Eleven and Out | Magdelana

An on-the-record conversation
 

What is one of your favorite things in the world to do?
Colour paper dolls.

What are some of your favorite books?
I kinda like Looki Pope and…Foh Foh and…

- are you making these names up?

Yep. And Popita. Those are my favorite stories.
Also, Charles Dickens, and Matilda, and The BFG.

What do you especially enjoy doing with your mother?
I like reading Little House on the Prairie with her. And watching Annabelle and Lily with her.

What are your favorite foods?
I like…lollipops. And strawberries. Not as much as grapes; I like grapes. I love grapes. I like them more than apples. But I like apples more than oranges. I don't care for oranges…actually, I like oranges better than bananas. Did you know that? Actually…no, I like bananas better than oranges. Oranges are my least favorite right now.

What qualities do you think make a good princess?

Strong and kind. And loving.

Where do you like to travel?
Indianapolis. My favorite part is going on airplanes. They're just so fun. I don't really care for toy airplanes, I just like real airplanes. When I see one, I wish I could be in one. I wish I could be in an airplane every day. Can we do that?

No.

What are your favorite colors?
Pink and purple and green and gold and silver.

What do you enjoy doing with your little brother?
I like playing Ring-Around-the-Rosie with him. And looking at books. But mostly playing Ring-Around-the-Rosie.

What do you enjoy doing outside?
Running around.

What is your favorite music and what are your favorite songs to sing?
Kimya Dawson. And kid music.

- What is kid's music?

Well, when somebody turns it on, then I know. Hey Daddy, I'm tired of talking about this now. I'm getting frustrated.

- Okay. One more question?

Sure.

What do your parents do for work, and what do you think you want to do when you grow up?

She is a dental hygienist, and you are a writer and a designer and a teacher.

- Wow, that's pretty good! I didn't know that you knew that!

And I want to be a ballerina. Because I think they're pretty, and I like how they dance.

- Okay, are you taking any ballerina classes now?

Daddy, you said one more question, and this is getting frustrating now, so I'm done talking about ballerinas.

Thank you, Miss Magdelana for letting me chat with you on the record.

Why are you saying that?

- Saying what?

Saying 'Thank you Miss Magdelana, for letting me chat on the record?' Because I did not do that.

- Do what?

I did not say anything about records, okay!

- Do you listen to records?

Yes, I do! You know that!

- What kind of records?

Growls. I laugh. 

- Heh heh.

What do you think you're laughing about?!

 - I'm laughing because I was trying to sneak in another question.

Why were you? That wasn't very nice…maybe you're right…hey! Johannes! Daddy, look! Johannes just destroyed something that I built with Legos! Isn't that unkind of him?

- He's a kid under construction.

What do you mean, 'kid under construction?'

- Hey! Now you're asking me all these questions!

- Yep. You've been asking me all these questions and now it's my turn to ask you all the questions. So, that's just how it is…

I fold up the computer. Goodnight, all. Big smile.

____

(excerpted from March 14)

Princess Jasmine versus Lisbeth

Becca took a much-deserved date to le cinéma to see David Fincher's adaptation of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. After she left, Johannes came dragging his pink blanket and bent paperback of Roald Dahl's The BFG. Plopped himself in my lap, Magdelana snuggled up, and we began (over the past months, we have polished off Dahl's Matilda, The Twits, The Magic Finger, etc.)

(Mr. Dahl is a hero of mine).

Turned his head around, buried it in my chest, and fell asleep as I read aloud. Not many feelings better than that.

We read a bit more, and I gave Magdelana the option of 

A: going to bed, 

or

B. having a cinema night, watching Aladdin, and eating some snacks.

****

What do you like about Princess Jasmine?

- I like her smile. That's what I like about her. Her smile. And she's brave. 

How is she brave?

- Because she rode on the carpet with Aladdin. 

****

So we settled in for Disney's version of the classic Arabian Nights tale. She hasn't seen many Disney movies. Largely, her exposure to "princess culture" is from in-store merchandising, and other ubiquitous forms of promotion. Nothing against princesses (see previous posts, e.g. The Police Officers Are Going to Like You...). Just don't care for the attributes they tend to perpetuate (e.g. the need to be rescued, absorbed with clothes & appearance, dismissive tributes to quasi-independence, etc.). At the same, there's some great stories that we have no wish to make 'forbidden fruit;' thus exponentially increasing the allure. Just don't feel that our daughter needs to experience the entire Disney pantheon by the time she's half a decade of age. Anyway. Settled in for Aladdin, taken over by the inimitable Robin Williams voicing The Genie. Snacked away on apple slices, chips & salsa, bread, balsamic vinegar + olive oil, and topped off with a mugga hot chocolat.

