hits that might evolve my thoughts of him...let me know. Glad to have my opinion changed
October 24 at 10:51pm · Like
Holly Irland Dovich I love Frozen Man by JT.
October 24 at 10:52pm · Unlike · 1
J Matthew McKern You may be right, Joseph, but in this case he benefits from the competition.
October 24 at 10:52pm · Unlike · 1
Joseph Long Thanks Holly - I will take a listen or two
October 24 at 10:52pm · Like
Holly Irland Dovich Let me know what you think...
October 24 at 10:53pm · Unlike · 1
Joseph Long J Matthew McKern C'mon, that's mean! JD may have had a quadruple dose of over-sincere earnestness and I probably wouldn't ever have him in my Top Dinner Guest picks, but the guy had his musical moments!
But yeah, I'm not gonna defend either one too vociferously. I'll save my aggressive defenses for anyone speaking ill of Neil Diamond...
October 24 at 10:57pm · Like · 1
J Matthew McKern Ba Ba Ba
October 24 at 11:05pm · Unlike · 1
Raleigh Clough This is a more obscure track JT did a few years back that I really like for quiet times.
http://youtu.be/BytiU_2MU-A
The Prayer Cycle: Movement V - Grace
Father won't you carry me For the oceans wide Father won't you carry me For my boat is so small. Father on a moonless...
YOUTUBE.COM
October 24 at 11:19pm · Unlike · 2 · Remove Preview
Jeffrey Townsend I can't believe this is even a discussion! JT is a gifted artist with SO much to say! "Never Die Young!" I'll have to try to find an interview with him that was shot for a laserdisc (!) of him and his band prepping an album and tour in a barn on Martha's Vineyard...
October 25 at 6:16am · Unlike · 3
Joy Muth Fackenthall That's an impossible choice!
October 25 at 6:45am · Unlike · 1
Joseph Long Jeffrey, I would like to see the interview...but I already think he's a cool cat with a good vibe. The lore and legend surrounding him is inescapable evidence of his genuine hipness and likeability. He's an icon, a sacred cow! He's been on The Simpsons...See More
October 25 at 6:50am · Like · 1
Joseph Long *Beatles
October 25 at 6:51am · Like
Lee Long
October 25 at 12:25pm · Unlike · 1
Lee Long John Denver: I like playing some of his stuff in head sometimes. I don't dislike JR, maybe it's just that I heard him swear on a movie once. I'm pretty sensitive to that kind of thing.
October 25 at 12:25pm · Unlike · 1
October 24 at 6:03pm · Unlike · 2
Matt Nutter Jim Croce
October 24 at 6:08pm · Unlike · 1
Joseph Long There are two options. Talking to you, Matt.
Neither would be in my top listening choices, but I do have a strong preference for one over the other
October 24 at 6:09pm · Like
Joseph Long ...and Matt, feel free to go with Jim when it's him or Yusuf Islam.
October 24 at 6:10pm · Like · 1
J Matthew McKern James Taylor. No contest.
October 24 at 7:15pm · Unlike · 2
Holly Irland Dovich James Taylor.
October 24 at 7:20pm · Unlike · 1
Jaimy Oettel Hill I've always been a jOhn Denver fan!
October 24 at 7:23pm · Unlike · 1
Troy Scholz That's s a tough one! I love the Scotsman song that John Denver did, but I also love me some Steamroller Blues by James Taylor
October 24 at 7:31pm · Unlike · 1
John Jutzy JT!
October 24 at 9:38pm · Unlike · 1
Joseph Long I want to like James Taylor, but honestly, he's one of those musical sacred cows that I'm still not a big fan of - my experience with both fellows is mainly through their 'big hits,' as opposed to digging deep into their catalogs, but if I was to listen to JT's classics (not Timberlake) versus JD's...I'd go Rocky Mountain Montana Skies for sure.
