Sew I Say, Sure We Can

Daddy, can we please sew a purse this morning? 

Sure, I said. Let's do it...later. How about this evening?

Fine, she said. I will draw a pattern. But...will you please put it on the calendar so we don't forget?

That's it, I said. I dropped the dishes and swept her up. 

We are going to sew now. 

We sketched out some pictures of what she wanted to make. Made a little pattern, which we very much did not follow. Picked out some fabric. Cut, snipped, pinned, hemmed, and covered up a hole on one side with a Beatles album cover. One of the things I love about sewing is the great conversations you can have during the process. There is a high degree of patience involved - particularly with a little hand snuggled on top of mine, helping guide fabric through - that makes it difficult to do anything except concentrate on the undulating needle and converse about...stuff.

We spoke of tennis, baking, painting, and her upcoming birthday. She also informed me that she forgot to brush her teeth this morning, so she should probably have some gum instead so her breath wouldn't smell bad.

The purse turned out decent. It now holds her markers and a small drawing pad. Fun, simple project. Magdelana handles all the backstitching, loose thread snipping, pin gathering, presser foot maneuvering, and helps out carefully with the actual sewing portion.

If you have any simple sewing projects that are "all-ages friendly," I would love to hear!

IN WHICH WE SEW NOW, AND NOT LATER.

Daddy, can we please sew a purse today?

Sure,
I said.
Let's do it this evening.

Fine,
she said.
I will draw a pattern. But...will you please put it on the calendar so we don't forget?

That's it.
I said, and dropped the dishes and swept her up.
We are going to sew now.

So we drew up some pictures of what she wanted to make. Chose some fabric. Pinned it. Plopped herself in my lap.

And we sewed.

Why / How

Write a short profile on each other, I said to my students, dividing them into groups of two. What is your angle; what is interesting to you about this other person? Make this a conversational voyage of discovery. How can we get to know this person in greater depth by the end of your profile story? Why should we care? Not just by asking a collection of facts, trivia, and biographic questions, but through a series of conversational questions that allow us to really learn more about what makes this person tick...

A person is more than the sum of their birthdate, gender, style esthetic, music preferences, and Facebook friends forum.

One young gentleman was disgruntled at being pushed to articulate questions more targeted and specific than,

What school did you go to before here? and What sports do you play?

How does asking somebody what sports they play help us get to know them? I ask. It certainly gives us information about them...but does it help to really get to know them - what makes them a unique individual?

There are always different ways to divide up people's "lens for viewing the world." Left brain/Right brain. Pragmatist/Idealist. Conservative/Progressive. Jennifer/Angelina.

I like to think in terms of How and Why. There are How questions concerned with concrete process and procedures and appropriate methods for approaching a task. And there are Why questions that are concerned with motivation and inquiries into people's reasons for making the choices they do. 

What show do you prefer: CSI or The Mentalist? 

Which one is the How program? Which one is focused on the Why? What are your other favourite television programs - which ones, at their heart, are focused on Process and which ones are focused on Motivation? A simplistic query. But try dividing them into one of those two areas...

If How is the Craft, then Why is the Art. They coexist. Ideally, they complement each other. But there is frequently a brutal prejudice in favour of How-type questions, particularly in raising and teaching children. Sometimes, it's a lot easier to teach somebody How to do something then to explain precisely Why they should do it in the first place.

I hate - hate - when people ask questions about Magdelana such as, 

"Has she gotten to the dreaded 'Why' stage' yet?"

I hate it. One of the things I love about Childhood is that in those early years, before you are indoctrinated too deeply in the way you're supposed  to do things, you simply ask Why-questions because you want to know. It's not a disrespect thing. It's simply a desire to know; an evolving of character and logic that is too-often shut down because Why-questions are frequently difficult to answer.

I often don't have good answers to Why questions. Why questions should be conversation-starters; they begin a dialogue of back-and-forth discovery. Why questions may lead to a better How in the end. They frequently raise the question of whether there is need for a better How. 

Why questions are disruptive, just as radical types of innovation are disruptive. That is why certain types of people loathe Why question-askers so much - they disrupt accepted conventions and ways of doing things. They question the givens.

Regardless of what subject I am teaching - Photography, Art, Filmmaking, Creative Nonfiction - the core important ideas share a common DNA with the ideas important to me as a parent. Atop the list is a desire to push our students and children to look beyond the surface of what they see...to ask Why-questions and to not apologize for asking them in a respectful, inquisitive manner. 


The right to ask a respectful question begins at birth. 


And also...


* To embrace the right to ask Why; to develop the self-respect to raise your voice in any circumstance and have the confidence to ask a Why question of Anyone.


* To look past the surface qualities of a photograph or work of art and try to interpret and understand what it represents.


* To articulate in specific terms what is beautiful and unique in anyone and anything...and to connect the relationship between Uniqueness and Beauty.


* To move past "It's good/awesome" and "It's bad/lame" evaluations. Develop a recognition of those microdetails that make something unique. Articulate your preferences and opinions.


* To look for Patterns and Structure and Meaning in the Mundane.


* To find the Good in People and the Great in Life.


___


People are more interesting than they oftentimes give themselves credit for. Especially when you start looking for the details and patterns in their lives...

Anyone can learn how to edit a video. So why don't more people make interesting movies? Because learning the How doesn't automatically mean you've got something interesting to say. It's asking Why questions that get you to the interesting stuff. And those are the people that make the great Art, that make the great Films, that make the great Music, and that search for answers to questions such as What can Science and Technology do to make our lives better? Those Why questions are at the heart of every great inquiry, whether originating from a three-year old child or from a 60-year old scientist.

Why do I have to go to bed now, Daddy? Why? Why? Why am I supposed to go to bed now?


Well dear, I say. Umm, it's because the scientists say that's what you're supposed to do in order to be healthy.


(beat)

And also, because I SAID SO, you little pill! And the Narnian monsters are going to get you if you don't hop in bed RIGHT NOW! Aahhh! Roarrrrrr!


And I tackle her, and toss her in bed, and the giggling is loud.

Sew What

Magdelana and I have been learning to sew. It is addictive, like dark chocolate almonds. It is a total team experience. On my lap she sits, guiding fabric underneath the dangerous needle with stacked hands, counting the backstitches, snipping orphan threads.


Some of my favourite conversations take place here. Why is the needle dangerous, Dodes? Why? Why are we making a hem? Why? Why?
Sometimes I have good answers, and mostly I don't. But our dialogue is wild horse, galloping every which way, per the whims of unself-conscious synapses out for adventure.

And, she invented the title Dodes for me. Rhymes with Roads.

Sewing Ginger

Magdelana and I have been learning to sew.
This is Ginger. The first doll born of our efforts.

Our creative partnership is a model of inefficiency and great joy. Magdelana carefully assists in the pre-sew measuring, pinning, and cutting. When we begin on the machine, she serves as executive producer (seat of honor: my lap) as we carefully guide the fabric underneath the presser foot/needle. She is the undisputed master of the backstitch button, and asks six times a minute if it is time to do so yet. Occasionally, when it becomes temporarily unexciting, she will search out a better vantage point. Such as my shoulders, which then becomes an exercise in extreme sewing.

We also have a few other items we have been creating, and perhaps we will share with the universe sometime. For now, here is Ginger.