So, Princess Jasmine asserts her independence by finally marrying for love, helps out Aladdin a bit, 

has a pet tiger, and speaks up feistily to her father, while Aladdin saves the country and learns the importance of being yourself.

Lisbeth, feisty pierced hacker heroine of Dragon, skates around the globe investigating decades-old murder layered in conspiracy, poking her poked nose where it doesn't belong. Not exactly a please and thank you kinda gal. Her attire might not make the Disney cut either. And if a hero's gonna help out, he's gonna have to catch up.

Aladdin: probably a good choice for us this time around. Fifteen years? Maybe an Aladdin+Dragon double feature with Mags...

Becca called me on the way back, little scared, laughing. How was it? I said. 

Good...can you meet me outside, in the driveway? 

Sure. 

So I grabbed my machete and safely escorted her inside, where we swapped notes on our movies and discovered that they bore little resemblance to one another. 

Time To Say Goodbye (or at least "Goodnight")

Andrea Bocelli's Con Te Partirò is one of our quiet-but-glorious Friday night listening rituals; Italian pop opera that is both sensuous and spiritual and a beautiful way to wind down a week and soundtrack a soft-lit bowtie pasta and artisan bread dinner.

Another good way to wind down a long week: having children stay in bed after they go to bed and you're trying to sneakily get into sugary treats.

*off 1995's Bocelli

Everybody Hurts (But Especially Me At the Moment, Due to Unbearable Pain That is Worse Than Anything That Anyone In the World Has Ever Experienced, But Fortunately I Am Quietly Being Brave and Resisting the Urge to Shriek)

Daddy?

Yes, Magdelana?

I have to go to the bathroom. Which bathroom do you think I should use?

How about...the blue bathroom.

Okay. I think I'll use the yellow bathroom. Thanks!

Everybody Hurts. R.E.M. 1992, off Automatic for the People. A very soft, beautiful, contemplative ballad that should never be listened to before 8pm.

Caldecott #3 (1940) "Abraham Lincoln"

Why are those soldiers' uniforms gray? Why is their flag different? What is slavery? Is slavery bad? Was Abraham Lincoln nice to kids? Was he sad when his mom died? Why are there footprints on the ceiling? Is there slavery today?

Some of the questions that our latest Caldecott-winnning read, 1940's Abraham Lincoln has sparked.

This has been the most popular book so far with both Magdelana and Johannes. Unlike Animals of the Bible (great illustrations, but stiff prose straight from King James) and Mei Li (great illustrations and interesting, but confusing plot), Abraham Lincoln is a simple, richly-detailed introductory biography about an inestimable leader and gentleman of integrity.

Johannes (17 months)  consistently dragged the hardcover, well-worn library copy over to me, plopped it in my lap, and demanded in his squeaky grunt that I read. Now!  It is packed with colourful illustrations; Johannes especially loved pointing out all the details on each page (lots of pigs, horses, various animals, flags, etc.) Magdelana (4+) had a bottomless supply of questions, primarily about slavery, and why people let it happen. 

This has been a wonderful conversation starter. Magdelana and I have been talking a lot about injustice, and about sticking up for people. I do not always have the best answers.

How do you balance the confusing paradox of A) war is bad; don't fight with B) sometimes you have to fight in order to stand up for what's right? 

These are things that adults don't have figured out.

Spoiler alert: the book ends before his ill-fated trip to the theater. Good or bad, it lets his story end on a more upbeat note that leaves out the assassination.

Highly recommend this for both illustrations and text. Informative, thought-provoking and conversation-starting for 4+, visually rich and detailed for younger. And enjoyable reminder of what a good guy Mr. Lincoln was.

He would certainly be a good guy to have around today.

1939

64 pages

Doubleday & Co, Inc.

by Ingri & Edgar Parin d'Aulaire

Photography with Friends

With the replaceable assistance of her irreplaceable assistant, Magdelana artfully arranged a motley collection of her dolls and animals for a portrait shoot. There was conflict, there was emotion, there was attention to detail, and finally a single money shot she was happy with. Alas, Johannes was never able to sneak his beloved stuffed giraffe into frame.

A solid session of teamwork, slushy snow slopping outside, and Vivaldi blasting Spring harmonics on a cold Autumn morning.