James definitely takes the cool cat credentials though. And if anybody can give a couple track recommendations beyond his hits that might evolve my thoughts of him...let me know. Glad to have my opinion changed
October 24 at 10:51pm · Like
Holly Irland Dovich I love Frozen Man by JT.
October 24 at 10:52pm · Unlike · 1
J Matthew McKern You may be right, Joseph, but in this case he benefits from the competition.
October 24 at 10:52pm · Unlike · 1
Joseph Long Thanks Holly - I will take a listen or two
October 24 at 10:52pm · Like
Holly Irland Dovich Let me know what you think...
October 24 at 10:53pm · Unlike · 1
Joseph Long J Matthew McKern C'mon, that's mean! JD may have had a quadruple dose of over-sincere earnestness and I probably wouldn't ever have him in my Top Dinner Guest picks, but the guy had his musical moments!
But yeah, I'm not gonna defend either one too vociferously. I'll save my aggressive defenses for anyone speaking ill of Neil Diamond...
October 24 at 10:57pm · Like · 1
J Matthew McKern Ba Ba Ba
October 24 at 11:05pm · Unlike · 1
Raleigh Clough This is a more obscure track JT did a few years back that I really like for quiet times.
http://youtu.be/BytiU_2MU-A
The Prayer Cycle: Movement V - Grace
Father won't you carry me For the oceans wide Father won't you carry me For my boat is so small. Father on a moonless...
YOUTUBE.COM
October 24 at 11:19pm · Unlike · 2 · Remove Preview
Jeffrey Townsend I can't believe this is even a discussion! JT is a gifted artist with SO much to say! "Never Die Young!" I'll have to try to find an interview with him that was shot for a laserdisc (!) of him and his band prepping an album and tour in a barn on Martha's Vineyard...
October 25 at 6:16am · Unlike · 3
Joy Muth Fackenthall That's an impossible choice!
October 25 at 6:45am · Unlike · 1
Joseph Long Jeffrey, I would like to see the interview...but I already think he's a cool cat with a good vibe. The lore and legend surrounding him is inescapable evidence of his genuine hipness and likeability. He's an icon, a sacred cow! He's been on The Simpsons...See More
October 25 at 6:50am · Like · 1
Joseph Long *Beatles
October 25 at 6:51am · Like
Lee Long
October 25 at 12:25pm · Unlike · 1
Lee Long John Denver: I like playing some of his stuff in head sometimes. I don't dislike JR, maybe it's just that I heard him swear on a movie once. I'm pretty sensitive to that kind of thing.
October 25 at 12:25pm · Unlike · 1
8.15.2014
HANDWASHING AND THE IMMENSE WILDERNESS OF THE LIMITED WEEKEND.
Have a restful weekend.
But don't rest too easy.
There's still 10,000 mountains to climb,
and the hills are alive with the sound.
REGARDING HANDWASHING.
This is the 21st century. Which seems obvious. Another thing that seems obvious is that in societies with running water, a person ought to wash hands after exiting a bathroom stall. Yet the frequency I see people NOT doing this is rather astounding. To me, the specifics of what happened inside that stall are irrelevant: if you were in there, and you come out, then, provided there is some sort of running water and ideally some kind of soap...you ought to wash your hands.
Are there regional or cultural explanations on any level?
I don't get it. What is there not to get? Is there some sort of public education breakdown? I'm not in favor of bathroom police checkpoints ensuring everyone exits with clean hands, so on the one level, sure, it's a personal preference...but a personal preference along the lines of those states who have laws where 14-year old girls can get married with parental consent: it may technically be within the bounds of the law, but it's still wrong.*
Not to get overly...smug here, but I rarely ever get sick. For three main reasons. One of those reasons being that I wash my hands when needed. I'm not a germophobe; I just like to have some level of independence and control over what germs are hanging out on me.
Anyway. Enlighten me. Happy Friday
(Do not sidetrack this into a tangent about the overuse of hand sanitizer and our diluted immune systems. That is a different conversation.)