Sunday Night Cinema

2011.07.17  
I don't remember what day it usually aired, but I clearly remember watching The Disney Sunday Night Movie when I was around ten years old. The B.R.A.T. Patrol. The North Avenue Irregulars. And...those are actually the only ones I remember. They were hosted by Disney CEO Michael Eisner, who was an interesting choice to be in front of the camera, in the sense of not being a very interesting person in front of the camera (I have heard that he nixed Tom Hanks as host - "too young").

We decided to start our own little Sunday night cinema ritual. Hot dogs, picnic spread, and Father of the Bride. We went with Steve Martin's 1991 version for one reason: we have a copy on VHS. Found it buried between my 8-tracks and typewriter ribbon. Woulda been nice to start with the Spencer Tracy original, but Steve does a splendid job as hapless 'father of the bride' George Banks. Reminds me so much - so much - of my dad sometimes.

Right then, I realized my day had passed. But not in the same way. I was no longer the man in my little girl's life. I was like an old shoe, the kind we manufacture...and get all excited about and then after a few years discontinue. She'll always love me, of course.  

Magdelana informed me a few days ago that "I am never getting married."

I said Okay. Why is that?

As she ran away to the forest, she shouted over her shoulder,

"Silly, I'm going to live with you and Mama forever!"

I will probably be a little more George Banks than I think...someday. And a little more like my dad. Funny how those things work.

If You See the Third One, You've Gone Too Far

I love your scarf! Where did you get it?

Oh, thank you. I got it at Costco.


How much was it?


It's about a...size four, or size five. That's about what I wear right now.    
         I'm four now.


Sweet. How much did it cost?


About, umm, one dollar.


Not bad! I'll have to pick one up.


Actually, it was two dollars.


Well, that's still a pretty good deal.


Actually, it was three dollars.


Uhh...that's starting to get a little spendy.


Okay. It was only two dollars.


I can handle that. How do I get to Costco from here?


Let's see...first you take a left, then you go north. Then there there are 
         two apple trees. Just turn after the second apple tree, and there Costco is.

Strawberry Jam Forever

A snippet from our foray into jam-making as a team. Johannes shares his opinions on proper mixing techniques, and tries to sneak a lick.

Got Into a Scrap, or Two

We have been making blocks out of scrap wood for Johannes (and us) to build with.

She has been having a lot of fun experimenting with lines and patterns. We blasted some Vivaldi and argued over how many syllables are in Sergei Rachmaninov.

Josef / Magdelana

Sew I Say, Sure We Can

Daddy, can we please sew a purse this morning? 

Sure, I said. Let's do it...later. How about this evening?

Fine, she said. I will draw a pattern. But...will you please put it on the calendar so we don't forget?

That's it, I said. I dropped the dishes and swept her up. 

We are going to sew now. 

We sketched out some pictures of what she wanted to make. Made a little pattern, which we very much did not follow. Picked out some fabric. Cut, snipped, pinned, hemmed, and covered up a hole on one side with a Beatles album cover. One of the things I love about sewing is the great conversations you can have during the process. There is a high degree of patience involved - particularly with a little hand snuggled on top of mine, helping guide fabric through - that makes it difficult to do anything except concentrate on the undulating needle and converse about...stuff.

We spoke of tennis, baking, painting, and her upcoming birthday. She also informed me that she forgot to brush her teeth this morning, so she should probably have some gum instead so her breath wouldn't smell bad.

The purse turned out decent. It now holds her markers and a small drawing pad. Fun, simple project. Magdelana handles all the backstitching, loose thread snipping, pin gathering, presser foot maneuvering, and helps out carefully with the actual sewing portion.

If you have any simple sewing projects that are "all-ages friendly," I would love to hear!

No Idea Where She Got It

She runs into the kitchen,
where I am making supper.

Grabs my Kodak video camera,
turns it on and looks at me
as she races out the front door. Announces over her shoulder,

     I have got to video this...I have just got to video this!

I peek outside. She is hunched over,
inspecting rocks with one hand and videoing herself inspecting them with
the other.

She looks up.

     What day is it?

Monday, I reply.

She turns back to her rocks.
Continues shooting, lens pointed
back towards her. Begins
narrating to camera.

     Today is Monday, and 
     Mama is going to be home soon.

I chopped a tomato, and
my heart was so filled with
joy that I almost sank through the floor, which I need to replace.

But then we just ate supper and
listened to Django Rheinhardt.

Very Little Adventures - Episode 5 "Baking, pt. I"

Waiting

1. The Greatest / Cat Power
2. Jeanne, If You're Ever in Portland / Casiotone for the Painfully Alone
3. Another One Goes By / the Walkmen

Saturday night 1.15

Billion raindrops race down windshield. Johannes grunt-slumbers in carseat behind, cheerful smileyhead and indispensable fourth leg in our funny family table.

We spend a lot of time driving, riding, getting from place to place. Also spend a lot of time at traffic lights, in grocery checkout lines, and waiting for a million miscellaneous things or people or events to materialise.

Johannes and I are waiting for Becca and Mags. They are in a Missoula Children's Theater interpretation of "Arthur's Quest." We were all going to go, but upon arriving decided that Big Johanni's muscly almost-seven months old wasn't quite big enough for an hour-long performance with a full audience. So Magdelana and Becca bought a twenty-five cent cookie and grabbed seats.

4. Color of the Love You Have / the Sound Team

JXIL and I walked around Washougal High, then stomped back to our automobile, stuck in a 2006 mix of Yo La Tengo, Cat Power & friends, and took a Saturday evening drive through the hills and faux-fjords of Mt. Norway. Rain thundered, we hummed and slobbered, and conversed a bit about Neil Young. Then JX nodded off.

5. Families / Neil Young

Told my lovely sister-in-law Mary recently, "don't write Neil off...just take a listen to 2006's Living With War...he still writes and rocks as hard as ever." Neil has spent a career singing about two things: love and war. Take a guess what this one's about. Seesaw guitars and his straining vocals make my arms explode with chills, particularly on Families and Lookin' for a Leader.





6. When Doves Cry / the Be Good Tanyas

7. Pink Glove / Pulp
Lights up, body goes spastic, arms and legs marionetting, eyes basketball, at sight of me, or Becca, or Magdelana.

Especially Becca.

8. How to Nurse a Bruised Ego / Vive Voce

2003


One of the best things Becca and I ever did for our relationship early on was nothing intentional or deliberate: we just spent a lot of time traveling together. Mostly via automobile, but there was also a memorable 35-hour Greyhound adventure.

Our early motor car travel was spent listening to billions of hours of music. She introduced me to Ben Harper, Nick Cave, and the Monkees; I showed her Joseph Arthur, Lucinda Williams, and the Kinks. We invented mobile Twister variations and made fun of fast drivers and ate Taco Time veggie burritos and made excuses to make extra coffee stops and laughed a lot, and wondered what kind of parents we might be someday. We talked a lot. Little, stupid, ridiculous, and unimportant stuff.

9. Helicopters / the Crayon Fields.

It is millions of conversations about little, stupid, ridiculous stuff that helps pave the way for the occasional deep, meaning-of-life talks. But you can't just go straight to them. You gotta build a foundation of countless little ones.

2006/2004/2005

We filled the in-betweens with fun. We packed those travel hours with joy.

I like all the little things in life, the mundane waystops between destinations. The waiting. The in-between. The wasted space. The chance to hang out with my son for an hour in a drenched parking lot, even if he slumbers while Jarvis Cocker discos through Pink Glove for the third time.

10. Black Flowers / Yo La Tengo
11. Tribute to Linn / Anna Ternheim

I want our children to grow up learning how to discover the joy in waiting; in filling those cracks with excitement.

Johannes is up. Time to dance.

2002 Becca, on our honeymoon

POSTSCRIPT
Magdelana returned from the performance regaling me with tales of dragons, damsels, and giants. She wants to be in a play. So we are going to write one together.

Popping Stars

Magdelana has been loving the popping stars this time of year. Some call them fireworks, but I like her name for them.

Popping stars.

I am so curious about early childhood memory development, and particularly the role that the proliferation of digital media may play in that development. I, like many parents, have a not-insignificant library of photographs and videos taken over the course of our child's life.

(Unlike many parents, I am extraordinarily - or obsessively - organized about how I label and archive that media. But that's for another day...).

Magdelana is frequently my collaborator in organizing photographs.

Her specificity of recall is...amazing. Example: recently she was referring to very particular details of last Fourth of July. Where we were at (Rockaway Beach). What we were eating (watermelon). What was going on (the stars were popping). These were not topics of conversation in the weeks preceding - it arose, with no apparent context, from the labyrinths of her memory. She would have been a few days shy of two years old when that happened.

Obviously, I am proud of her intelligence and memory. But this is not just parental chest thumping*. My question is legitimate and sincere: how has the proliferation of digital and social media, in which we have rapid access to reviewing recent events in our personal histories, affected the development of individual memories?

Especially those little ones who are growing up with it as the new normal?

*I said "not just"