*This may not be technically accurate, but the analogy fit my purposes for the moment. I think the age might be 16 now.
But don't rest too easy.
There's still 10,000 mountains to climb,
and the hills are alive with the sound.
REGARDING HANDWASHING.
This is the 21st century. Which seems obvious. Another thing that seems obvious is that in societies with running water, a person ought to wash hands after exiting a bathroom stall. Yet the frequency I see people NOT doing this is rather astounding. To me, the specifics of what happened inside that stall are irrelevant: if you were in there, and you come out, then, provided there is some sort of running water and ideally some kind of soap...you ought to wash your hands.
Are there regional or cultural explanations on any level?
I don't get it. What is there not to get? Is there some sort of public education breakdown? I'm not in favor of bathroom police checkpoints ensuring everyone exits with clean hands, so on the one level, sure, it's a personal preference...but a personal preference along the lines of those states who have laws where 14-year old girls can get married with parental consent: it may technically be within the bounds of the law, but it's still wrong.*
Not to get overly...smug here, but I rarely ever get sick. For three main reasons. One of those reasons being that I wash my hands when needed. I'm not a germophobe; I just like to have some level of independence and control over what germs are hanging out on me.
Anyway. Enlighten me. Happy Friday
(Do not sidetrack this into a tangent about the overuse of hand sanitizer and our diluted immune systems. That is a different conversation.)
*This may not be technically accurate, but the analogy fit my purposes for the moment. I think the age might be 16 now.
8.10.2014
8.04.2014
LINK: the intelligence of night owls, etcetera.
Post by Joseph Long.
____
I realised this afternoon that I have now officially been a Weird Al fan for a quarter century.
6.30.2014
QUESTION: SONGS, ZERO TO ONE HUNDRED?
I must have done some really good dreaming, because I woke up with a medley of the Beatles' Two of Us and Johnny Cash's Five Feet High and Rising running through my head, which made me think: how many other great songs are out there with numbers in the title?
Is every number from zero to 100 represented? (I have no interest in going to Google for this; I am simply interested in what songs pop into your head immediately that fit this criteria )
Is every number from zero to 100 represented? (I have no interest in going to Google for this; I am simply interested in what songs pop into your head immediately that fit this criteria )
Post by Joseph Long.
6.13.2014
6.04.2014
5.30.2014
GUEST POST: MY FACE IS CRIMSON.
FROM FACEBOOK:
(thank you, Zachary)
____
You lnow who contains wondorous amounts of wizardly wisdom?
Joseph Long
I just refreshed my brain with Eleven Things for Students to Remember. And it's advice reaches far beyond academia. In fact it affirmed my endless questioning of academia. An academia that often surpresses my curiosity and wonder. So I won't let it.
I will remind this dangerous society of more answers than questions that some of their answers are wrong. And I'll even question the right things. Just to mess with them.
Perhaps the solution to the endless debate between Certainty and Doubt is neither of these.
The solution is Wonder.
(thank you, Zachary)
____
You lnow who contains wondorous amounts of wizardly wisdom?
Joseph Long
I just refreshed my brain with Eleven Things for Students to Remember. And it's advice reaches far beyond academia. In fact it affirmed my endless questioning of academia. An academia that often surpresses my curiosity and wonder. So I won't let it.
I will remind this dangerous society of more answers than questions that some of their answers are wrong. And I'll even question the right things. Just to mess with them.
Perhaps the solution to the endless debate between Certainty and Doubt is neither of these.
The solution is Wonder.
4.11.2014
3.28.2014
QUESTION: Favourite rainy afternoon tunes?
Are you married to someone who brings home hot chocolate & whipped cream, speaks Pirate prolifically, and casually references Iron Maiden in conversation?
I am. Happy weekend, all. Already is for me.
____
IS THIS LOVE?
3.15.2014
FIVE REALIZATIONS: DEUS EX MACHINA EDITION, PLUS A DISCUSSION OF CURSIVE.
.jpg) |
| Boy eating ice cream before father swoops in to assist. |
This has gone on long enough. Someday, I will remember to bring my own (sharp) knives to Spaghetti Factory.
2.
Which reminds me: I have a suspicion that Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events just might be the best series of books ever written, and believe me, I have read at least a billion books in my life so far.
I am fighting, strongly, the urge to cheat on my children and read on ahead. Book 8, The Vile Village, is one of the best yet - what other pseudo-children's series can you think of where the protagonists engage in ongoing dialogue about the meaning of deus ex machina?
(Which is: a classic storytelling device in which a seemingly impossible situation is abruptly solved by the sudden appearance of a contrived plot device. Oh, our heroine is about to fall off a cliff. Oh no! But fortunately...that helicopter randomly flying by is able to rescue her. Catastrophe averted. Or: oh no! The hero's sword just broke and the evil ninjas are about to defeat him...but look! Someone left a flamethrower laying around, so looks like he's gonna make it agree all. Deus ex machina: "god in the machine." No matter how horrible the situation, you can always pull the puppet strings and write your way out of it.)
Brilliant, absolutely top-notch storytelling that is frequently so maddeningly hilarious that I start laughing and getting angry I didn't write it first. So, so good. For children, for adults, for everyone who appreciates adventure, witty humor, and sad endings.
2, ii.
Inexplicably, I love - LOVE - "The Ballad of Michael Valentino" by the Killers, off 2011's Sawdust.
3a.
I will love you no matter how old I am, even when I'm a hundred and three.
I told my son.
Well Daddy,
he said.
When you're a hundred and three then you might not look like my Daddy anymore.
Well,
I said.
When I'm a hundred and three, then you might be bald, and that would be funny.
Oh.
He said.
How does Hulk go to the bathroom? His bottom is too big to fit on the toilet.
Truthfully,
I replied (an unnecessary preface),
That is probably the best question I've been asked all week.
And honestly, I do not know, but I want to know.
Oh.
He said.
Me too.
4.
We spent too much time discussing the Winter Olympics last month, as evidenced by the UNO game we played this week. First off, I am disgruntled because it was supposed to be a quick match; an obligatory game before launching into the cinematic delight of Scorcese's Hugo. Rather, this match reminded me of why I refuse to play Monopoly: this UNO game lasted hours.* At the end, there was a medal count, which I attempted to disrupt. My wife took the Gold, my son accidentally got Silver, and my daughter and I duked it out for Bronze. I refuse to disclose the final results, but let's just say if there were podiums, I would have been standing on the floor.
Total failure was averted by the killer playlist I soundtracked the match with, which I began before we begun:
Lana Del Rey
Eleanor Friedberger
Ennio Morricone
the Killers
Alt-j
I don't mind losing, I just don't like other people winning.
*seemed like hours
Happy weekend, all
THE GLEANER (HOMAGE TO Agnès Varda).
CURSIVE.
Post by Joseph Long.
3.11.2014
A THOUSAND, A BILLION, A FORTUNE AND BRUCE BANNER.
Daddy,
he pointed as we sped down the highway.
I can see a billion trees.
Johanni,
I said.
It's highly doubtful that you can see a billion trees right now.
Oh.
He said.
Is a billion more than a thousand?
Yes.
I said.
Okay,
he said.
Then I definitely see a billion trees.
Oh.
I said.
Okay.
____
"Normally I don't approve of children staying up late,"
he said finally,
"unless they are reading a very good book, seeing a wonderful movie, or attending a dinner party with fascinating guests."
- Hector
The Vile Village,
Book the Seventh
A Series of Unfortunate Events
____
"Normally I don't approve of children staying up late,"
he said finally,
"unless they are reading a very good book, seeing a wonderful movie, or attending a dinner party with fascinating guests."
- Hector
The Vile Village,
Book the Seventh
A Series of Unfortunate Events
Post by Joseph Long.
2.20.2014
2.15.2014
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